30 Days with Fina

Day 27

30 Days with Fina by JellOfAllTrades
Chapter 27

Fina rolled to the other side of her bed and let out a moan. Suddenly feeling alert, I moved to see if she's awake or in pain and saw her face scrunched up and her eyes still closed.

Holding her cold hand, I gently called her awake to save her from her bad dreams.

"Fina? Fina, gising ka muna."

She moaned and her breathing suddenly became labored. Slightly panicking, I shook her shoulder and kept on calling her gently.

"Fina?"

Her eyes flew open and she took in her surroundings as her breathing started to calm down.

"You okay?" I asked, holding her cheek. "Bad dream?"

Fina nodded and held my hand, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. "Iniwan mo daw ako tapos hinabol kita."

"Oh, Fina." I sat beside her and she moved her head to my lap, hugging me. "Andito pa ako. I'm not leaving."

She held my hand and played with my fingers. "Wag muna," She whispered.

"Hindi pa nga," I cooed, brushing her hair away from her face using my other hand.

We stayed like that for a few more minutes until I noticed that Fina's breathing has slowed down and she has stopped playing with my fingers. A smile formed on my lips as Fina slept on my lap.

Later that afternoon, Fina walked around the room saying she needs the exercise. And so I became her human cane as she held on to my arms tightly, taking slow steps. When the nurse came in to check on Fina, she smiled at us.

"Lumalakas na ang pasyente ko ah?" She mused.

"Para makalabas na ako, ate Rochel." Fina answered.

"Actually, pwede ka namang lumabas. May playground naman tong hospital na pwede ninyong puntahan para mas makalakad ka." The nurse suggested. "Pero pwede din namang mag-wheel chair ka muna para di ka mahirapan."

Fina turned towards me and I saw the sparkle in her eyes.

"What?" I asked dumbly, slightly staring at Fina's excited eyes.

"Labas tayo?" Fina said cheerfully that I almost thought she's healthy.

"Kaya mo ba?" I asked to make sure. "Wheelchair ka na muna para di ka mapagod."

"Lakad na lang tayo."

"Sigurado kang kaya mo?"

"Buhatin mo na lang ako pabalik pag di ko kinaya." Fina chuckled. "Malakas ka naman eh."

"Asus, gusto pang magpabuhat. Dala na tayong wheelchair."

"Eh, ayoko nga." Fina argued, pouting those pale lips at me.

"Sigurado kang kaya mo?" I repeated.

"Oo nga,"

I let out a sigh and smile at the nurse. "San po yung playground?"

So, after thirty minutes of shuffling, slow-paced walking, and a lot of joking, Fina and I stopped in front of the deserted hospital playground.

"This is the most depressing playground I've ever seen," I commented as we cross the courtyard to the swings.

"Ano bang inaasahan mo eh nasa ospital ka,"

"Good point." I nodded. "Nasanay lang kasi ako na madaming tumatakbong bata sa playground sa tabing dagat."

Fina let out a sigh. "Namimiss ko na yung dagat."

"You'll see it again. Anjan lang yun eh, di naman aalis."

We reached the swings and I let Fina sit down. "Gusto mong itulak kita?"

She shook her head. "Baka mahulog ako, mahirap na."

"I'll catch you naman if you fall eh." I murmur and she turned towards me, her eyebrows raised.

"Anong sabi mo?"

"Wala,"

"May sinabi ka eh!" She argued, pulling me closer to her and shaking my shoulders. "Ano yung sinabi mo?"

"Wala nga sabi eh," I avoided her and laughed as she pouted at me. "Wag kang ngumuso, sinasabi ko sayo hahalikan kita!"

It was late when I realized what I had said and we both stopped laughing, the smiles on our faces wiped away by awkwardness.

"Okay, joke lang yun." I excused.

"Palagi mo bang sinasabi yan sa mga girlfriends mo sa Manila?" She asked and I sat down on the swing beside her.

"Depende sa mood ko," I confessed. "Minsan kasi hinahalikan ko kaagad sila eh."

"Oh," Was all she could say.

We were silent for a minute as we ran out of topic to talk about. I could, of course, talk about my life in Manila but I don't really want to taint Fina's innocence so I shut my mouth and looked away from her.

"Jell?" Fina called my attention and I turned towards her.

"Yeah?"

"M-masarap ba?" She shyly asked, her cheeks flushing a pale pink on her pale skin.

"Ang alin?"

"Yung kiss," She bowed her head, ashamed of the question.

"Oh," I blinked, unsure how to explain. "Masarap, I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"Wala ka pa bang first kiss?" I frowned.

She shook her head. "Never pa nga ako nagka-boyfriend, first kiss pa?"

"Malay ko ba kung nanakawan ka na ng halik dati?" I chuckle to lighten up the awkward mood.

"Bakit ikaw, nanakawan ka na?" Fina challenged.

"Nakanakaw na," I winked at her and burst out laughing at her shocked face.

"Seryoso?"

"Sabi ko naman sayo wild ako sa Manila eh."

"Parang hindi naman eh," I heard her whisper.

"Ayaw pang maniwala." I purse my lips.

"Ang bait mo kasi sakin na minsan I doubt your stories about what you do in Manila."

We were silent again as she pushed herself on the swing. I watched her closely, ready to catch her if she would ever fall.

Fina smiled at me as she went higher and higher on the swing, her hair flying behind her like a black curtain in the wind.

"Ayaw mo?" She asked me as I sat still on my swing.

"Binabantayan lang kita,"

"Okay, bahala ka." She pushed herself higher and chuckled at the wind.

I smiled at her, happy to see her happy.

Fina pushed herself until she got tired and just looked up at the sky as her swing slowed down. I looked up too and saw the white fluffy clouds drifting in the blue sky.

"Jell," Fina called me, still looking up.

"Yeah?"

"Sa tingin mo ba magkakafirst kiss pa ako?"

"Oo naman,"

"Kelan kaya?"

"Pag ready ka na," I answer.

"Ready naman na ako eh," She sadly said, her swing halting to a stop.

"Wag ka magmadali, darating din yan." I said, looking at her.

She let out a sigh, looking down at her hands on her lap. "Minsan kasi naiisip ko kung magagawa ko pa ba yung mga normal na bagay na nagagawa niyo."

"You'll get your first kiss, don't worry about it." I approach her and knelt in front of her, taking her hands in mine. "Mararanasan mo whatever it is that you want to experience. I'll make sure of it."

She blinked, staring down at me and I gave her a hopeful smile.

"Jell," She whispered, holding my cheeks. "Pag naghihingalo na ako and you're absolutely sure hindi ko makukuha yung first kiss ko, will you kiss me?"

I blinked, surprised at her request.

"Just in case lang naman I don't live long enough to get my first kiss."

"Nonsense," I pout. "You'll get your first kiss. Wag mong pangunahan kasi. Hindi ka pa mamamatay."

I tried to stand up but she held me down and I looked at her questioningly. "Bakit?"

"May naisip lang ako," She shyly said.

"Ano yun?"

Slowly, she moved closer to me and all I can do is close my eyes as our lips touched.

I've kissed a lot of girls and even a few guys before but never have I felt like the world stopped just then. When she pulled away I let out a breath that I didn't know that I've been holding, I felt like my guts had turned into jelly.

"S-sorry," She murmured, our noses an inch apart.

I don't know what made me do that, maybe I've always wanted to do it and her doing the first move encouraged me to finally make mine but I held Fina's face and kissed her again. She was surprised at first but soon enough she started to respond to my kisses and it felt like the whole zoo is rampaging in my stomach.

Fina's lips are feathery soft and I didn't even feel her coldness because it felt like I was burning up the whole time. When she pulled away we were both out of breaths and I felt a pang of slight guilt for that.

She held me close, our eyes staring at each other and slowly she teared up.

"Fina--" I started but she hugged me tight and I thought better of it and shut up, hugging her back.

She sobbed lightly and I felt guilty for kissing her. But I don't regret doing it. Why would I? It was the best kiss I've ever had and that's saying something since I've kissed a lot of people already.

"Fina, bakit ka umiiyak?" I asked when she pulled away and wiped away her tears.

"Ewan ko," She said and then broke into a bitter laugh. "Grabe, ganun pala yung feeling."

I grinned, feeling elated. Fina, on the other hand, saw and pinched my nose.

"Baka tumaas na naman ego mo," She said, pinching harder.

"Aray ko!" I objected, pulling her hand away. "Masakit yun ha!"

"Ngiti ngiti ka pa eh!" She pouted.

Quickly, I snatched a kiss and she stared at me, shocked.

"Sabi ko wag kang lumabi, hahalikan kita." I winked at her.

"JELLANE!" She tried to strangle me but I ran away, laughing. And I've never felt so happy.

When we got tired of playing in the swings, I escorted her to the bench where she leaned on my shoulder and played with my relatively larger hands.

I was looking up at the clouds when I felt she inserted a ring on my pinky finger. When I looked down on her, I found my old ring back to where it used to be.

"Can you hold on to this for a while?" Fina said, playing with my fingers.

"Bakit naman?"

"Just for now. Hangga't di ako nakakalabas ng hospital."

"Pero sayo to," I looked at her.

"Babawiin ko din and my goal is to get it back when I get out of here. Hawakan mo lang muna."

"Okay, fine."

After a minute of silence, she entwined her hands on mine and gave it a squeeze.

"Can you promise me something?" Fina asked, looking up at me.

"Sure," I smiled. "Anything for you."

"When I die, bawiin mo sakin yung singsing and give it to the next person you'll love."

"Don't say that. Hindi ka pa mamatay." I frowned at her.

"Wala akong sinasabing mamamatay na ako." She chuckled, twisting the ring on my hand. "Ang sinasabi ko, pag namatay na ako."

"I don't want you to die." I softly said.

"Mamamatay din tayong lahat." She replied, snuggling my neck. "So, will you promise me that?"

"If I promise that, it'll be like I'm accepting the fact that you're dying."

"Wag kang sinungaling. We all know na mauuna ako."

We were silent again as I thought about it.

"Please, Jell?"

"I'm not sure."

"Do this for me."

"I'm not sure I want to do it. I gave you my ring, I don't want to take it back and give it to somebody else when you die."

"Parang sinabi mo na rin na hindi ka magmomove on sakin."

I stared at her, surprised at her words.

"If you won't promise me, parang sinabi mo na rin sakin na titigil ang mundo mo pag nawala na ako." She continued. "Pero ayoko nun, Jell. Gusto ko ipagpatuloy mo ang buhay mo with or without me."

She gave my hand another squeeze and finally conceded. With a nod, I said. "Okay, fine. I promise."

"Good." And she kissed me on the cheek.