Rules to Feeling Lonely

Chapter 1

Ever since I was young I had always believed that in order to feel lonely, you had to be  alone. Isolated from others. Trapped with no one but yourself.

Sadly enough, it had taken me quite some years to realize that that couldn't be further from the truth. Now I knew. You don't need to be alone in order to feel lonely.

Laughter made my eyes snap up. Then a voice. "She's such a whore"
I sighed as Ashley shook her head, my fingers reaching out to my temples. Here we fucking go again.

"I can't believe Jeremy hasn't dumped her ass yet", another one of the girls chirped in. I closed the little black book in my lap and looked at the group of girls that stood a few feet away from me, their scrutinizing eyes glaring at a girl down the hall.
Ashley stood in the middle of them, tall and confident. She was one of those girl, where I knew from my very first day, that she had belonged with the popular kids.

"I really don't understand what he sees in her", she said, frowning her brows as she turned back to the group of girls. "She's not even that pretty"

Nodding, her friends seemed to agree with the tall blond.

There were many things I hated about high school, but this, was by far the worst. The level of judging and belittlements that worked its way through the hallways on a daily basis, never failed to baffle me.

"What the hell are you looking at?"

I jerked out of my thoughts, my stomach turning as I noticed the icy blue glare that had found its focus on me. Now this, this is just great.

Perfect. Fucking splendid. Exactly what I needed...

I gulped down the lump in my throat, my nails digging in my palms as I plastered on a smile. Just smile.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to", I said.

Her eyes assessed me for a few seconds. One brow raised, then lowered again before a bored sigh slipped from her lips.

"Whatever. Let's go"

I breathed out as she turned her back to me. The girl reeked of drama, and I planned to stay the hell away from it.

"Who even is that?" one of the girls muttered and Ashley shrugged, her reply barely reaching me as she strut away.

"Don't care"

And then I was alone again, my shoulders relaxing. I reached out for the little book again, eyes drifting over the fine black lines of the page.

Truth is, no one actually likes being alone. Some have just gotten more used to it than others. And some have gotten so used to it, they don't know any better.

Great. Now I've made myself sad again.

Pushing of the heavy feeling in my chest, I reached for the buzzing phone in my pocket. I dragged my finger over the cracked screen, my glare harsh and cold as I stared at the caller ID. For the third time today, I instantly pressed the decline button. Not fucking today, satan.

"Uhm"

I looked up, this time a friendlier face greeting me.

"First of all. Why are you sitting here during lunch when you could be sitting with friends in the cafeteria?" my cousin asked, frowning as she assessed me on the side of the stairs. "And second. Why did I just witness Ashley yelling at you, and you, doing nothing about it?"

"I didn't let her yell at me. I avoided unnecessary drama", I said. "There's a difference"

"And why are you here and not in the cafeteria?"