Lupa | Teddy Lupin

Chapter 14 - Tea and Talking

It had been a week since the full moon and Maddie had been out of the hospital two days. She was very wary that the next day would be Monday and that would mean facing the rest of the school for the first time after her recent transformation. She was going to go and meet with Professor Lupin soon after breakfast, which she still refused to eat in the Great Hall.

She was sitting by herself in her dorm on the window sill, nibbling a croissant that Meelee had brought her. February had rolled around and a rainstorm had settled over the Scottish highlands. Rain lashed at the windows and despite the heat of the castle, Maddie could feel the chill touching her fingers. In fact, her whole body shivered. Not only now, but all the time. Often her muscles even ached from how much she shook, no matter how many layers she wore.

Tossing the rest of her croissant aside, not hungry, Maddie headed to Professor Lupin's office. The corridors were quiet, most people either huddled in their common rooms out of the cold or using the extra time of the weekend to work on homework.

Maddie would've used to use this time to do some extra reading or to maybe cause some mischief with Andrew or Xander.

Before she realised it she'd arrived at Professor Lupin's office and tentatively knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Maddie carefully pushed the door open and saw her Professor looking up from some marking. Although more tired than usual, Maddie's sharp senses didn't miss the look of concern passing over his face.

The professor's office was, as usual filled with tanks of curious animals, stacks of books and many other nick nacks. She recognized the grindylow from her third year.

"Sit please, Maddie." He gently ordered. She did so and he offered a drink.

"Tea's fine, thank you."

He nodded, handing her a steaming mug. The caffeine woke her up slightly and she knew her professor was stalling.

"I'm not going to lie to you Maddie, I have no idea how to handle this situation, but I will try my best. Is it ok if we go through one thing after the other and possibly find solutions to each issue?"

Maddie was slightly confused but agreed with a sharp nod of her head.

Remus noticed how stiff she was in her chair.

"Where would you like to start?" He asked unsurely.

"Professor?"

"What would you like to talk about first?" He encouraged. Remus disliked this situation greatly. He never usually struggled to talk freely with his students. So he decided to try and start with a lighter topic.

"Well, your grades have been dropping for starters. I of course understand why-" he rushed, noticing her head hang low, "but with OWLs next year, all information you learn this year will be crucial. I know your mind has been preoccupied, but once we sort those issues out I have complete confidence you will be able to catch up." He paused, noticing Maddie seemed to want to talk.

"You do?" She was surprised. She certainly didn't feel that she'd be able to catch up with all the work she hadn't been doing. Remus smiled kindly.

"Maddie, you are one of the brightest witches in your year. Your intelligence is obvious from the way you present yourself to the hard evidence of your grades. You've been preoccupied and I imagine homework is the last thing you'd want to be doing at the moment, but I have complete faith that if you put your mind to it, you'll be up to speed in a minute. I've also had a word with all your teachers and all would be happy to fit in catch up sessions, should you not be able to catch up by yourself." He assured her and for the first time in weeks, he saw a flicker of life in the girl's amber eyes. With a jolt in his stomach, he realised that her school work alone had been a cause of serious worry in the girl's mind.

"Thank you Sir." She looked him in the eyes and took a sip from her tea.

"Now," he began on a trickier topic, but was encouraged by how well that conversation had just gone. "About this anxiety you've been experiencing." He paused and saw a flickers of fear in the young girl's eyes. "Mental illness is a serious and hard thing to deal with Maddie. But often it's something you can't get through it by yourself. I want you to speak to your friends if you feel comfortable. You can speak with me too, I may be able to offer advise. Madam Pomfrey too. In fact, do you think you can tell me about the things you've experiencing, other than panic attacks that we discussed last week?"

Maddie looked up at her professor, her mouth very dry despite the tea she was sipping. She opened her mouth and hesitated. She thought for a moment if there was any teacher that she'd like to know about it, she would definitely want Professor Lupin to be that teacher.

"I don't know if it's for the same reasons..." she began slowly; she really wasn't sure of how to talk about this. "I've kinda lost my appetite completely and... I find it harder to concentrate and... I always overthink... it's sorta harder to get to sleep and I dunno, I get this kinda nightmares about it." Maddie paused, not looking up. That was probably the most she's said in one go for months.

Remus looked at calmly, his exterior controlled but inside his heart was breaking for his son's best friend.

The strong, confident, outgoing girl had hidden herself deep within and this broken, nervous person before him had embodied Maddie. He knew the Maddie who had a sharp tongue, witty humour and a sparkle of mischief in her eyes was in there, he just needed to work out how to find her again.

He thought of an idea.

"Maddie, I'm going to tell you a story from I was around your age, maybe a few years older." He began and Maddie looked up at him.

"When I used to transform, my friends James, Sirius and Remus all used to transform as animagi to accompany me." He recalled and the young girl nodded, having heard this tale many times before. "One time when we were out in the grounds some kind of werewolfish characteristics came over me. I don't know why but I got riled up and my friends had to try and calm me down. I didn't realise until the following afternoon when I woke up, but I had managed to cut James on his arm, and quite badly too.

Naturally I was upset. I shut myself away from my friends, let the burden of being a werewolf torment me, define me. I of course, still shared a dorm and lessons with my friends, but would avoid them the best I could. After a week or two of this behaviour, they quite spectacularly cornered me in an impressive prank." He grinned, remembering that moment like it was yesterday.

"I was very annoyed. As far as I was concerned I was dangerous, a werewolf. They took me to our dorm and all sat around me. I felt like they should hate me. But they told me how much they loved me. How much they cared for me. I didn't realise it, but they did. And because of that, nothing else mattered. But one thing James said that I've tried to keep with me since then was 'This heart is who you truly are.'"

Remus paused and his deep blue eyes met Maddie's golden ones.

"Do you understand Maddie? What he means is this ; you nor I am a werewolf. It is a part of who we are but it does not define us until we let it, until our hearts believe that we are it. The same goes for this mental difficulty you are facing. It is a struggle and it is tricky to get over it. However much it torments and haunts you though, it does not define you. I need you to remember that.

"Now I will give you various pieces of advise to cope with the torment you are experiencing, but none of it will be effective if you cannot remember that." He concluded and Maddie gave him a gentle smile.

An hour or so later, after talking with Professor Lupin a bit longer, Maddie left his office feeling oddly enlightened.

A/N - STAN REMUS LUPIN FOR CLEAR SKIN. Seriously though, idk how that came across to you guys reading it, but in my head he's exactly what we need teachers to be now days.

What do you think will happen to Maddie next?

What do you think of Remus' advise?

And also what do you think of my lil anecdote that I completely made up from no solid evidence?

Until next time !!

Xx