Her Gift

Bargaining chip.

Once again I was getting into a rhythm of life without Hayden; after his last visit I hadn't seen him in weeks.

It wasn't nearly as difficult this time around and that gave me hope; hope that it wouldn't hurt forever. For the most part I could tuck him away, tuck the memories of him away until late at night.

That's when I remembered.

Every kiss or laugh, every time he comforted me or teased me. Every single moment replayed itself for me.

It wasn't nearly as difficult this time around, no. But it still hurt like hell.

Routine was my savour during the day; I had college to keep me busy and school work afterwords. Visiting the family saved me from lonely weekends. I could do this. I could handle a Hayden-less life. I didn't want to, and seeing that he still cared about me didn't help in the slightest... but I was managing.

There wasn't many times during the day that I thought about him; I'd trained my mind. Usually an unexpected sight of Killian could push him to the forefront but I was adapt at squashing that quickly.

Today however, Hayden was brought forward by a stranger. He didn't look like Hayden or remind me of him in any way.

The reason behind it was much more sinister.

............

"Alright class, that's a wrap on today's lecture, please read through the work I spent a tireless amount of time collecting for you. Don't let my weekend of doing nothing but this go to waste."

I laugh with the rest of the class as we all start packing away our notebooks. With a quick wave goodbye to my friends - it was a wonder I had any left - I make my way to the parking lot to drive home and get started on the pack my professor had just begged us to complete.

The hairs on the back of my neck rise to attention and I look around the busy lot to detect where the feeling of being watched is coming from.

I'd felt this way for a few weeks; ever since Hayden had come to visit, and I had convinced myself at first that it was him checking up on me.

But this feeling of being surveil-lanced, of my every move being watched was not from someone who was just 'looking out for me'

I shake the feeling off and tell myself once again to stop being paranoid. Nobody was out to get me. Nobody was stalking me.

Even still, I walk with determination to get to my car as quickly as possible without looking suspicious to all the students milling around and talking to their friends.

I head to do my weekly shop as I always do on a Monday and forget about my paranoia.

........

"That'll be 36.49 please." The cashier states politely and I delve into my bag in search of my money.

Panic sets in when I can't find my purse. I check behind me to see who is waiting in the queue and briefly make eye contact with the man next in line who gives me a one sided smile.

I search deeper in the bag and try to explain to the cashier. "It's always here. I don't know where it could be. Would it be okay if I just run to my car and check there?"

"I'll have to cancel it all and start again." She warns but before I can assure her that's no problem, the man behind me hands over some cash.