m⃣ e⃣

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I just want to say this is my favourite chapter I wrote so pls love it as much as I do TuT. by that I mean like your firstborn 

Semi was walking back from school, the sun shining in the sky and the birds singing in the background. It was one of those days that felt like honey and lemon was dripping down your throat. One of those really good days that felt like they only existed in movies. One of the good days.

And then there were bad days that felt like nothing mattered. Like you would be better off dead. Like no one would even care. You amounted to nothing. One of those days where being in bed was your favourite part. Tears always pricked your eyes as you couldn't stop them from flowing. 

Today was not a bad day though. Today was a good day. Today was something he could make amazing. Bad days were uncontrollable. 

Semi opened the door to his house and his dad was on the couch, asleep.

Must be a bad day.

Eita grimaced and walked upstairs, ignoring his mom on the phone. He didn't care who she was talking, he wasn't allowed to tell anyone anyways. After she was done though she greeted him warmly. 

"How was school Eita?" She smiled. "Good." He responded. Maybe later he'd go out with some friends. "Lunch'll be ready soon." His mom left the room after that. 

Semi picked up his guitar from the corner and strummed a few notes before starting on a melody he had been composing. It was starting to sound really good actually. He continued humming the song, really getting in the mood to start maybe adding lyrics. 

Then the door opened, revealing his mom frowning. "Semi, I told you to put that away. There's no point learning the guitar."

"But mom... I was kind of hoping I could maybe start taking lessons? I'm tired of just fiddling around with strings."

She sighed and sat down beside Semi on his bed. "Eita, it's such a waste of money. You're studying to be a lawyer anyway, why would you need to learn guitar?" 

"Dad says I sound good. And... I've been thinking about it... I kind of want to be a musician." Semi said, looking up at his mom. Her face twisted into an annoyed expression for a moment before turning back. 

"You're only 12, how do you know what you want to do when you're older? Also, musicians make bad money. If you become a musician, how are you going to support your father and I when we're old and need your help?" 

Semi looked back down. "That's fair I g-guess..." 

Semi's mom ruffled his hair. "That's my boy. Now come downstairs, I have your food on the table." She walked downstairs, Semi following close behind. His dad was already seated at the table, his burger sitting on his plate. 

Semi sat across from his father. 

'bad day?' He mouthed. 

His dad slowly nodded. Semi nodded and took a bite out of his burger while his mom left momentarily before emerging from upstairs again. 

The boy kept eating, eventually finishing and heading upstairs again. 

His guitar was still upstairs, but as he neared he realized something. 

The strings were cut. 

Tears welled up in his eyes as he knew who did this. He ran down to his dad, who was still slumped over his half eaten burger and cried as he explained what happened. Some life seemed to enter him as he saw his son crying. 

He picked himself up and walked upstairs. Semi followed from a distance and listened in behind closed doors.

"Well why did you have to cut the boy's strings?"

"He didn't need it!" His mom hissed. 

"It made him happy!"

"No it didn't he doesn't even really know how to play-"

"I swear to god Chisato you're going to ruin the bo-!" 

 A hard slap echoed through the room as Semi flinched away from the door.

It was silent for a little bit before the sounds of clothes rustling were heard. "I know what's been what's on your mind all day anyways~" His mother purred, his dad not saying anything. 

Soon, footsteps were heard and Eita ran into his room. He looked defeated from what Semi saw. 

He came back a little later and walked into the room, closing and locking the door. 

Throughout the rest of the day, faint cries of pain were heard from his parent's room. Mostly from his mother. Harsh slaps of leather on skin and skin on skin were also filling the air. Semi listened for the noises to stop before quietly slinking out of his room. 

His mother and father were sitting at the table, his mom extra cheerful. "We've settled on the decision about your guitar. You will not be taking lessons ok Eita?" She stated.

His father said nothing. 

Semi nodded and walked back upstairs. 

And just like that, a good day turned into a bad one. He wrapped himself up in his blanket and tried to fall asleep. He never quite could on bad days. 

                                                                               ~

It took Semi longer than it should have to realized what they were doing in their bedroom every time after a fight. It took him even longer to realize his mother was manipulative, constantly using sex and pleasure to sway his father. 

He also knew his dad has a very specific kink that not everyone could accommodate. Sadism. 

It was pretty obvious actually. Every time after an argument, Eita's mom's thighs, neck, and even arms were riddled with deep purple bruises and sometimes shallow cuts.

Maybe that's why he was so easy to change. 

Eventually, Semi got used to the bruises and the late night moaning. In fact he liked them. It was like a show of power, but it was fake. His dad was inflicting the pain, but he was the weakest one in the household. 

His mother, however, had him wrapped around his finger. So it was only natural Semi became a sadist; liking the feeling of choking, hitting, degrading, even cutting his partner sometimes. It's another reason he joined volleyball. The bruising that came with it just felt... so right. 

It also taught him another thing. 

If you want something, you can get it through physical pleasure.

He didn't want to resort to that though. Not for anything common. He didn't want to become a slave to it like his mom.

Only for special occasions. 

He promised himself he would only use pleasure as payment if he absolutely had to. 

Semi only had one issue. 

When was it ok? When would he ever be in a dire enough situation where he needed to sleep with someone for something?

When would he draw the line?

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