That Isn't a Flesh Wound

You know, The Whole Being Dead Thing?

"Okay, so, my day started off pretty bad. I'm not going to lie about that." Izuku started, rolling off the balls of his feet to basically sway on his feet while talking. "At school, it was the normal round of bullying and ignoring by other classmates. A bully told me to jump off the roof-"

Katsuki winced as his parents and Aunt Inko took notice of that immediately.

Inko questioned, "What do you mean? Katsuki, why weren't you helping him out?"

"Because I'm the one who did it," Katsuki admitted, bowing his head.

"Ex-fucking-cuse me?!" Mitsuki screamed.

"Dude, you weren't supposed to tell them!" Izuku commented.

"What?!" Mitsuki yelled, turning to her son with furious eyes while Inko looked worried.

"Okay, wait, Auntie before you commit homicide in my honor I need to tell you that I KNOW that he didn't mean his threat." Izuku retorted.

Mitsuki interjected, "What the fuck do you mean? This brat told you to-,"

"Trust me. I know when Kacchan is faking his threats and when he is being serious. He threats he told to his groupies were more real than the ones he threw at me. I could tell he was bluffing from the look on his face." Izuku explained.

"How can you be so sure?" Masaru asked.

Izuku waved their worries off gently, "I know Kacchan and the way he works. He has major anger issues that are worth looking into, so maybe check on some anger management classes in the future."

"Hey! I'm right here." Katsuki complained.

"Yeah, I know. Now shut up, I'm talking. I'm also guessing that you might have a sort of superiority complex from the way you act towards me." Izuku shook his head when he noticed he got off-topic, "But besides the point, I know he didn't truly mean the words he said. True, his words may have hurt me, but his words weren't the reason I did what I did. So please wait until the end of my story."

"Okay, kid. But brat, we are going to have a serious talk later and how we can improve this situation." Mitsuki said, punching her kid lightly on the shoulder.

"Okay, anyway, on the way back home I ran into the sludge villain. Almost got choked out by his gross ass tentacles making me feel like I'm in a freaking tentacle hen-."

"Izuku." Inko raised a brow at her son's description.

"Oh right. So I'm basically choking on sludge tentacles for a good 40 seconds before All Might comes out of nowhere and boasts the villains into smithereens. I come back to my senses because All Might is just slapping me in the face to wake me up."

"That doesn't sound very efficient.." Masaru commented.

"So long story short, I ended up fanboying over his autograph and then hopping on his leg to take a flight over the city," Izuku added.

"You did what?!" Mitsuki questioned worriedly.

"Relax! He wasn't going to drop me-well he was about to push me off before I reminded him I could die. And so we landed on the roof. I began to fanboy yet again before asking if I could become a hero without a quirk." Izuku paused for dramatic effect." You know what he told me? Go on! Guess!"

Masaru looked around before softly guessing, "Did he say n-,"

"THAT BITCH SAID NO!" Izuku yelled out before composing himself. "Sorry again, mom. Anyway, he goes onto say that he got severely hurt multiple times in his work even with the powerful quirk he has, so how could I even compete? He jus5 said to become a hero in my own lane with a job as a police or a firefighter."