𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌; 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧

➝ ⁿⁱⁿᵉᵗᵉᵉⁿ

⊰ 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅 ⊱

alright, its time for some full on chase honesty.
i didn't just sleep with noen because i wanted to. it was because i wanted him to stay away from anthony as well.
i really want anthony to fully heal before he gets into anything that can hurt him again.
and now, i guess i've grown attached to noen.
i can't say i love him because i truly don't know the feeling of being in love but i guessing knowing that he trusts me with him, and his body and everything in between really makes me- happy
yeah.
it makes me happy knowing that he can trust me.
i really hope he feels the same, i really hope he'll say yes.
i know i was an asshole but i really just want him to know that he makes me comfort.
that he's-
kissing anthony.
i walked over to the lockers, and saw him kissing anthony.
my heart shatter.
when he looked over, noen immediately saw me and his eyes widened.
"how could you?" i mumbled.
"chase-"
"how could you!" i said a bit louder.
anthony looked at us both a bit confused.
"chase. we talked about this." noen said.
"yeah we talked about it but i never thought you would actually go through with this." chase said.
"well i did. deal with it." he said.
i tried to control myself but the emotion just filled my veins, and i was incapable.
so i punched him.
i regretted it immediately after.
i saw noen on the ground with tears in his eyes and a bleeding nose, looking up at me. 
my eyes widened.
what the fuck did i just do?
"noen, i'm so sorry i- i'm- i just- i can't-" i started.
i looked around to see everyone starring at me and mumbling.
anthony kneeling down next to noen trying to help him along with the rest of the guys. 
my anxiety started to shake.
"what's your deal man?" griffin said, looking up at me.
"i'm gonna. go." i said, turning around and heading back to the room.
i just did that. i just fucking did that. 
AGAIN.
i get angry and i can't control my fucking hands!
if he didn't like me before, he definitely doesn't now. 
i can't believe i just fucking hit him.
i have never felt so guilty, embarrassed and anxious in my entire life.
i need to apologize, i need to fix this.
i can't believe i hurt him.
that sweet little thing didn't even do anything wrong, and i hit him.
i guess i was so worried about anthony getting his heart broken that i broke mine..
my poor baby.
cuddle with me, or flirt with me, or anything ever again. 
and its my fault.
noen deserves much better then that.
and i know anthony can be better-
but it just pisses me off so terribly to think of them together!
noen's mine, i'm supposed to be kissing like that!
this is bullshit.
i love anthony, but he took something that wasn't his and i want it back.

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shits about to goooo downnnn you haven't had a CLUE.