Losing Grip

Chapter 27➷ Stop Smiling Like That, It's Freaking Me Out

"It's simple, Celery. You cannot get rid of us," Jacob said, leaning back in his seat at the back of our English class, where it was natural to ignore the teacher.

Spring break had slipped through my fingers before I could hold on to it. The deadlines for my essays and projects were approaching and I had not written more than a hundred words the last time I tried.

"Yeah, no way we're not having a birthday party," Matthew said, then he snorted at the nickname, "Celery... I could get used to that."

"Don't," I said and he held his hands up in defense with a sheepish grin.

Ever since Jacob mentioned that my birthday was coming up, no one ever dropped it. Between mumbled schemes in class and rumors of surprise parties, I didn't know where to bang my head next.

Because our birth dates were so close, Riley and I often celebrated our birthdays on the same day. It was usually a simple hang out with Dad, Jake, and Avan. Dad and Avan would nod along to a horrible country song and Jake, Riley, and I would mock their taste in music.

It became one of the most constant things in my life. Same day. Same time. Same people. I lived for constants, but this birthday would be a far cry from it because the one person I wanted to share it with would be missing.

"18," Matthew mumbled in a wistful tone. "Brings back memories of the old days."

"Dude, you're not even 19 yet," Bradley told him, turning around in his seat, and Matthew grimaced.

Matthew and some of the other boys on the team still hadn't gotten over their silly competition with Bradley. And as they loved to remind me, it had nothing to do with the fact that a scout had offered him a full-ride scholarship for football last September.

"Sure, but it definitely feels like I've been 18 forever," Matthew replied, nodding to acknowledge Bradley. "Do you guys ever feel 90 at heart?"

I shook my head. Matthew had some of the most ridiculous questions I had ever heard and I wished I knew where they came from. But Jacob and Bradley seemed to genuinely consider the question as if it was a perfectly normal thought.

"Interesting conversation," Jayce said, a mocking expression on her face. "You know what else is interesting?" The boys laughed as if they already knew what she was going to say. "The lecture—which you would know if you hadn't started talking ever since class started. Are you all trying to fail?"

Matthew laughed, holding on to his stomach and briefly attracting the teacher's attention who shot him a stern look before carrying on with what she was saying.

"I never try to," he said when he finally stopped laughing. "It just happens."

"Yeah, no. I'm not staying here any longer than I need to." Jacob straightened his chair to fully face Mrs. Meyers.

The daunting pile of homework on my nightstand, increasing at an alarming rate, screamed that it agreed with Jayce and I knew I needed to stop tuning out my teachers.

My mind hadn't fully adapted to being in school again. I missed sleeping late, waking up late, and staying in my pajamas all day. Even now, as I watched Mrs. Meyers's hands and her mouth moved as she spoke, my mind could not register the meaning behind the unconnected snippets of words I heard.

My brain was nowhere to be found, useless as usual, drifting aimlessly. Of course, I couldn't catch up. I powerlessly trailed behind.

Fingers snapped in front of my eyes and I jumped in my seat, startled.

"Are you planning on staying here forever?" Matthew asked, slightly leaning over my desk.

"Huh?" I looked around and realized everyone was leaving the class. "Oh."