PERFECT FLAWS

A flawed kind of perfect

I was back in the waiting room where Carol sat, couched and looking exhausted, after all the excitement from the performance slowly wore off. She looked at me with tired, questioning eyes. Her mask was off this time, lying on the small glass table in front of her. I knew the question that was coming, but still dreaded it regardless.
It came direct, pressing, requiring an answer I wasn't sure I was ready to give.

'Where have you been?' Carol sat up, her eyes still fixed on me like I was her favourite TV show. I tried to meet her gaze head-on but gave up. Staring was like a battle of will, a battle I haven't been trained for. I barely lasted ten seconds before I looked away. I knew I had to answer her. Hopefully I wouldn't have to lie. And even more hopefully, She wouldn't be able to detect it.

'I was at the grand hall. ' Thankfully, my eye didn't twitch. 'Meanwhile, You did amazing, I don't think I'd ever seen you that... energetic...and happy. ' I smiled at her. As much as that was meant to be a diversion to take her attention from her questioning my whereabouts, it was also a heartfelt, genuine compliment.

More of a genuine compliment than a diversion, actually.

It didn't take long for her to mirror my expression. Her pink lips hidden behind bright red lipstick widened into a smile. A smile which slowly diminished as her eyes grew wistful. She opened her mouth to speak then like she changed her mind, closed it again.

'The stage is like... my home. It's the only place I can really... be allowed to be me, you know. ' She looked away towards entrance.

I nodded, not really sure if I was supposed to say anything. I took a seat on the sofa, next to her.

'Thank You. ' Carol suddenly said, facing me this time.

I chuckled. 'For what? I haven't done anything spectacular. '

'Maybe not. But to me, everything you've done has been somehow spectacular.'
A shadow of a smile still lingered on her lips, still gazing up at me like I was some sort of saviour.

She continued.
'Since I can remember, I'd always yearned for...for someone to see me beyond my... condition. ' She gestured at her skin.

I stared at her, listening intently to her words, both spoken and unspoken.

'The people around me were either there because they were obliged to or because they merely pitied me and probably gained something from me, ' she looked down at her fingers intertwined on her laps, in an attempt to hide the sadness creeping into her eyes. She didn't know I had already gotten a glimpse of it, mere seconds before she looked away. ' and when they were done with me or were unable to put up with me or rather, with how I looked any longer, they just...walked away. ' She exhaled a shaky breath, like she'd been holding it for too long.

'I'd gotten used to it, you know. ' She turned to face me again with a wary, wavering smile. 'I'd gotten used to being alone, with a few waltzing in and out of my life like I was a departmental store. '

'The you just...came, acting like a knight in shining armour though you clearly don't look like one, no offense. ' Carol snickered.

'Yeah, right. ' I huffed, looked down at my slender, almost feminine fingers.
First Mercy and now, Carol?

What's with people and my body size today?

'But that wasn't what mattered, you know. Whether you had muscles or not. ' Carol's usually strong voice grew soft.
'It was your heart. I tried to ignore it. Fight, it even. I tried to push you away, telling myself you'd leave like everyone else. But you still lingered. And you're still here. '

Tension hung heavy in the air. I wasn't sure why or how, but I felt it. The way I felt my heart beating rapidly and heavily against my ribcage.
At the same time, a feeling of warmth started to spread in my chest. It was a calm feeling, like the feeling when you take a hot beverage on a cold, rainy evening. It was soothing, almost caressing. Then it was tugging. Tugging at a part of my heart I thought belonged to someone else.

I was still out of words, though I knew I needed to say something. Carol's blue eyes seemed to glow and I noticed she was looking at me... different. I couldn't quite explain how, but it made her entire being glow.

It made her look more beautiful.

'And I'm not leaving anytime soon. ' I finally said, or rather, whispered. My voice seemed to have taken leave of me for reasons I didn't know. Maybe it was the intensity of Carol's gaze, or the small, yet alluring smile that seemed to linger on her lips more often when I'm around her. Maybe it was her deep, calming voice that had probably made mine cower, wether in reverence or timidity, I couldn't decipher.

'I'd always be here for you... even when I don't want to, or...when I can't, I'd always find a way. ' Slowly, I reached for her hands, interlocking them with mine. I didn't know why, but I did. She'd taken off her gloves and her hands felt cold and soft. I examined her mismatched skin with mine. Somehow, it felt right. They felt perfect. They looked perfect. So perfect that I didn't know when I said it.

'What's perfect?' She chuckled, looking down at our interlocked hands, then back at me.

'You. ' I whispered. 'You're perfect. '

She scoffed. 'Flawed, you mean. That seems to be a more fitting description. Like a mutation gone wrong or a mistake in my gene or something. '

'You're a flawed kind of perfection then.' I said, with my gaze fixed on her, this time unwavering. My eyes didn't twitch because it was the truth.

I released her hands, although grudgingly. The warm feeling was spreading all over me and it was spreading faster with Carol's hand in mine. It was also getting a little hard to breathe and once again, I didn't know why.

She wasn't the only one who had a story.
Carol had an effect on me, like alcohol. Or a more addictive addiction, whatever that means. She had intrigued me and terrified me, all at first sight. She was like an enigma, a mystery I wanted to unravel. Or maybe a puzzle, because she was broken. Or maybe I was the broken one. Maybe we both were, who knows? Instinctively, I wanted to protect her, to be there for her, though I didn't know why at first. But now I think I do.

Because she was special. Different. Not because of her skin but more of who she was on the inside. I wanted her to be safe from those who wouldn't hesitate to feast on her insecurities. It seemed impossible, because Ironically, I needed protecting myself. Maybe I hadn't succeed, but I had tried.

And I won't stop trying.

'Perfect flaws.' Carol mused. 'Ironic, but...I think I like it.'

Then there was that smile again. That smile that slowly weaved it's way into the darkest part of my heart and like a light, illuminated everything around it.

Carol stood up, her eyes lazily looking around, but in a way avoiding me. I found it quite funny. The same eyes that subdued me earlier avoided me now. She walked towards the dresser, staring at the mirror.

Suddenly, her eyes went wide.

'The office!' She gasped. Apparently, she'd remembered when she spotted it from the mirror.
My eyes, closely followed by my feet, went towards the door we had picked earlier but somehow totally forgot about the search we'd planned to carry out after Carol's performance.

'Is there still time?' Carol asked me.

The concert should be coming to an end by now.
'Ten minutes, or less. ' I sighed.

'Should we still...' Her voice trailed off, her eyes gesturing towards the door. I honestly didn't know if it was a good idea. But at that moment, the memories invaded my mind, as if giving me reasons to go on. It was a risk I was willing to take.

A risk that could lead to possible expulsion for Carol and I, if discovered by school authorities. I didn't want to drag her into this, but her eyes said something different.

'Well... Let's this. ' My voice was intended to sound brave and confident, but it came out as an embarrassing squeak.

Oh well, let's just get on with it.

With shaky hands, I turned the door knob, stepping into the room with Carol following closely after me.

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Word count: 1457 words