• 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐬 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬 • ᴛ.ᴄʜᴀʟᴀᴍᴇᴛ

• 14 •

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@lola.madore: i don't like waiting

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"'And I'd chose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd chose you.'" Logan said as he softly flipped the pages of 'The chaos of stars'. My head resting on his chest as my fingers dancing along his arm. Feeling myself get warmer with every word he read out loud. We had been hanging out everyday after wok for two weeks straight. Never satisfied with how much time we spent with each other. Still craving to be in each other's presence. Just a mere touch of his hand on my skin made me happier. Made me feel better.
As we laid lazily on the grass, the wind blew softly on our faces. Letting the sun shine down on us. Giving us light to be able to read. The clouds weren't visiting the sky today. The sky was perfectly clean——except for a few clouds that were spread across the sky. The signing of the birds on the tall trees around, played in the background. Logan continued reading the book as his arm wrapped around me and held me close. We knew this was very public place and soon people would be talking about it, but we didn't care. We decided that we were just going to continue and be friends but at the same time we knew that wasn't going to happen.
  "You're the best thing that has happened to me." I whisper softly as I felt my body sink into darkness. The best thing that has happened to me after Timothee. But I didn't have to tell him that part. I felt Logan's hand on my face slowly rubbing my cheek. And that's when I decided to let my body go and I sank into the darkness.
  Being pulled in the water by a non visible rope. The rope was wrapped around my wrist...sinking me more into the ocean. All types of creatures swam near me. Terrifying creatures that for some reason didn't seem to scare me. I had gone so deep into the ocean that I was soon seeing the merpeople. They're not like the ones you see in the movies. Not like Ariel. They can be very beautiful—yes. But once they lure you into their world, they drop their masks and well let's say it's not pretty.
"MINERVA I SAW YOU." My father says. His british accent attacking my mother's name. It was like venom straight from his lips. My mom whimpering in the corner that my father had trapped her in. It's always this dream. My parents arguing like if I wasn't there.
I'm finally pulled out of the ocean and sat next to my younger self in the closet. I stare at my pink chipped nails as my younger self wraps her arms around her knees. The dried tears on her cheeks make me remember the bad nights when my father was an alcoholic. I look out in the small little creak my younger self used to look out in.
"John you're delusional." My mother said as she tried to push him and make her way out of the room. Unfortunately, my father caught her arm. He forcefully sat her down on the bed and started screaming.

"YOURE A WORTHLESS SLUT!"
"NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU LIKE I DO."
"IF IT WASNT FOR LOLA I WOULD OF LEFT YOU A LONG TIME A GO."
"I NEVER LOVED YOU."
"YOU DONT DESERVE ME."

The closet doors flew open and my father looked angrily down at me. He huffs as he bends down and reaches for my arm. I shut my eyes tightly. But nothing happens. I open my eyes in shock and remember that this is a memory. My father grabs my younger self like I'm a sack of potatoes and heads for the door.
"NO! JOHN NOT MY DAUGHTER-" My mother instantly gets up from the bed and follows my father around the house trying to catch my younger self.
"YOU SHOULD OF THOUGHT BEFORE CHEATING ON ME." My father yelled as he turned around and shot her dangerous looks. If looks could kill I would not have a mother.
Suddenly, everything stops making me look at my younger self. She stares right back at me as my father drops her slowly. She gets up and slowly walks over to me. Her messy curly hair all over her face. She's grabbing her wrists and has a dreadful look on her face.
"Run." She whispers ever so faintly. I cold barely hear but I knew what she was saying. I look away from her and father is now facing me. His chest rising up and down. My legs felt glued to the floor as I struggled to run away. I couldn't move. My father began to get closer causing me to scream loudly.
I sat up quickly in the dark room. The only source of light was the moon. My hands rested on the bed sheets as I tried to calm my breathing. I looked next to me to admire Logan who had woken up.
"What's wrong?" Logan asked worriedly. Shirtless in his bed next to me. I laid back down and let Logan cuddle me. His arms around me made me feel safe. I felt safe from my father but at the same time I didn't want Logan to be like my father. I tend to get with people who are toxic like my father. But I had hope in Logan.
"Bad dream." I say as I start feeling warm against his body. I feel his arms wrap around me a bit tighter for a second to reassure me I was safe in his arms. Just like Timothee.
"I'm here...nothing can hurt you." Logan whispers in my ear as shivers go down my spine. My hand lingers on his hand for a minute and I start to trace circles on his hand. Logan puts out his hand for me to hold on to. Our hands inter wine as he gives me a small kiss on my temple.
"You make everything better." I whisper and feel him smile on my shoulder.
"Here. Fall asleep first...I'll stay awake for a bit." Logan says as we comfortable to fall asleep in each other's arms.
"No it's ok...being in your arms is safe enough." I smile and Logan gives me a last kiss on my cheek. I focus on my breathing and soon enough I'm back in my dream about Logan and I reading on the grass. Such a peaceful dream.