With All Might

Kabanata 38

Mighty

Bundol ng malakas na pintig ang naramdaman ko habang pinupunasan siya. Bawat pag dampi ko ng tuwalya sa mukha niya ay napapamura ako sa aking isip. God, I'm sweating hard even if it's raining.

He guided my hand slowly. Ramdam siguro niya ang panginginig ng kamay ko. I bit my lower lip and I couldn't look at him again. Pakiramdam ko'y masisilyaban lang ako ng apoy at mag-iinit.

"You should change your clothes. You're wet. I'll try to call for help." sabi ko at agad binitawan ang towel.

He chuckle softly but I ignore his teases.

Kinuha ko agad ang cellphone and to my disappointment, walang signal! Kung walang signal ang cellphone ko, malamang siya rin. Now how will we contact for help? Alam ni Yaya Aida na magkasama kami ngayon at hindi 'yon magtataka kung hindi ako uuwi! Ano pa kaya ang parents niya? Are we both at age for them to check on us? Of course we are!

"Walang signal." malungkot kong sabi.

"Hmmm?"

I watch him as he remove his long sleeve. Namilog ang mga mata ko pag tingin ko sa dibdib niya at pababa sa tiyan. Damn! Magkakasala ako nito sa mga naiisip ko. How can a busy Mayor like him have that kind of body? Does he had a strict proper diet? Or does he go to the gym?

Kinuha niya ang isang puting t-shirt mula sa duffel bag. Naka hinga ako ng maluwag ng maisuot niya na ito. If only I could have a reflection of myself in the mirror, I probably look stiff and constipated now.

Breath in and breath out, Zaccary.

Nag hintay kaming tumila ang ulan. Natawag ko na yata lahat ng santo at santa pero wala paring nangyayari. Mas lalo lang bumuhos ito.

The sound of the rain, dropping and smashing the cover of his car and the frogs creates background sound in our silence. Panay lang ako buntong hininga. Siya naman, hindi ko alam dahil hindi na ako tumitig sa kanya. Pakiramdam ko talaga, lalagnatin na ako dito sa upoan.

I could clearly remember how Gabriel thought that I have a fever on the day I almost confess to him. Iniisip ko noon, malala na ako. Na ang pag-ibig na ganoon, sobra pa sa inaakala ko. And when I flew to New Jersey and started dating Benz, inakala kong sinilyaban uli ni Benz ang natupok na apoy sa'kin. We kissed and he was touchy pero hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ko magawang ibigay ang sarili ko sa kanya. It's the same with Stefano and Crux. I was a model and the environment of my job is no longer innocent in that particular thing but the urge in myself not to entangle myself in that was to the peak.

Ngayon, hindi na ako maperme. I don't know what is in Hex's eyes but whenever he stare at me, in gentle, in dark or miserable eyes, I always feel like I'm losing air to breath. He is the only person who could ever made me feel this way. Konting haplos niya lang, nanghihina ako. Kapag hinahapit niya ako at nagdidikit ang balat namin, nawawala na ako sa sarili. I always found myself lose in my senses with his touch and stares, even his voice.

And for a long time, I acknowledged that this is what makes him different. Kung bakit sa matagal na panahon ang nagdaan, hindi ko siya magawang palitan. Hindi siya kailanman nawala sa isip ko. Lalo na sa puso.

The wind may blow me away from him, the time may erase me from his life and the distance may change everything between us, in the end, I always, always, come back to him.

Tumikhim ako at tumuwid sa pag-upo. Pinakialaman ko na ang compartment gloves niya. There's nothing in it though kaya binuksan ko ang stereo.

It played a song titled Way Back Into Love. It's weird for him to have this song on his CD but... I let it play.