MUD - An LGBT+ Story

Swap

The chat on the geography table has been friendly if nothing as deep as who was the maturest, I would say he is kind of a friend, we occasionally talk in class, at least it's not awkward. I let Claire know when there are free computers in the library which she appreciates and still don't know why Jen thinks this is some sort of big deal. In general Year 8 is progressing painfully slowly, we are only at the end of November and the end of the year feels a lifetime away. My grades are fine, nothing standout but also nothing to be concerned about, incidentally the art teacher was not impressed with my collage as it didn't represent myself enough but I'll accept a D, I got the feeling Mr Kelly didn't really like me anyway, but I could be wrong.

It's Wednesday morning sitting in form hoping nothing stressful would happen as I was fixed looking at the weather outside in preparation for the next horrific experience in Games. The clouds were making the day feel even more depressing, there is drizzle in the air and it was cold which meant the pitch would be muddy, the best I could hope for was a monsoon in the next 10 minutes so we could go inside. In the changing room we had created an unspoken rule defining our usual places to get changed, my spot was near the entrance next to Steve who was on my left and Andy and James on my right, it was the best option any further into the changing rooms and it was the territory of the boys who wanted to actually do games and the level of rowdiness and boisterous behaviour increased, maybe this is because they don't have any more that two brain cells between them. The second changing room area through the archway was where He would always get changed it could be to look cool being part of this group or something, from sitting on the same table in geography I was sure He would get on with my friends, anyway it was up to Him.

A few more minutes of form was my way of trying to delay the inevitable "Hey ready to get muddy" It was John being loud and annoying as ever "we might be inside" I was just wasting my breath to be honest "No we will be out in the cold and rain and I'm going to tackle you so you go flat in the mud" said in the most irritable tone and shouting as John walked over to the other side of the form room to his seat. I just thought to myself well if I'm not going to be anywhere near the ball so there's no point in tackling me. The bell went and the hope drained from my soul, picked up my heavy bag and followed everyone around to the changing room staying away from John. I trudge slowly to the changing room through the light annoying drizzle and thankfully the door was open so we didn't have to wait outside and Steve, Andy and James was already in the changing room. As I approached John was in my usual spot! "no room here go somewhere else" he laughed sarcastically, I said nothing but felt sick with anger and frustration how could someone be so annoying? what have I done to him? And what a perfect start to a day I hate anyway. This made me panic trying to look for another spot further in the first changing room area, going deeper into the room felt like Games was swallowing me and there was no escape, thankfully there was a place free at the end of the benches before the archway and put down my bag. Not being next to my friends was unsettling and felt sad, the only advantage that it wasn't a bad place being further way from the cold entrance and thought guess things can't always stay the same. Started to get changed as quickly as possible and wondered if Steve, Andy or James would've joined me if they hadn't already started to get changed or if they didn't mind John being there? Thinking of this passed the time and finished tying my football boots and was ready, unfortunately. Mr Malcolm shouted in a no nonsense way "OKAY today head to the first rugby pitch someone collect the rugby balls, let's go!" We headed out to the pitch, the rest of the boys were loud and excitable, thankfully I caught up with my friends and walked with them even though John was circling like a vulture. The cold was noticeable and the drizzle was still continuing, after some quite pathetic attempts of rugby throws and catches it was time to divide into two teams, for me the most humiliating ritual of Games each week. Mr Malcolm selected the two boys which had a slight hint of sporting talent and put them in separate teams it was then down to them to select the team by calling out names alternatively. I was familiar with this routine by now they would start off by choosing their mates, incidentally He was always selected pretty early on and I would be the last, not one of the last or penultimate choice but the last! That shameful feeling and embarrassment of not being wanted as I sheepishly joined my team was crushing, however being honest I didn't want to be with them so I guess the feeling was mutual, this time I was on the same side as Him but also John so a mixed result. We dispersed onto the pitch, please don't ask me what the rugby positions are as I wasn't listening and generally took up a spot to one side ensuring I was out of the rugby balls vicinity. The fine drizzly rain was getting in my eyes and the cold air felt vicious on my face and legs, I'm sure harden criminals would crack under this type of torture and would reveal their crimes for it to stop. Looking across the rest of the playing fields it was a huge area and gave the representation of desolation and emptiness an accurate portrayal of my current feelings as my feet began to sink into the mud. I would move in the general direction of the play as the others were getting more and more muddy as if it was a status thing maybe they thought grades were based on how muddy you were, if this was true I would fail, except for my boots I was completely clean and as always this was a proud achievement of mine and the towel in my sports bag has still been untouched since the start of Year 7.

As the match progressed the grass was no longer visible just a mucky brown resembled the pitch, then there was a pause in the play some commotion which meant we all had to group together near Mr Malcom and he explained something about a penalty kick to the opposition and my team had to stand behind the rugby posts, I had no idea what was happening and just squelched through the mud and stood behind the posts with everyone on my team. Keeping my self to myself a small group formed and started chatting and laughing then He approached, He was walking towards me! His top was muddy, shorts was no longer white, His legs were muddy but noticed they were becoming hairy and subconsciously my eyes stayed looking at his legs a split second longer but not enough for it to be noticeable. I started to smile as he neared, then realised the group following behind Him and one member was John, my smile turning into a concerned expression. "Hey" He shouted this wasn't the same welcoming way He talks to me during geography, this was different, He and the group walked closer I started to walk back slowly "Your not muddy!" He continued "swap shirts!" I continued to step backwards as He spoke "Do it! Come on take your top off and swap with me! Then you can be muddy" He was practically right in front of me at this point with the group behind Him and I could hear a few other shouts of yeah swap. My emotions sank as He stood there a friend would never do this to me, why is He doing this? And I certainly don't want to wear someone else's rain soaked, sweaty and filthy sports top! Also I'm not wearing anything underneath my top and I don't want him to see my chest or anyone else to see for that matter "No" I confirmed whilst taking another step back, he step forward to maintain the same close distance between us and took his top off and held it out to me "SWAP" He snapped, I took a breath seeing Him topless in front of me His smooth skin glistening with rain and sweat then my mind snapped back into focus of trying to escape the situation, His other hand had grabbed part of my sleeve, His grip was tight, my throat was burning with nerves and couldn't say anything all I could do was shake my head I felt tears were very close then my eyes flicked to the group behind and noticed John laughing, out of nowhere behind the group I noticed a rugby ball fly past and a few distant cheers, they turned around, He was still looking at me as Mr Malcolm approached "the opposition can take the penalty kick at any time even if you are not ready, we play on, and you" pointing to Him "get your shirt on its not sunbathing weather!" Everyone ran to positions on the pitch, He let go of my sleeve and started to put His top back on, I ran to the far end to be out of the way wiping a tear from my eye hoping I was out of sight as the sadness hit my gut and knew it would be very hard to trust Him from now on.