Endless Appetite

Two souls touching

Simon still didn't know what exactly had happened back then. It felt like a dream, something he didn't really experience but just made up. And it was confusing. Feeling Jace that close had been new and so many emotions were swirling around in his head since the day before. But everything had been brought to a end when Magnus had woken up again... and he'd been furious. Well, no wonder. Simon had thrown him against the wall. That surely wasn't too pleasant. And the vampire understood very well why Magnus had reacted like that. He also had been no less confused than Simon himself. Seeing the two in the middle of his living room, only half dressed and in a deep hug. That must have been pretty new to him as well. And while he had thrown Jace out instantly and hadn't even let him dress himself, Simon had to stay for a couple more minutes, listening to Magnus' worries and his anger as well.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

"You didn't know what would happen!"

"You could be dead. Everyone around you could be dead!"

Simon hadn't thought about this possibility and in hindsight he really had been stupid and reckless. But his body had been drawn to Jace's. And the Shadowhunter had felt the same way, right? No matter how weird it had been, he had felt complete in a strange but comfortable way.

Now he felt just... empty. Like something or someone was missing again. He felt the thirst for, what he was sure about, was Jace's blood. A deep sigh left his lips. He probably would be lucky if he would see Jace again from far away since the Shadowhunter hadn't been too fond of finding out what was going on from the beginning. But with this step further Simon wanted to explore this bond even more. He wanted to find out what it meant and what would come out of it. Something that was pretty much impossible as long as Jace didn't want to-

Suddenly there was a knock on his door. He had been so much in his thoughts that he hadn't realized that a visitor came. Now he heard the heart beat of the person in front of his door and came to open it. Jace was standing in front of him, clearly confused, like he didn't expect to see Simon but someone else opening the door.

Without a word they stared at each other before Simon took a step aside to let Jace in. He closed the door, then looked at Jace again. Why was he here? And why did Simon let him in. Magnus had told him to not see him again, but... he needed to. How could any of this be wrong when he felt like this. That was bad. Really bad. Not only because of the warlock but also because Simon didn't have blood for quite a while now and the Shadowhunter's smell was just too good.

Jace started walking around his apartment, touching everything and obviously trying to avoid for whatever reason he had come here.

"Jace...? Talk to me. Why did you come?"

The Shadowhunter stopped and turned around to look at Simon again. "I needed to..."

A soft smile appeared on Simon's lips and he came closer, reached out for Jace's hand. The warmth of his skin heating up his whole body. There was this sensation again, the craving for more... the intense longing.

"Can we... try again...?" Simon dared to ask. It took a moment until there was a slight nod from Jace and his heart beat got faster.

While getting rid of his Jacket, Jace continued looking at Simon but the vampire didn't just want to stand there. He slowly pushed up Jace's shirt, touching is bare stomach and chest while doing so, then threw the shirt on the sofa. With a deep, shaky and pretty useless breath he finally rested his hands on his chest. He could feel the muscles but also that tickling sensation under his fingers that made him nervous but was somewhat soothing.

"May I?" But without really waiting for an answer Jace already pushed Simon's sweat jacket over his shoulders and started undressing him. His eyes rested on the vampire's face while doing so and his expression was soft and gentle, something Simon had never seen on him before. He looked so caring...

After the hoodie was gone, his shirt followed and the situation seemed quite familiar with the happenings of the day before. But Jace didn't pull him closer. Instead his hands moved over his body, from his neck to his shoulders, his chest and wherever he touched Simon the vampire felt warmth spreading in his body. Still, it was strange to be touched like that. Especially by Jace. A man. A man he couldn't even stand. And Jace... he also couldn't stand the vampire, right?

Simon brought up his arms again as well, to gently touch Jace's chest, moving upwards to his neck. He felt his pulse beneath his fingers and his teeth were growing. But he tried to ignore it, just wanted to... touch the Shadowhunter. Slowly he came closer and Jace put his arms around the vampire who now rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes, while his hands were on Jace's chest again. He didn't just hear his heart but also felt it this way.

"What do you think this is?" The blonde's voice was quiet and worried and Simon... didn't really know how to answer that.

"I... don't know? But it's... it feels right. It feels like this is... how it should be" The vampire tried and Jace smiled softly, pulled him even closer while he hummed in agreement.

"Do you think... there is even more about it? After all it's supposed to be... love..." Simon felt strange saying that but maybe there was more. Maybe there should be more.

"You mean... like what?"

"I don't know. I don't even know how... what... what I should call this... whole thing" The vampire shrugged and looked up to Jace, his head still on his shoulder, facing his neck. His smell was all around but the touching of their bodies stopped him from doing anything. He just moved a little closer, his lips nearly reaching the Shadowhunter now.

While one hand of Jace still rested on Simon's back, the other hand moved up to his hair, pushing his head even closer to his neck and a soft groan left his lips.

"Jace, don't... I'm not-"

"It's okay... I don't... want you to bite me. Just be closer"

"Why...?" The vampire asked softly.

"It feels... it's different. It goes deeper. I feel assured you're here."

Simon frowned but at the same time... these words touched something inside of him. So he smiled a little. This moment was so... intimate.

"Why did you come to Magnus?" Simon asked quietly while still standing close to him, feeling his arms and listening to his heart. Other than that it was silent in the room. Jace didn't answer.

"Jace? Why did you come?" He asked again.

"To talk to Magnus... About this bond. And suddenly I was only able to think about-" Jace didn't go on. And also he didn't need to. Simon knew it. Why was it like that? Why did he feel that good right now? And what if it was actually dangerous? What if there was more about the bond than just this good feeling? There could be some many things going wrong...

Taking another deep breath Simon made a step back, his body suddenly feeling incredibly cold.

"We... shouldn't do this. We don't know what can happen. This is... I mean..."
Jace's expression turned blank. "Yeah, sure." He took his shirt and put it back on again. "Right, I shouldn't come here again."

Jace had trusted him in this. Trusted him, that the situation wouldn't become weird. Trusted him, that Simon felt the same as he did. But this was obviously false. Simon didn't feel the same. At least that's what Jace thought.
Simon on the other hand felt exactly that and this was why he tried to bring some distance between the two of them. He was worried something bad could happen. Even if this felt right, it didn't mean it really was. There could be something happening within both of them. It could hurt them, make them vulnerable to everything around them and Jace couldn't dare to be vulnerable. He was a fighter, a soldier, a Shadowhunter. He had to be strong and fit and shouldn't suffer from anything that could make him weak, right?

Watching Jace leave was painful. It was like something important was taken from Simon, but it was for the better. It was the right thing to do. Because until now they just didn't know what was going to happen if he'd stayed.