Her Gift

Operation.

Sunlight streams through my open curtains and wakes me. Even though I'd had such an eventful and scary day yesterday I woke feeling refreshed; like I'd had the best nights sleep in months.

A strong, warm arm pulls me closer to an equally strong and warm body and the reason for my peaceful sleep is clear; Hayden.

Not wanting to wake up and ruin this perfect moment I stall, keeping my eyes closed and feigning sleep.

"I know you're awake Sunshine... Android remember." His voice is silky and teasing. I bite my lip to hide my smile and start to snore loudly.

His returning laugh is catching and I find myself giggling along with him. My giggle soon turns to an outright laugh when his fingers dig into my waist and start to tickle mercilessly.

Gasping for breath he finally relents and I make myself open my eyes. Gorgeous gray eyes with specks of every other spectrum of colour shine down on me with happiness and love.

"I missed you, my little ray of sunshine." He admits and I try to stem the hope. Sure, he missed me. I missed him too. Sure, he loved me. Ditto baby... but nothing had changed, unless he just didn't care about the reasons why he left in the first place anymore. I had to know.

"Hayden, I ... I missed you too, more than you'll ever know." I stop to take in all his features, just incase. "But, you left me for a reason... and I don't want you to come back just to break my heart all over again. I'm not strong enough."

His once bright eyes dim with regret and sadness "Rae, I'm so sorry I ever hurt you. I never wanted to be apart from you. I just wanted to give you a chance at a normal relationship; one that can give you a real chance at a family."

"I wanted you though," I say with determination. "You were my family."

"I know, but I truly thought I was making the right decision. I still do... you should be with someone who you can grow old with, who can give you a family."

I try to pull away from his arms. Why was he here with me if he still felt the same? Hayden holds onto me tighter, preventing me from escaping.

"Wait let me finish..." he says desperately and I cease my struggling. "I still believe all of that, the reason I'm here now is because I've figured out a way to give those things to you."

"I don't understand Hayd, what are you saying?"

Before Hayden speak up he quickly dips his head down and plants a kiss on my frowning forehead. My eyes widen in delight and then close in bliss when he reaches my lips and pressing his against them firmly.

I automatically react and open my mouth; it's second nature to me and I don't think twice to allow him to deepen the kiss. He doesn't waste anytime delving his tongue inside my mouth and pressing it deliciously against my own.

I moan softly underneath him and let my fingers grip his hair pulling him impossibly closer to me. Hayden groans above me before reluctantly moving off my body ever so slightly. His eyes are dilated and half lidded with lust and I imagine mine match.

As if he can't help himself he chastely presses his mouth to mine again before dotting hot, wet, open kisses along my chin and down to the crook of my neck.

The majority of me wants to keep him there; it feels far too good to stop him and the tightening in my stomach promises for a magical morning... but his words are swirling away in the only part of my brain that hasn't been addled by his sensual touch.

"Hayden, please." I start, and another moan rips from me when he nips at my skin and then runs his tongue over the sting.

It takes me another minute to remember what I was going to say "Hayden, you're killing me. Stop and explain yourself."

He finally lifts off me completely and I marvel at his lack of breathlessness; I on the other hand pant underneath him. I watch his eyes follow my chest that is rising and falling with each puff I take to control myself.

"Hayden." I say, and his eyes flick up to meet my own; mine looking reprimanding, his rueful.

"Alright. What I was saying is that Killian and I have finally discovered a way for Androids to biologically age. It means I have to swap out my positronic brain for an artificial human brain, and add in a artificial heart... but this way I'll be able to deteriorate just like you and eventually die alongside you." He said this with such gusto that I laughed; such happiness at the thought of dying.

Then his words register.

"What!? You... you can grow old? You can age?" I exclaim.

"Yeah, I mean, if it's successful." He shrugs.

"What does that mean? Why wouldn't it be?" I ask scrunching my eyebrows once more.

"Well, I'm having my brain removed... I don't have a heart to remove," He tacked on. "And although we've done every test we can to see if the artificial ones will take with me. We won't know 100 percent until they are actually in me and I wake up. If I wake up." He looks me over seriously.

"This is why I didn't want to come back to you until I'd had the operations, not only am I going to be in theatre for a hell of a long time. We don't know if it'll work and if it doesn't then I'm not sure he'd be able to put the old pieces of me back."

"I don't know what you mean?" I say, but maybe I just didn't want to understand what he meant.

"Rae, I'm saying I don't know if I'll come back... alive, if the operation isn't a success." He waits for me to take in the words and I do so slowly.

"You'd die?" I choke out, needing to hear him say it but not really wanting that to be what he confirms.

"Yeah, sunshine. I'd die."

I shake my head so much I go dizzy. "No, no, you can't do this. You're not doing this. Are you crazy?" My eyes are so wide I wonder if he thinks I'm the one that's gone mad. "Why would you even think about doing something like this?!"

"So I can be with you." He voice is so calm and serious when he answers me.

"I won't let you do this. I would never want you to do something this reckless, just for the chance of growing old with me. I forbid you to do it. That's an order. You're my Android. You have to do what I say."

His mouth drops open and I want to take back what I've just said, what I've just done. I can't bring myself to regret it though. I'd never ordered him to do anything before; It was always a request when we asked him to do chores in the house. He'd never been told he had to do something.

"Take that back, please Rae." He pleads with me, eyes begging but I keep shaking my head.

"Rae, I'm begging you. I - I" he doesn't finish whatever he was about to say because even though tears are streaming down my face at what I'd just done, I keep on shaking my head. I couldn't let him die. Not for me. Not for this.

My heart clenches at the look of sorrow on his face. "I'm sorry," I manage to sob out. "I can't let you do this. I can't let you die. I'd rather die myself."

"We don't know that I would. We're almost positive this will work, please Rae... don't order me around like I'm just your property. Like I'm some average robot."

I squeeze my eyes shut so I can't see the desperation, the pure anguish.

Doesn't he know this would destroy me?

I keep my eyes closed. "Fine. I release you from that order. Go do your operation."

"Rae... sunshine, look at me." He softly takes my hands in his but I move them.

"No, I'd like you to leave please."

I swipe the tears off my cheek but more continue to fall; I didn't want him to leave, but I couldn't watch him walk away and not know if I'd ever see him again.

So I stayed in the dark, and listened to his retreating footsteps get closer to the bedroom door.

"I love you Rae, and I will come back for you." Were his parting words before he left and I crumpled into a whimpering mess.

"I love you too." I cried into the empty room.