𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌; 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧

➝ ᵗʰⁱʳᵗʸ⁻ᵉⁱᵍʰᵗ

⊰ 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅 ⊱

the rest of that summer?
sucked.
the group lost its light.
anthony attempted for the first in a while. he's okay, but that's not the point.
i threw away the listen and noen and i didn't do any of the things we planned.
i neglected lefty.
i neglected noen.
i neglected everyone.
i even made noen scared of me.
all he wanted to do was help me, and whenever he tried i lashed out at him and told him to fuck off.
great, not only do i have emotion issues, but everyone i love is distancing themselves from me and i'm crippling with depression.
ugh.
school starts up again tomorrow.
i'm not ready.
time to start staying up all night, cry because i can figure out the homework, beat the shit out of people and fucking loose my mind as whole.
i don't need this slow as reformatory school, i need my sister and a therapist.
but if it wasn't for this school i would have met my baby.
even though noen isn't my boyfriend, i still love him.
yeah, i know.
pathetic.
the kid who didn't believe in love caught feelings for someone who doesn't care.
but you know what?
two years from now i'll be out of this.
in two years, i'll graduate and all my problems will be gone.
no more noen, or school, or mental issues or anything.
it'll be just fine. 
i'll be just fine. 

⊰ 𝙽𝚘𝚎𝚗'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅 ⊱

hey.
can you guess what today is?
first day of junior year!
this is going to be great, soon i'll be out of here!
soon we'll all be out of here!
i miss jaden.
but i'm going to make it out of here and make him proud!
i know he's watching us from up above, he believes in us and he knows we're going to do our best.
the others aren't doing great without him, but i understand.
they knew him longer, they connected with him much more then i did.
their having a harder time keeping a good mindset about things, but i know they'll get into it soon enough.
besides, jaden would want us to think happy thoughts.
like don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to get them to stop grieving about it.
they can grieve as long as they need, i'll be here with water and hugs if they need it.
but i just want them to have a good mindset through all of this.
we're starting another stressful school year, and we just lost our friend and i just want them to know no matter what happens jaden will always be with us.
i know he's still mourning, but chase been really scary lately.
he doesn't want to talk.
or watch movies together.
or even have sex.
he just lashes out and attacks me with words all the time.
he doesn't even smiled that bright grin he gives off when he's happy.
he's so sad now.
all he ever does is yell and write.
even lefty is scared.
but i don't want to say anything because if i do he might get upset.
i don't wanna make him more upset. 
i wanna support him.
he just needs some more time.
maybe i can do something nice for him?
i got it!
i'll get up earlier and get him breakfast.
then i'll let lefty lick his face to wake him up!
that would make me pretty happy, maybe that'll start off his day well!
i got out of bed at 5:30 and got him some waffles with an orange juice.
at 6:30 i got lefty and put him on chase's chest.
he started to like his face.
chase twitched a bit before his eyes opened.
"what the-?" he asked. 
"good morning." i smiled.
"morning. and hello to you too lefty." he said, picking up lefty and sitting up.
"i got you breakfast." i said, pointing to the food box on his desk.
"thank you." he said.
he seemed pretty calm.
success!
"i'm gonna take a shower and get ready before i eat. take the baby." chase said, getting up i grabbed lefty and put him on my pillow, putting my hand up.
"good job, high five." i said.
he raised his paw and put it on my hand, barking at me.
yeah, i taught him to give high fives.
"good boy, don't tell daddy but you can have a treat for breakfast." i said, going into the small bag under my bed and giving him a dog treat.
"daddy heard that." chase said from the bathroom.
"oops!" i said.
today is going to be a good day, i can feel it!