Endless Appetite

Gone

TW: Torture

-------------------------------

With Jace not being with him and Simon not being able to see him the pain in the vampire was growing again. He felt like a part of him was missing and he hated it. It wasn't just that Jace was staying away from him in general. It was also knowing that he caused it to happen. It was his own fault. But a part of him really had been scared and now... now he regretted it that he had sent him away.

There was no way he could write him or call him. Everything would make him seem desperate and it would be like begging Jace to come back to him. Come back to him , was that even the right expression? He really had no idea what was going on and staying in his apartment alone didn't make anything better. He had too much time to think and too much time to focus on that feeling that was pulling on him, somehow telling him to see Jace again. But could he really?

Jace would laugh at him and send him away if not the other Shadowhunter would lock him in some cell for coming too close to the institute. Why was his life going like that? Why did Jace offer Simon to feed on him? Just... why? If that didn't happen, none of this would have happened. He would still feel... normal. And not like... this. Not like some love sick freak. He wasn't even in love with Jace. How could he anyway? He was just some stupid jerk. This was only about his blood and that weird legend, wasn't it?

At some point he wasn't even sure anymore. When he met up with Clary for some weird reason Jace had insisted to bring the ginger girl to their meeting point and while he was gone already when Simon had arrived, the vampire could still smell him all around, making this heart ache even more. He wanted to see Jace, smell him, look at him... feel him. Just touching his skin again for only a second would be enough. But here he was, wandering around with Clary, trying to get distracted by going shopping. Nothing that would really help him. How could it anyway? Smelling him around, even if it was just his faint scent in Clary's clothes, made everything much worse.

Distraction really didn't work well for him and after days and weeks he just couldn't bear it anymore. During his walk to the institute, he wondered how Jace would feel. Did he just not care? Or did he feel much better than him? Was this deep – whatever it was – not there for him? Was it just Simon? But why? He just couldn't understand it.

Too much in his thoughts and not really caring about the shadows moving around where the street lights didn't reach, he didn't really notice how a small group of vampires came closer, before suddenly grabbing him. He felt a liquid in his forced-open mouth and right after everything was turning black.

When he woke up again he was tied to a chair, blindfolded, his head still a bit dizzy.

"He's finally awake"
"Great, so we can start now?"
"Yeah, let's do it"
Before Simon could even react to anything he felt a sudden pain, when one of the persons around him punched him with such force he felt like his whole stomach would be ripped out. He gasped for breath although he didn't even need to.

"So, you'll gonna start talking, right?" He could hear a voice say.
"I-" Simon coughed, still feeling the pain. "I don't even know what about"
"How did you become a daylighter?"

Of course. It was the daylighter thing. That's what they wanted to know.
"Okay, so this is actually a pretty funny story, because I really have no idea how I-"
This time it was his chest that was hit and he even heard a crack. The pain coming from his ribs was overwhelming. He dug his fingers into the metal chair he was sitting on, trying to break it, pulled at his arms, but the chains didn't loosen.

"Not a single chance, daylighter. Don't even think about getting away, because you won't. But you sill need to explain. How did it work?"

"I told you! I have no idea! There was a lot going on and a lot of fighting and magic and blood everywhere and suddenly I- AH!"

"DON'T LIE TO US!"

The next bone that was broken was his arm. Simon whimpered at the stinging pain.
"I'm not lying! I really don't-"

This time it was his other arm.
"We will break you every fucking bone in your body until you finally tell us. And if it doesn't work out today, we will just repeat all of this tomorrow and the day after that and after that..."

Simon thought they'd be joking. No, it was more, he hoped that they were joking. But already the next evening he realized they weren't. With getting just enough blood to be able to really heal himself, they started punching him again, breaking his ribs, his arms and fingers. Still, the fledgling didn't dare talking. He didn't want them to get Jace, although he actually didn't know if it really had been Jace who- .... of course he was. Otherwise there also wouldn't be this connection. And all of this started right after he bit him.

Just thinking of what they'd do to Jace was horrible. Either they made themselves daylighter and kill him off or would use him also for others, drawing his blood day after day – tied down to the chair he was on now, a needle in his arm... No, that was something he didn't even want to imagine nor see. Jace had to be safe. And he couldn't if he'd say any word about it.

"Magic. Maybe it was magic. There was... so much going on" Simon whispered, his body full of pain. "I was... hit by a warlock" It was a lie, but he needed to try.
"Which warlock? What magic?" One of the other vampires asked.

"I don't know. He... he was tall and... black hair and... a brown suit" More lies. He just had to make something up so they would stop. Maybe they'd believe him and search for that warlock that didn't exist.

"I really hope you're not lying to us... Otherwise you will face the consequences"

At least they stopped for now, maybe trying to find some warlock that would fit the very vague description. Not that they would have any chance. But maybe they would be busy with that long enough so he could find a way out of here.
He could feel blood down his face. Every small movement hurt and even if he had vampire healing powers a broken rib wouldn't heal that fast. It had taken hours until the pain had finally been gone. Even dying would be easier and faster than that. Just sitting here, waiting for his body to heal, just to have to go through the same torture again, night after night...

Two nights later he didn't know if he could stand it much longer. Even though he had said something about a warlock, they either didn't believe him or wanted to know if there was more about the incident.
Due to the small amount of blood he was given, his body needed longer and longer to heal again. It was hard and painful to go through all of this. The next night he even hoped that at some point one of the broken ribs would somehow pierce his heart, but they were either pretty good in what they were doing or he was just... unlucky.

When being alone again he wondered what was going on at the institute. Would Clary realize he was gone? Or would it be Maia who might have come back to talk to him again? Or maybe, just maybe... it would be Jace? Maybe he would find out that something was going wrong? Would he sense it? No, this wasn't like a parabatai bond. Still, he hoped. At least Simon could feel the stinging pain inside of himself, which wasn't from the wounds. It was his his heart craving for Jace. He wanted to be with him again, feel his warmth that took everything bad away. He tried concentrating on him, how he had felt in his arms and how healing that had been. Maybe over that he could finally sleep again, so he didn't have to feel the pain anymore.

Outside the city slowly started waking up again when finally his eyes fell close and the pain disappeared. He could relax... as much as it was possible when sitting on that chair. But he slept until early evening, when he heard voices, waking up from them. They were back again...
The pain had just gone and they were back again... He was ready to face this he told himself, but he really wasn't. How could anyone be ready for this...?