Stay alive, my love

I could never hate you

Nagisas POV:
Warning: suicide content
I swallowed the pills as warm tears continued pouring down my cheeks. I felt like I would flood the room. The tears won't stop. The color through my vision was starting to lessen, all of a sudden all of my attention was focused on how fascinating the colors looked as they slowly dulled to black and white. I felt my knees go wobbly. Then, there was a loud banging sound downstairs. I'm to delirious to care though. And with that, the last of my strength surrenders and my knees buckle as everything goes completely dark.
"it's all my fault"
I heard a muffled voice speak. It was a beautiful voice. Is this an Angel? Have I gone to heaven?
Then, it got louder
"ITS ALL MY FAULT!"
Stop it! It's to loud! I don't like this noise! It's scary! This isn't heaven....
There was something cold drawing me back to the voice. It got louder and louder as I got closer and closer.
What is this cold? Am In a freezer room? Or perhaps I'm outside and it's a very windy day. Wait? Is this water?
I felt my body jolt as I made a gagging sound.
What's happening? Why am I throwing up? Who is that sobbing? Why are they calling my name?
I kept gagging for about another minute and then the nausea stopped. I slowly opened my eyes. I saw a blur of red
"K-kar-" my throat closed up. I couldn't seem to speak.
"Yes. Yes, lovely, it's me. I'm here." I felt hands stroking and brushing through my wet hair. No no no- am I alive? What? I was supposed to be dead! I felt my bottom lip tremble. I heard sobs. That's not Karmas voice. Who's crying? Ah... it's me. I didn't realize.

Karmas POV:
I was stroking through his hair, silent tears falling from my eyes. I looked at his beautiful face. All I could see was pain. All the happiness from the past months. What happened to it? There is not a speck to be seen. His knees were bent and his head was turned to the side on my lap. He started to sob. The tears came out of my eyes, faster, warmer. I pulled him into an upright position and we both sat there, him leaning on my chest, my chin placed on top of his head, sobbing.
After a bit of time had passed I scooped Nagisa up and walked over to my bedroom. He was shaking from the cold he tried to take his sweatshirt off but his body was too weak and he could barely lift his arms.
I walked over and helped him change into sweats and a sweatshirt as well as dry his hair. Afterwards I did the same to myself.
We hadn't said a single word. Nagisa was sitting upright on the bed staring straight at the wall. He didn't look lost in thought. It looked like his head was completely blank.
All of a sudden I heard myself start sobbing and I fell onto the floor. I barely had air and I was gasping hard. I heard Nagisa stumbling over towards me. I looked up at him as he shakily bent down towards me.
"Th-this is all m-my fault." I cried out. "I should have never said those th-those things t-to you, Nagi. I'm so s-so sorry. I-I was just so mad I w-wasnt thinking straight!"
I felt his hand stroke through my hair.
"You don't hate me?" I heard him whisper
My eyes widened "I could never hate you. You're the love of my life!"
Nagisa gave me a warm smile as a couple tears leaked from his eyes.
I know I'm going to have to explain to Nagisa about how I won't be leaving him alone for a while now because I love him to much for him to hurt himself. I decided I'd tell him in a little bit because I think talking about what happened more right now would make him panic, especially because I see he's starting to tremble again.
I scooped Nagisa up.
"Where are we g-going Karma?" Nagisa asked in a trembling and quiet voice.
"How do you feel about watching a movie on the couch?"
He nodded, some pink tint breaking through his pale cheeks.
I smiled as bright as I could at him and he blushed brighter. I snickered at this and he quickly turned his head the other way.
We ended up watching "the autopsy of Jane doe." (Guys, if your haven't watched this movie, FUCKING WATCH IT ITS SO GOOD AGH) Nagisa is surprisingly into horror. He even picked the movie. I thought his uke ass would be too scared for something like this.

Nagisas POV:
Hmmm what movie....
"AHA!!! THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE!!!"
.
.
.
"Wait, what."
I looked over at Karma and he looked surprised.
"What?" I asked curiously.
He just started at me blankly for a second and then bursted out laughing.
"s-sorry I just never s-saw you as the horror kind of person" he said between gasps for air.
"I don't see how it's that funny." I said with a scowl on my face. "What, did you think I was a total wimp or something?"
Karma looked up at me with a serious look on his face. He's so fucking good looking. I felt my cheeks heat up a bit. "Nagisa, I can assure you that you are the bravest, strongest person I know."
I felt my heart skip a beat as he walk closer to me and lifted my face up, which I had lowered to the floor from embarrassment, with his index finger.
He then quickly kissed me on the lips but right when he pulled away I grabbed his shirt by the color, my face down to the floor again with my cheeks a burning red.
I peaked up at him through my eyelashes and saw he was looking at me with pure love in his eyes, his cheeks tainted a rosy color.
I pulled him in closer, into a longer kiss. It wasn't a kiss of lust, but one of love. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I put mine around his neck, one hand running through his hair.
I pulled away for air and then attacked him in a hug, rubbing my head into his chest, my finger clutching at the back of his shirt for dear life. I felt my eyes water up. Soon, tears were streaming out of my blue eyes and I was gasping for air. Karma pulled me away and looked at my face with a curious and concerned look.
"K-karma I- I...."
I grabbed him and pulled him into another tight hug.
"I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!"
I was pushing my head into his chest. I felt my hair getting tangled but I didn't care.

Karmas POV:
I looked down at the top of Nagisas head. He was pushing his head in my chest tightly, grabbing onto my shirt with his small fingers tightly as if he would never let go. I knew I was red. My face was hot.
"Nagisa."
"I love you too."
And I promise that I always will.