Typical WWE Fanfic Moments

kidnaps & the shield

WARNING: This chapter contains besides the "typical wwe fanfic moments"  some serious ranting that can offend some of you, so I strongly recommend you to not read the first part if you have a fanfiction about kidnapping. The writing in bold semnalizes the end of my stupid-ass rant.

First I wanted to write about dates in this chapter, but I really needed to get this thing off my chest, so next chapter will be about first dates.

I made a big mistake, and of course that mistake was reading a fanfiction and since then I don't know about you guys, but when I see fanfictions that contain "kidnapped by X" or synonyms I just want to shot myself. Titles like this:

- Kidnapped by The Shield

- Captured by The Shield

- Held Hostage by The Shield

- Stolen by The Shield

- Seized by The Shield

- Abducted by The Shield

- Snatched by The Shield

- The Shield kidnapped me : A Shield Fanfiction

Oh God I can't even.

And basically what happens in each one of them: the girl is kidnapped by the shield but one of them suddenly starts to feel sympathy for her and falls in love with her and of course that she does the same. Not every person that is kidnapped has Stockholm Syndrome, you know? I understand that two years ago/last year stories like this were on  top, but this shit has to stop. You have a thing called imagination: FUCKING USE IT. Oh God, and don't even get me started on the way they treat her. 

Or with rapes. And she still falls in love with him. EVERY-FUCKING-TIME. 

Jesus Christ what the hell? Don't you ever watch fucking news? Do you fucking document before you write things like this? Rape mostly leads to psychological traumas and paranoia, but you fucking make it seem like it's goddamn nothing and I'm sure I'm not the only one sick of it.

Basically, just because he is hot as fuck it's okay for him to rape her, am I right? And 70% of time this shit is written by girls under 16. What. The. Fuck. 

Of course that she never goes to the police too and she immediately forgives him after hearing his lifestory. Lol rape is the same with stealing tampons why should she report it? Alright, if it's a story and it has that title, and you read it it's your business, you know what to expect. But when I see those things in imagines I just want to slam the writer's head on a fucking wall.Fine, girl, you have this sick ass fantasy of you getting raped/gangbanged by the Shield, keep it for yourself. Some of us want to read nice things and keep our innocence, thank you. <haha such a sweet summer child>I don't want to imagine myself being raped by Roman Reigns or being called a slut when his rock hard member thrusts into me, thankies. <ok hoe maybe i do but with consent >And don't get me started on those sex slave images or weird-ass dom <damn i was such a kink shamer i apologize but dont blame me the content was low quality and it still is *tear*> ones with masters.Okay. I'm done. Let's start what you came here for.

chapter three - kidnaps & the shield

- Our 5'0" Carolina always joins the Shield. Because she is so fucking intimidating brrrr

 - Dean Ambrose is the only one with mental illness. Always schizophrenia and everybody knows that, and still nothing happens. Why would they drag his sorry ass to a mental asylum lel when he can be free and mentally abuse 5'0" girls. Jeez what are we in 50's to send people at mental asylums?????

- Our poor Seth Rollins is always the best friend that has feelings for her but she loves too much the abusive Dean Ambrose to even notice it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Sir Seth from House Rollins, King of the Friendzone and protector of 5'0"  intimidating Shield girl members.

-Lovey dovey Roman Reigns is always single. I mean who the hell would want a sexy samoan with wonderful black hair that looks like a fucking warrior, right??????

-  Also, Roman calls everyone baby girl.

"Oh, hey there baby girl, gimme some baked gorgonzola and some kents, plx" Roman said as he checked out the 69 year old man. He really liked the way his wrinkled, slender fingers typed on the cash register. "Oh and also, I'd like a ice cream cone, y'know, for the good times? If you can bring it to me now, baby girl."

You know, when you have nothing to stick your dick into.

- Dean is the only one to give the girl food names.

"Oh, hey there cupcake. Sugar. Honey. Flour. 1/2 butter. 

- But always cheats on her. And guess what - she fucking comes back everytime. I surprised you didn't I??? Although he gets it with the whole fucking roster she is stiillll coming back to him. 

Because he's Dean Ambrose. 

But if she cheats on him, everything dies and she tells him immediately.  Like if happened 5 seconds ago she still tells him. BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM DUH AND DON'T WANTS TO SEE HIM HEARTBROKEN YEAH

Jesus you thought that an apocalypse was the worst could happen??????

Watch this.

" Hey there honey. Whazzap?" Dean carelessly asked, throwing himself beside her on the couch.

"Oh... nothing much" Juanita said while she looked  at the window. 

"Heey cupcake, what's wrong? he asked supah-confused. 

CONFUSION * DUM DUM DUM * 

"I... I cheated on you, Dean."

"What... with who?"

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Wait for ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

"Larry The Cable Guy!!!"

Anger. Rapes. Hits. Cheats.

did you expect that motherfucker???? i bet my sweet ass you didn't yeah

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First of all, if you have a fanfic about kidnaps and rape, it's your business. I can't make you change it now, can I? I just shared my opinion, so if this got you angry, you gotta calm your tits.

Ok, I want to apologize the language I used in this chapter and I'm sorry if I offended some of you with this, I know that this book it's meant to be a pamphlet but this thing got out of control and I felt like I should share it with you guys, also I want to hear your thoughts about this too. K. Here is a gif of a cutiepie to cheer you up *wink*.