egodeath

2

3rd person
     Zak woke up, still somehow not feeling well rested at all. He rolled to his side and pushed himself up. He rubbed the crust out of his eyes and blinked a few times allowing himself to actually wake up. He checked his phone to see if he had any messages from bad or anyone but nothing.

     He shuffled out of his room and into his kitchen. He had moved back to florida and into his own apartment hoping to feel at home but also have his own space to be able to record and stream. Once in his kitchen he blinked into the abyss of the fridge feeling his stomach rumble. He couldn't remember when the last time he ate was. Last night he was going to get some food but felt too upset and decided to just sleep after hanging up with Bad. Letting the fridge doors close, he looked at his counter and focused on a little orange prescription bottle. Zoloft.

     He sighed and poured himself a glass of water and popped the pill into his hand and had a staring contest with it before persuading himself to take it.

It was back in Los Angeles November 2019 that he had started taking them. He had been on a downward spiral and his sister urged him to go to a psychiatrist, who prescribed him Zoloft eventually moving the dose up to 150 mg. He had told no one and just hoped it would work.

Now back in Florida, he stopped seeing his therapist but continued with the prescription his psychiatrist had given him. For a while at first it worked he felt like he was fine, better than before. But recently he was feeling like a zombie, and more depressed then ever.

The sounds of his phone vibrating against the cold countertop brought him back to the present and he checked who it was. He felt himself smile a bit as he read his friends name on the caller ID.

"Hey Bad!" Zak said as he picked up the call.

"Hey Skeppy, just wanted to check in. Sorry I just woke up, guess I've been a bit tired too." Bad laughed a bit into the phone before continuing, "So.. how are you doing?"

Zak looked over at the clock on his oven reading, 14:02, laughing a bit at his friends awful sleep schedule. "I'm doing alright, you?" Zak tried his best to smile through his words hoping to sound a bit less dead.

Bad didn't believe him too much but figured it'd be best not to push it for now, not wanting to bring down the mood. "Aw, well Im glad you're okay. How's your day been so far, have you eaten yet? Had some water? Showered?" Bad said hopeful that his friend seriously wanted to take a break from youtube to take care of himself. He heard silence though, indicating that he had not. Zak felt bad, feeling like he had somehow let his friend down. Bad felt the mood shift as his friend stayed quiet. "Hey it's okay, just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself. Why don't we have breakfast together on the phone?" Bad suggested, to which skeppy smiled and giggled a bit.

"Like a date?" Zak asked, hoping to mess with his friend just a bit.

Bad would usually feel a bit annoyed but was not relieved to hear his friend joking around a bit. "Sure Zak, a breakfast date."

Zak laughed into the phone hearing his friend use his name with fake annoyance. "Sure then, Darryl, I'd quite like that." He set his phone down on the countertop and pressed the speaker so he could hear Bad and walk around.

"So.. watcha gonna eat skep?" Bad pressed.

Zak looked around his kitchen. It was pretty barren, the last time he felt energy to actually go out grocery shopping, he ended up sitting in his car in the parking lot, no being able to coax himself out and into the store. The anxiety was too much and he didn't know why. He calmed down and drove back to his house empty handed. He didn't want to bother his family because his sister was convinced he was doing alright and he would like to keep it that way.

Bad broke through the silence, "Skeppy?" he waited a bit "Everything alright?"

"Yeah all good sorry Bad, just looking through my kitchen." Zak quickly answered after snapping back into it. Bad hummed in response. Zak opened his fridge again and saw a cup of greek yogurt. There was not much left but it'll suffice, he thought. He put it in a bowl and poured a bit of granola with freeze dried berries on it. "Made a parfait with what I have."

"Sounds good Skeppy." Bad smiled, happy to hear that his friend would at least be getting a decent breakfast today, hoping it'd start a better day than yesterday. "I'm having some bacon and blueberry muffins, with some coffee of course."

The two silently ate their food, feeling less lonely knowing the other was there, albeit through the phone. Darryl finished first and started to tell Zak about his plans for the day, while the other finished.

Zak's mood started to drop a bit. He hadn't eaten more than a half a granola bar and some skittles in at least 2 days. He just had no appetite, he didn't want to let Bad down though so he told his friend he was also done and that he was going to hang up and get cleaned up.

The two said their goodbyes, Bad reminding Zak that if he needed anything or felt down again that he was just a text or call away. Zak smiles at this and said thank you before the two hung up.

Zak sighed. He wished that he didn't have to fake being happy. He didn't want his friend to worry so he tired his best to bring up the energy and seem better than he was yesterday. But all that just left him feeling even more tired than before. He got up from the barstool he had been sitting on while eating breakfast and scooped the remaining food out of his bowl and into the compost. Wishing he could eat more, yet feeling sick just thinking about it.

He left his kitchen and hopped in the shower turning the water to the hottest setting but somehow still feeling a bit cold. He just stood there and let the water hit his chest until eventually he snapped back to reality and shut the water off and got dressed in some new sweats and a long sleeve black shirt. He thought about going out but felt a wave of tiredness come over him as he crawled into his bed and passed out.

After a few hours he woke up, contemplating going back to sleep but seeing it was almost 7 pm, he decided to scroll through twitter instead. A lot of stand we're posting uplifting fan art of him and Bad hugging or just kind messages. He smiled a bit feeling soft for the support he got. He kept scrolling and came across a tweet saying something along the lines of "manifesting a skeppy stream tonight with face cam." He noticed 94 replies most of them agreeing with the original post. A few saying they hoped he was taking a break. Zak went and liked the original tweet. He turned his phone off, but it wasn't long before he got notifications of people on twitter posting about how Skeppy was finally active.

With a sign he opened a new tweet, knowing it was too late to take it back and just disappear again. He started to type "stream tonight @/skeppylive on twitch" he pressed tweet and watched his mentions blow up. He saw that Bad liked his tweet and groaned, preparing himself for the lecture he was bound to get.

Like clockwork his phone buzzed, a different pattern than the notification for twitter. He opened his imessage and saw a text from Bad.

You're streaming? I thought you said you were taking a break >:(

Zak laughed a bit at his friends silly emoticons before thinking up a reply.

They want a stream Bad might as well I slept all day anyways

D: are you sure you're up for it

I am :) you wanna play on the smp with me?

Sure :)

Hell yeah, imma start in like 20 then. cya <3

Zak threw his phone on his bed and went to his mirror to fix his hair up a tiny bit and finally went to set up his stream before tweeting out the link.