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My vision was blurry with tears as I flushed the toilet.
My throat was burning like the pits of hell as I shakily stood and wobbled over to the sink.
After rinsing out my mouth, I looked in the mirror and cringed.
Mascara was smudged underneath my watering red eyes. Pieces of fine baby hair had come loose from my ponytail, now sticking to my forehead.
The clothes that Kallie let me borrow, while we washed my dirty ones, were looser than I expected.
I laughed at my reflection as I pulled up her sagging pajama pants — thinking about how I could just barely fit in Kallie's clothes the first time I tried them on.
I felt like a psycho — staring at my reflection, laughing quietly to myself, but the alcohol still had a strong hold on me.
I pulled up the baggy t-shirt I was wearing and smiled as I tried to pull at the skin on my belly. I could hardly grip it.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but right now, I was happy.
Happy with my self control. Happy with how far I'd come.
But I couldn't stop yet — I still had a long way to go.
I didn't know when I would even want to stop.
Why would I, when it was so easy to get what I wanted?
My life was going out of control. But this?
This was all me — I had complete control.
"Brylee?" I heard from the other side of the bathroom door, making me drop the t-shirt quickly. "Are you okay? Whoop, shit."
I giggled as I heard Kallie stumble into the door.
"Yeah," I hiccuped. "I'm coming out."
I took one last look at myself in the mirror, scrubbing at the dried mascara on my cheeks to no avail, then stepped out of the bathroom.
"Lightweight," Kallie giggled, nudging my arm.
I wish.
I'll get there though.
"Are you hungry?" She asked, already walking down the hall. "Mom just finished making breakfast."
