She Healed Me | Severus Snape

Chapter 42

Hello again friends! Now remember what I said, the drama is not yet over...but don't worry. These things have a way of working themselves out. Also I'm sorry for taking so long to update. Between work stuff, being sick, and losing a family pet, I haven't had a lot of motivation to write recently.

Listen: Requiem in D Minor/ Lacrimosa by Mozart

42| doubting

Unknown to the ex-double agent himself, things were most certainly not back to normal. Lucia did her best to seem happy whenever she was with Severus. But she truly wasn't on the inside. There were still so many lingering doubts about Severus's opinion of her. She knew he cared for her, deeply, and he only said those things out of anger. However his own past with blood purity left some truth to it.

At the end of the day, Lucia did her absolute best to move on. She was able to be with him just fine, his presence was still a comfort to her. The only struggle came when he would ask how she was doing. But eventually it grew easier to lie, laying in bed together and looking him directly in the eyes. He didn't need to know the inner turmoil she was experiencing. Not now.

For once that morning, on a quiet Saturday, Lucia was completely relaxed. These thoughts had came back but she managed to push them away. Instead she allowed herself to enjoy a little extra time in bed. Especially with Severus laying right next to her. She was on her side with her back turned towards him, just reveling in the silence. She had her eyes closed while she listened to the soft sounds of page turning.

"You are being awfully quiet this morning."

That brought a smile to her face. "I'm just enjoying the tranquility."

Severus hummed, "are you saying you enjoy not speaking with me?"

"No," Lucia said with a soft laugh. She rolled over onto her other side to face him. "It's nice to lay in bed for once like this." She propped her head on her hand. "Not doing anything at all," she said teasingly.

"Not even read," Severus asked playfully.

"Not even that."

Severus grabbed his page marker and closed his book. "Would you like me to stop," he asked amused.

Lucia hummed indecisively. "Perhaps, just not for the reason you think."

Severus quirked a brow when he felt her foot brush along his calf. "You are being quite cheeky today." He put his book on the night stand and turned to face Lucia. "What's gotten you in such a good mood?"

"I told you," Lucia purred as she sat up to lean towards him, "I'm enjoying the peacefulness."

"It doesn't feel as peaceful as it was moments ago," Severus muttered.

Lucia shook her head with a smile before pulling Severus into a kiss. Perhaps she was only distracting herself from her problems. That would only cause more damage in the end as well if she didn't play her cards right. But as she pulled Severus down to hover over her, she found herself not caring. She was allowed to indulge herself for a little while longer. 

In hindsight, however, this might have been a poor decision. Because instead of confronting her struggles, Lucia discovered a new thing to worry over. She had become increasingly aware of odd behavior coming from Ava. It started right around the time she seemed to grow distant from Tom Riddle. But even that didn't last long because within a few short weeks they were a couple. It was the strangest thing to Lucia; first Rowan is attacked then Ava starts dating Riddle out of nowhere. Yet that didn't explain the off feeling she got from Ava.