daydream ' james potter

23 - potential

23

Levi Hudson is on the lawn reading a poetry book with the letters R, A, and B scratched into the spine. Esther cackles at him, like it's some sort of inside joke, and Mickey feels odd following her.

Levi is handsome, all silvery features that make him seem elf-like. Esther is quite elvish-looking as well. Mickey wonders if he fits in. He also wonders what the two of them are laughing about.

"Those are Regulus' initials," Esther says, answering Mickey's unasked question. "It's his poetry book."

"I stole it from him," Levi says, which makes Esther cackle even more. "He started reciting poems to Karma, so I took the book from him. Let's see if he can study without the material."

Levi looks awfully proud of himself, and Esther turns to Mickey. "He and Regulus are fighting over who gets to be Karma Bret's boyfriend."

"Isn't that her decision?" Mickey asks, feeling like maybe this is Adam all over again.

"Of course," Levi says, snapping the book closed. "But Karma told us that she is going to choose, and that may the best man win. So it is her decision, but we're allowed to try and persuade her a little."

"As a treat," Esther amends. She sits down diagonally from Levi, until their knees knock, and gestures for Mickey to fill in the space. He does, knees warm. "Mickey, this is Levi Hudson, my best friend and future husband if we both aren't married by thirty. Levi, this is Mickey, my new friend who wants to be my protégé."

"In what?" Levi snorts. "How to be more annoying?"

"How to be more myself," Mickey pipes up. His cheeks feel hot when they both look at him. "I'm... Well, I like boys. The whole school knows. But I'm not very proud of it."

"Why not?" Levi asks. "What's wrong with liking boys?"

Esther glares at him, "Yeah, Levi, what is wrong with liking boys?"

Levi blinks at her, visibly confused. His fingers twitch over the poetry book. "... Nothing. That's what I just said."

Esther seems to want to say more, and Mickey is sure it has something to do with the book, and Regulus, and this Karma girl, but he stays silent.

"Anyways," Esther shifts her focus back to Mickey. "First, we have to figure out why you aren't proud of it. What's stopping you from saying it?"

Mickey feels his father's hand against his cheek. "I was raised to believe that it's wrong."

"Do you think it is?" Levi asks, no judgment on his face.

Mickey thinks about James' smile when he brings him coffee the morning and the matching jackets they made together. He thinks of kissing James, and of the first night at James' house, when the bespectacled boy nursed him back to health with the most gentle touch. He thinks of James sitting with him in the kitchens and letting him talk out his feelings. He thinks of the freckle on James' shoulder and the way James' laugh sounds muffled into his' neck.

Certainly, there can be nothing wrong with the love he feels for James.

"No. I think it's quite nice, actually."

-

James pesters Dumbledore by loitering outside of his office until the headmaster lets him in.

It's been awhile since he's been in Dumbledore's office, and he can see that Fawkes is still as sulky as ever. He balances himself on the balls of his feet and asks the question that's been eating him up for days. "Is it true that you're starting an army? Against You-Know-Who?"

Dumbledore pinches his lips together, but he doesn't look upset. He looks... He looks like he expected this moment to come sooner or later. "You want to join, I presume."

"After school," James says, hurriedly. "I could help you recruit people."

"I might start before you leave school, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore says. "I have an idea of forming a group of students, ready to take their place in the war as soon as they graduate. They'll be trained just the same as You-Know-Who's students."

James thinks before graduation is too soon to prepare for a war. He's too young, and the boy he loves isn't returning his letters, and he doesn't even know which N.E.W.T. he's going to bother studying for yet. "Who will join?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkle. "I will hand-select students and graduates alike. They will be my special reserve."

"Would you ever consider choosing me?"

"I already have."

Pride blooms in James' stomach, and he wants to be a hero. He wants to save the world and protect the ones he loves. Though, he wasn't made to fight. Not really. Bullying Snape was fun in fifth year, but he's too old for that now. He wonders if wars are like schoolyard fights, and can be easily avoided.

But Dumbledore chose him. That's means he must need him. He must see some kind of potential there. He must think James is capable of being a hero, too.

"I accept, Sir."

-

double update bc this chapter is a bit small // things go down in the next one don't say i didn't warn you