whatever the hell we want || j. jordan | DISCONTINUED

~chapter 2.2~

Well, did you find anything?" I asked as Maya approached us.
"Apparently Clarke had some sort of breakdown, just snapped. Started pulling out her stitches trying to hurt herself." She looked up at Jasper, her eyes filled with emotion. False worry, it seemed to me. But I could be biased. Anyway, I had Clarke to think about. Trying to hurt herself? I doubted it.
"Um, anything else?"
"She's in psych ward being monitored. Talked to a friend who works there and he think it might be a couple days before anyone is allowed to see her." Monty stood up to leave.
"We'll see about that."
I followed him. The last thing I saw before I turned the corner was Maya's hand on Jasper's arm.

•••

Monty stopped short.
"What are we doing? I thought we were going to see Clarke?" He turned around to me. "Monty?"
"You love him."
"What?"
"Jasper. You've loved him since day one."
"No, I-"
He didn't let me finish. "Back on the Ground, when he was injured, you never left his side. You put him before yourself," He grabbed my hand. "The way you looked at him, the way you acted around him, I've noticed it all."
"And... has he?" I stammered.
"Of course not. He's totally oblivious to everything. Besides-"
"He loves Octavia. Or he did. Now he loves Maya. I'll never be good enough, will I?" I tried to keep the tears from falling, but Mount Weather had softened me. Now that I wasn't fighting for my life, I had time to worry about boy troubles. Monty rolled his eyes.
"God, Cress. You can be so numb sometimes, you know that? You remember that night where you walked past our tent? He was talking about Harper. Not you. He's loved you since before I can remember. He liked Octavia. He likes Maya. But deep down, he loves you. You just need to show him."
"Well, what do you want me to do, kill Maya?" I said, mostly as a joke. Mostly.
He laughed. "No, not kill Maya. Just present yourself more to him. Stop ignoring him because you think he loves her. You need to remind him of who he really needs to be with."
"Monty, why are you saying this now? We need to find Clarke. We'll come back to this." I shrugged it off, trying to forget it. But I couldn't. Not ever. Jasper loves me. Or so Monty says.

•••

After arriving in psych ward, we were pushed out. We weren't aloud to see Clarke. We pressed and pressed, but the guards never budged. We wouldn't convince them. Monty and I visited at least 4 times a day, still begging to see her.

•••

"Monty." I burst out at lunch, on the fourth day. "She's not here."

"How do you mean?" He stopped eating, leaning forward to keep our conversation private.

"I mean, she escaped. Why else wouldn't they let us see her? We have to go find her and-"

"No." He cut in. "We're not putting ourselves in danger. Clarke can handle herself. Besides, we have no idea what they'll do to us if we get caught."

"But what if they... killed her?"

"They wouldn't kill her. We're supposed to be safe here, remember? The worst they'd do is keep her in psych or arrest her." He reassured.

"But either way, they'd still let us visit her!" I pressed, getting frustrated. Not with Monty, or even Mount Weather. With myself, maybe? With everything, I supposed. Just life. He reached forward and patted my hand.

"Don't worry. We'll go back again tonight, and if they still don't let us see her, we'll go to the president." I nodded in agreement, then turned back to my lunch. I glanced over at Jasper to find him sitting next to Maya.