Loving Him Even In Sadness

Loving: Eleven

Kiss

We entered our hotel room with a heavy atmosphere and an awkward treatment with each other.

"I'll just get another room if you don't want me to be with you in the same room, Zen," he suggested.

But my conscience is eating me. There's enough bedroom inside this suite after all. So, I guess it will be fine? It is not about I don't want him to be with me. It's just that it looks awkward to be with him under the same room.

"Zen, you know... I have money and I can book for myself -"

I stopped him before he can utter another word and gestured him to keep quiet because I have someone to talk to. Mom is calling.

"Mom, we've arrived," malamig na usal ko towards Mom.

I may be fine but I don't like what she did regarding this roommates thing!

"That's good. Are you alright about the booking?"

Umirap ako. How I wish I could lash out at her that what she did wasn't fine at all!

"It is fine. We're together with the person you wanted us to be with," may diin lahat nang sinabi ko sa kanya.

I'm trying to keep my cool but couldn't.

Mom told me the reason why she did it. She just want Zack to be around me because I'm the only one who's close to him here. I didn't even know that we're close. Weird. It will be a burden to me because I'm a bit uncomfortable when I'm around him. I don't know why. Yet, I'll try my best. Ayoko sagutin ang mga tanong ko sa sarili.

After the call, Zack suggested that we should rest first. Medyo awkward because we get to see each other in one room. Pero hinayaan ko na lang.

Hindi ko alam bakit nandito pa siya sa sofa. When he told me that he's going to rest, he should be on his bedroom right now.

My eyes stayed on the ceiling for a few minutes before I planned on settling my vision to Zack. To my horror, I saw that he's already looking at me.

Napalunok ako dahil mukhang nanuyo ang lalamunan ko.
I saw that as his eyes darted on me his brows will automatically furrowed.

"What's with the stare? You're giving me creeps," I told him letting out a small laugh.

He just smirked.

Siguro ito ang rason bakit hindi ako nagiging komportable - iyong epekto niya sa akin. I am uncomfortable because of the feeling that he's giving me.

"Who's the lucky guy?"

"Don't get me wrong, you didn't answer your friends' question kaya uulitin ko nalang," he continued.

I laugh mockingly. "And what makes you think that I would tell you, hmm?" titig lamang ang naisagot niya sa akin.

I looked up just to settle my eyes at the ceiling. I sighed heavily. I wanted to tell him. But it might be creepy for him. He might think that my affection towards him as my idol, I took it into another level.

"Alam mo 'yon? The eagerness, the feeling of you wanting to fall for a certain person but you are afraid maybe that someone you are falling for won't accept you," gano'n nalang kaseryoso ang kanyang mga mata noong tiningnan ko siya.

Ang seryoso niyang mukha. I wonder... he is so expressive. His eyes shows a lot of emotions, so as his whole face, and even his voice for that matter.

"I'm halfway on telling him, but not now," sabi ko sa kanya habang nakatingin sa kanyang mga mata.

He gave his menacing stare. "I'm also halfway on telling her."