MUD - An LGBT+ Story

New Route

Looking out of the window as the buildings blurred past whilst the bus meandered its way along the road, the weather had a hint of spring in the air with light white clouds and patches of blue in the sky. Now I go to school on the public bus and why this wasn't thought off before still baffles me as its heaven! The bus stop is about a 10 minute walk from the school building but it's fine compared to the alternative of the school bus. Taking this new route made me aware of the geography of the area, where my home was compared to the school and how far the town centre is, as you are just in a bubble going back and forth on the school bus not taking in everything in relation to one another. Stepping down off the bus I started to walk down the road towards school and my mind began to think of the lessons for the day, Friday means Art, Maths, Science and Drama not a bad end to the week I thought to myself.

"Good morning Year 10! What a great way to start a Friday with Art!" Mr Kelly exuberantly stated whilst unlocking the classroom allowing us to enter and we sat in our usual places, I sat at the end of the bench with Claire next to me along with Andy, Steve, Philip and Him still the day had just started yet his tie was already crooked which amused, its as if that tie had a mind of its own. It was a good bench we were on with a good group of friends "What lesson do you have after this?" Quizzed Mr Kelly and a few of the class replied "Maths" "Oh shame! guess you can't have everything" Mr Kelly joked then turned serious and started to walk around the room "Class can I have your attention I'm going to set your home work at the start today and it is to be handed in the week after Easter, so if you want to leave it and rush on the last day of the holidays then that is up to you, but NOT advisable! I want you come up with your Year 11 project idea thinking about all the techniques we have discussed. What I want from you is a plan, what medium you are going to use, are you going to be creating a painting, sketch or sculpture, what theme you will explore and choose a title for your project also how will it be displayed. You may include concept drawings and additional notes if this helps explain your idea, oh yes and after Easter you will present the idea to the class okay? For the rest of today's class discuss with the others on your workbench various ideas and I will come round and you can ask any question then. Get thinking!" Mr Kelly finished with a clap of his hands in excitement and after a short pause of silence we started chatting.

As a group we started thinking of ideas and what our projects could be, the first one to decide was Philip he wanted to expand on his exclamation mark sculpture from the week away but this time he was going to do question marks a lot of them and paint them in a multitude of colourful designs, which honestly sounded good. I had an idea but didn't want to tell the group just yet and waited to see what Sir thought of it first. As the conversations broke into smaller groups I got talking just with Claire which was good as she explained about her idea "I want to do something that represents a passing of time like going from black and white and merging into colour" Claire had excitement but uncertainty in her voice as I could tell she was still unsure "Sounds like a good idea maybe you could call it Time Warp" I suggested then with a glint in her eye "or just a jump to the left" she laughed picking up on my pop culture reference "I know! Could call your work back to the future it could go from black and white to colour and back to black and white!" I laughed and smiled and Claire was smiling too and then there was a pause as if there was something on her mind "you know umm" she stuttered "well you make me laugh and smile and would you like to go out with me?" Claire spoke softly now as not draw attention to what she was saying, the only person who she wanted to hear her words was me. Surprise struck me thinking of girls in that way had never crossed my mind until now and the thought of going on dates, actual dates was a distant concept. My mind started to process the situation I liked Claire as a friend, a good friend, but as something more like dating and stuff? my mind was confused and unsure, liking someone more than a friend had not entered my though process before now and the fact it hadn't began to upset me and my emotions sank my eyes looked down way from Claire and the smile changed to a forced smile "I'm.. I'm not ready to date anyone just yet" as the words left my mouth my only hope was she would still want to stay my friend "we can hang out in the library during lunch more if you like?" My voice was strained with sadness and nerves in a desperate attempt to try and keep our friendship alive, looking up to Claire I saw the flicker of emotion in her eyes "Its cool, maybe library if we are in there at the same time" the tone from her words crushed me with guilt as I took her response as a polite 'no library is not going to happen.' It felt like I had just fallen into a void and began to question myself why wasn't I interesting in dates?, Why deep down did't I want to go out with Claire?, Why do I just want to be friends?, Why anything more than friends makes me feel uncomfortable? It must've taken a lot of courage for Claire to ask me out and I treat her like this! Just let the floor open up and swallow me now. The presence of someone sitting next to me jolted me out of my void thoughts "Deep in thoughts? So what are you thinking for your project? Any ideas?" It was Mr Kelly speaking over enthusiastically my thoughts had been lost and it took me a few seconds for my mind to reset "I'm.. I have the idea of a graphic comic" my voice was still all over the place and I glanced over to Claire who wasn't looking at me "oh right! That sounds an interesting idea think about the theme though okay?" Mr Kelly advised "Will do, Sir" my emotions were exhausted and it was only the first lesson of the day.