The Moon's Boy

Chapter Thirteen

When Kadir woke up on Sunday morning, his orange bear smiled at him from the side of his bed. He rolled over and pushed its stomach gently with his finger. Clementine's bright voice poured out and washed over his sleepy form. The vague warmth from yesterday still lingered on his skin. He couldn't understand it.

By the time he got downstairs all showered and dressed, Oscar was already sprawled on the couch, watching TV. Kadir stroked his hair. "Get up, it's after nine."

"Good morning to you too, grumps."

"Come on, go get dressed, let's get you to your violin lesson. Your teacher always gives me an earful when you're late."

Oscar groaned, peeling himself from the plush seating. "She isn't as bad as you make her out to be, you know," he said, trudging up the stairs.

"Yeah, whatever, I still need to get you there before ten."

Kadir made himself a cup of tea and plopped down in his favourite armchair, curling up like an old cat in the morning sunlight. He was about halfway done when Oscar came back down in one of his signature grunge outfits. "Where's your violin?" asked Kadir over the rim of his mug.

"By the door," replied Oscar, pulling the sleeves of his undershirt onto his hands. He slunk into the kitchen, hair sticking up all over the place as usual. "Is Jonathan here yet or are we going to meet him halfway like we did last time?"

All traces of yesterday's warmth vanished, replaced by an icy stab in the heart. Kadir put down his tea. "He's... he's not coming," he said quietly.

Oscar popped his head out from behind the dividing wall. "Why not?"

"Uh, no reason. Something just came up, that's all."

His brother's eyes narrowed. "You're an awful liar but okay." Kadir sighed, taking a long sip of his tea. The hot liquid did very little to warm him up on the inside.

After managing to tame his brother's hair somewhat, Kadir dropped him off at his violin teacher's house. "I'll be back at one, yeah?" Oscar nodded, already stepping inside. The black-haired boy planted a kiss on his brother's head and gently rubbed his arm before walking back out onto the street.

He walked into his favourite bakery, a little brick building tucked into the side of the road, and greeted the cashier like she was an old friend. "Hey," she responded, a bright smile on her face. She cast a look behind him. "The cherub boy's not with you today?"

"Oh, no... not today."

"You guys come here every week together, it's almost strange to see you on your own," she said with a little laugh. Kadir feigned his own laughter, tightly interlacing his fingers. "What can I get you?"

"Two... I mean, one pain-au-chocolat, please."

She pulled one of the delicate pastries from the display case and put it in a neat, little brown bag. "That'll be a pound-seventy." Without hesitation, he paid her, murmured a quiet thank you, and turned towards the door.

"Tell your friend I said hi!" she called. He nodded, swallowing his heartache alongside the buttery pastry as he bit into it.

He roamed the neighbourhood, his mind far gone from reality. Jonathan usually took over from here, taking Kadir down some wild rabbit-hole adventure, but he was nowhere to be found. He remembered fondly the time they bought blue hair dye on a whim and coloured Jonathan's hair dark blue, and one weekend where they went shopping for antique books and figurines. A dark absence remained where Jonathan once stood. Before he realised it, Kadir had stepped onto the grass of his favourite park and was making his way towards the swings. It was silent and empty, just the way he liked it.

He stared over at the playground, watching the empty carousel spin. The abandoned vibe brought him peace, shelter from the meaningless hustle and bustle of life. No one would ever find him here. He could fade away here, slip between the gaps of reality, and go missing. The very thought brought him vague joy.

Kadir glanced at his phone, hoping that he'd received a message from his friend. There was nothing. There hadn't been anything for days.

Time passed by in tranquility, his mind wandering into oblivion. An alarm on his phone went off, bringing him back to Earth rather abruptly. He sighed, gradually returning his mind to the real world. It was just as disappointing as he remembered. He checked the time. Twelve-thirty. He still had half an hour to kill.

Kadir roamed within the neighbourhood, not wanting to go too far. As he walked through the near-empty streets, his mind brought him questions he'd rather not answer.

Why are you like this, Kadir?

"Why am I like what?" he muttered, keeping his eyes pinned on the ground.

You're such a trainwreck. Your only friend breaks up with you and suddenly you have no life, no interests, nothing to do? The voice scoffed. Eden's right about you, you're pathetic.

"I know."

Clementine must have so much pity for you and your sorry little existence. That's the only other explanation for wanting to spend time with you. She's probably worried that you'll do something drastic if she stops looking at you. You can't be dumb enough to think she genuninely likes you. You're a pet project, a pity friend. She's hanging out with you to boost her self-esteem. She's too good for you.

"Clementine already said she doesn't pity me," he murmured.

Do you think she's beyond lying to make you feel better?

He didn't respond, his shoulders slumping. Like I said, she's far too good for you, Kadir. Don't get your hopes up.

Kadir's feet carried him back to the violin teacher's studio right on time. He stepped inside and saw Oscar seated in front of his teacher, eyes closed as he played his violin. The gentle music that flowed from his steady movements poured into the entrance hall and filled Kadir's heart with quiet pride. The teacher caught sight of Kadir as he drew closer and she lightly tapped her student on the shoulder. "Your brother's here, Alexander."

Oscar opened his eyes and stared up at Kadir's mostly blank face. He grinned and leapt up, putting his violin into his case. He thanked his teacher before stepping out into the street with his sibling. "How'd it go?" asked Kadir.

"Okay, I guess, I started learning a new piece today." He smiled down at his violin case. "I'm going to play it for Mum's birthday."

Kadir ruffled his brother's hair. "That's very nice of you, I'm sure she'll like that."

"Could you keep it a secret for me? I want it to be a surprise."

Kadir smiled at his little brother's affection. "I can do that." They walked home in silence and were greeted by the smell of Sunday roast. The dark-haired boy's eyes lit up. She was home.

Dropping his bag in the entrance, Kadir made his way to the kitchen and found his mum sitting on the kitchen counter, her eyes trained on the oven. Oscar wasn't too far behind him. "Hey Mum," trilled Oscar as he rushed to her, almost knocking her over. She planted a kiss on his little blond head and beckoned Kadir over. Shyly he approached and gave her a light hug. She smelled like home and stability.

"How was your lesson, sweetpea?" she asked, pulling a tray of roast potatoes from the oven.

Oscar cast a little look at his brother and smiled. "It was good, I think I'm getting better now."

"Oh, that's wonderful," she replied, stroking his cheek with her oven mitten before turning her attention to Kadir. "How are you, player boy? Did everything go okay?"

The words spoken to him on his walk back to the studio filled his mind. "I'm alright." Madison beamed.

"I need one of you to set the table and I need the other to help me dish this up. Who's going to do what?"

Oscar stuck his hand up in the air. "I volunteer to help in the kitchen."

Madison chuckled. "That's only because you want to sneak potatoes before we get to the table. You're not slick, buster." He scratched the back of his neck. Guilty. Kadir watched their exchange, his heart filling with a dilute kind of peace. At least there was something in his life that was still normal.