If he only had a choice

Anticipation

Lolas POV:
He's avoiding me what a coward. I don't know why I'm surprised I mean he's Draco Malfoy, he's a death eater and he's probably telling he who must not be named my name and whereabouts at this very instant.I thought I saw him this morning in the halls, I could have sworn I saw his hair glisten in the light of the halls, but he wasn't there when I looked. He's so horrible, all I want to do is let him know how much he hurts me and tell him that He's a coward for walking away from anything good in his life. He's afraid of anything good. Honestly I guess I can't blame him. He's grown up without love and care, except his mother he always spoke highly of her always coming to her defence. Knowing this I can't help but pity him but I still hate him. I hate the way he's so afraid to take chances to make his own choices. Why did he kiss me? Was he trying to assert his dominance? Is this a weird thing death eaters do ? A kiss of death? Even if it was I know he felt what I felt, there was a spark and for a moment all my fears disappeared I know his did too.Maybe that's why he ran away, he was afraid of how I made him feel that way. Honestly it scared me too.

I don't want him to think I hate him. I may say and think that I do but I don't hate him. I hate who he pretends to be, I hate the broken man he has become over these years and I know he does too.If he would just give life one more chance, if he let me in I could help him.
What an I saying? Help him! He hates me he's going to kill me and my brother in this war, I just wonder if he will hesitate.

Somethings wrong with him lately, I know I keep saying this but it's different the past few days, like he's got some big secret eating him up inside. I can sense it.

Smack! "Shit ow" I squeal as I hit the ground. I look up to see who hit me and see no other than Harry. "Lola where have you been?! I've been looking for you all day! You need to tell me what's going on, does Voldemort know about you does he know yet Lola?"Harry whisper yells at me in the silent echoing halls helping me up to my feet.
" calm down Harry I can't understand you when you ramble like that!" I can feel my blood boiling at the thought of he who must not be named's name. before he can chat back I answer his question. "Look I don't know, I haven't heard anything about it for a few days, we should just keep a low profile like I normally do everything's okay Harry I've got his under control" I say soft and unconvincingly.
"are you mad Lola" he chuffs, " keeping quite is no use now! They are already onto us it's only a matter of when they attack. You can't just pretend this isn't happening the war is almost here. Look Lola I know you find it hard to fight and refuse to do so, but Dumbledores right, you need to control your powers and learn to fight again , I can't do this without you, you can't protect us with just your potions anymore".He spits with a sense of worry in his eye.
I can't seem to find the right words, I know he's right but I don't want him to be, all of me wants to fight him on this, but if he does in a fight because I couldn't defend him I'll never forgive myself.
So I mutter a simple, " fine I'll do it for you Harry".
"Do it for yourself too Lola, stay safe I'll talk with you again in a few days when it's safe, see you later sis, love you." He whispers and walks away looking around with caution.
I head in the other direction "love you too bro " I murmur under my breath.