Rules to Feeling Lonely

Chapter 36

So eventually Sarah and Sophia did manage to convince me to come to the camping trip but that didn't take away all the bad things that had been happening. I had felt like absolute shit these last couple of days. The rumor that went through the whole school, people constantly giving me a pitiful look and my friends that tried to act normal but I could feel the pity even from them, like I was some delicate thing bound to break at any minute. And then I haven't even started about how this completely fucked things up with Daniel. We hadn't talked anymore and neither of us seemed really ready to approach the other.

I missed him though but a part of me still didn't believe him and I really felt awful for that...

But I guess I've gotta give a little more context then that.

Tuesday

"Is it true?" Sarah asked and I felt my shoulders tense, already scared of the answer to my next question.

"Is what true?"

She diverted her gaze to all the people around us listening in and took my hand, guiding me out of the hallway. She walked us into an empty classroom and closed the door before turning back to me. A sigh escaped from her as she turned her body my way "There's a rumor going around"

What could possibly be going around for her to act like that?

"What rumor?" I pushed, wanting her to just spill it.

"About the hospital", she spoke as she nervously played with her fingers and my brows furrowed down. I had a feeling I already knew...

"Sarah, just spill", I impatiently told her and she looked down as she spoke her next words "That you were sent to a mental institution".

As she said that I felt all the color drain from my face. No... After I thought I could finally let that situation go, it comes back to haunt me.

But it's not possible, no one knows. No one is supposed to know th-

My nails pushed into my palms as I felt all the color drain from my complexion.

Except for Daniel... I had told Daniel.

"Is it true?" she looked up but I guess she saw the answer as tears had appeared in my eyes.

"Oh god, why didn't you tell us?" she came towards me and pulled me in for a hug. I didn't just cry because now everyone knew but because that's probably how people will be going to see me now. A crazy and weak little girl...

But the worst thing was that I felt betrayed...

"Don't worry, we will get through this", she whispered in my ear and it made the tears finally flow out of my eyes. We will get through this...

"I'm okay, really", I pulled back and put on a smile. It might still be a scar I carry with me but the wound has healed and I'm not going to let that pain stop me again from living my life.

"Let's go", I told her and she instantly took my hand, giving it a squeeze before we stepped outside. Knowing what the stares where for honestly made it feel even worse. This is why I never told anyone. Those looks are what makes this worse. I don't want to be treated differently.

Rachel and Sophia quickly ran our way as they saw us, partly shielding me off from the crowd.

"Are you alright?" Rachel asked and I nodded, grateful for these friends. I couldn't imagine this without them.

"I'm fine, I just want everyone to drop it", I told her, looking at the crowd but my eyes found Daniel instead.

The only thing was that I wasn't sure if I wanted to run to him for comfort or yell at him because he is the only one who knows. The whispers reminded me again he was the only one that knows...