Loving Him Even In Sadness

Loving: Thirty-Eight

Engagement

The intro of the song Marry Me played as soon as I walked in. Nang marinig ko ang kantang ’yon, it was not just a played music through speakers, someone is singing it.

Agad kong sinuyod ng tingin ang buong palapag kung saan nanggagaling ang tunog na iyon, at kung sino ang kumakanta.

Wake up every morning with you in my bed

That's precisely what I plan to do

My eyes fixated at Zack as soon as I darted my vision on him. He’s here. He’s the one singing the song. Napakaseryoso niya habang nakahawak ng microphone at kumakanta.

And you know one of these days, when I get my money right

Buy you everything and show you all the finer things in life

Nang kantahin niya ang linyang iyon, kusa kong naalala lahat ng pinagtrabahuan namin para sa hinaharap. I remembered when he told me how he worked hard just so he would deserve me. And so I am to him. So that we will live a better life.

Will forever be enough, so there ain't no need to rush

But one day, I won't be able to ask you loud enough

Nang sandaling ito, nasa harap ko na siya dala ang napakatamis na ngiti habang nakatingin ng napakariin sa akin. Na para bang mawawalay ako kung kukurap siya.

I'll say, "Will you marry me?"

I swear that I will mean it

I'll say, "Will you marry me?"

My mouth formed an 'o' when I totally realized the song was all about. Hindi ko napigilan na pangiliran ng luha. Kahit idinaan niya sa kanta, alam ko na iyon pa rin ang ibig sabihin niya. I’m not assuming things. I am certain!

Dahan-dahan niyang kinuha ang kamay ko at masuyo niya itong hinawakan na para bang isa iyong mamahalin na bagay na dapat bigyan ng higit na pag-iingat. He held my hand as if it’s very fragile and in need to be handled with care.

Mas lalong namuo ang aking luha dahil sa narinig na lyrics sa kanta. Tanungin mo lang ako nang maayos Zack, talagang sasagutin din kita nang maayos.

Gano’n pa rin ang tingin niya, napakaseryoso at puno ng pag-asa at pagmamahal. Hinigpitan niya ang kanyang hawak sa aking kamay at marahan akong hinila patungo sa unahang bahagi ng rooftop kung saan may tent na puno ng decorations, parang noong debut ko lang.

To get right down on bended knee

Nothing else would ever be better, better

Hininto niya ang pagkanta at masuyo niya akong hinalikan sa noo.

“Zen?” Tawag niya sa akin at agad naman akong napatingin sa kanya.

“Yes…love?”

“I…I don’t deserve you…” he told me with eyes tearing up. Kaya gano’n din kasakit sa akin ang sinabi niya.