isolation [matty healy]

pt. 4: stormy

i woke up around 10am to one numb arm and a neck cramp. somehow i'd rolled into a weird position during my sleep and my body wasn't very happy about it.

sitting up, my mind started filling with imagery and plots from last night's dreams, and i smiled to myself. i had managed to come back to a reoccurring dream in which i'm completely detached from my body, going through some of my best memories. going to my first concert, seeing my grandmother healthy and happy after a health scare, relaxing memories of being in a family member's garden. light fluffy stuff that didn't make my heart hurt.

i got out of bed and made my way downstairs, thinking about the day ahead without amanda, and the possibility of more conversations with the mysterious matthew. usually when i'm very curious about a guy, my brain likes to torture me by featuring him as a main character in a dream, in a not-so-innocent way, so i was kind of grateful for the simple highlight real. it'd be pretty embarrassing to try to have a conversation with him after a wet dream. then again, i don't actually know what he looks like, so my brain doesn't have much to work with.

i settled on a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and made my way to the back patio, hoping to hear from matthew.
it was quiet after i closed the door, so i frowned to myself and sat down. i was scrolling on my phone and absent-mindedly eating bits of my cereal when i heard an unfamiliar voice from the neighbor's backyard call to me.

"excuse me?" the voice said, "are you carrie?"

"um," i replied, nervous, "who is asking?"

"my name is george, i'm matty's friend."

"oh," i said, confused as ever. "he introduced himself as matthew last night. but yes, i'm carrie." i waited awkwardly for a reply as i heard a chair being dragged across the wooden patio, and then felt very nervous as a face peeked over the top of the shared fence.

"hello, carrie," he said, smiling. he had medium-length light brown hair, and was wearing the same sunglasses i had seen him in the other night. he was standing on a chair but i could tell he was exceptionally tall given how much of him i could see. "matty's still sleeping but i thought i would come over and say hello, maybe explain who we are a bit, and see if you're even...comfortable with this situation."

i chuckled as i turned my chair in his direction, and then decided to stand on the edge of my patio to be a little closer, but not too close. we weren't wearing masks.

"what's the situation? also... you seem like, really familiar for some reason."

he nodded slowly, rolling his lips into his mouth as i assume he was thinking what his next move was gonna be. i had some suspicions about who they were but, shit, that's fanfiction fantasy bullshit.

but then he said, "well, i don't know if you're familiar with our music," i felt my heart pound as he spoke, "but matty and i are in a band. we're called the 1975," i nodded as he spoke, feeling my hands start to shake a little bit as i was getting more and more nervous, "and matty... well, matty is having a hard time right now. i'm trusting you a lot by talking to you about all this. his life story isn't my story to share, but he is very vulnerable right now, and he's my best friend. so i'm just looking out for him."

i waited until he had finished speaking, and it calmed me slightly to see that he seemed just as nervous as i was. i said, "okay george, i know who you guys are. i really enjoy y'all's music, but i promise i'm not a stalker, and i will leave you guys alone. you won't get any trouble from me-"

"no no no," he interrupted, "i'm not worried about trouble from you! it's. well." he ran a hand through his hair, slightly frustrated with himself, "the point is, i just wanted you to know who we are, and i honestly wanted to see what kind of person you are. matty spoke about you quite a bit last night even though you had just spoken to each other. so like... he's not well right now. he's okay, getting better, but he's got a lot going on. i just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page."
i could feel how much george cared for matty, just from the way he talked about him, and his body language.
i was right; matty has his own amanda.