Last chance

||17||

Rebecca
I reach the door, I raise my hand and hesitantly knock it, my mother opened not long after looking as cheerful as ever.
"Rebecca Darling, I've missed you so much..."
She grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug, it feels like I've got my mum back, maybe she's finally finished with that scum bag John. She stepped aside and beckoned me into the house, we walked through the house and i sat uneasily at my kitchen table.
"So how have you been?"
"I've been okay, I feel a bit off but when don't I. I'm going to try and quit, I think I can do it. I've only been clean for a little over a week but that's a week more than last time."
I hear a noise from behind me, it sounds like a high pitched squeal, it sounded like a child.
"Rebecca, me and John were talking and we thought maybe it's time you take some responsibility for your little girl, Millie."
I feel my breath catch in my throat when I saw her, I agreed when I had the baby that she'd never be around when I'm here. That's why I spent most of the time out of the house, I don't want to get to know her because I know I'll get too attached, I never even wanted her. But who could blame me, I was a 15 year old having her step dads baby.

3 years ago...
I've just lost my dad, I have no choice now but to go home. I walk into his empty house and it sends shivers down my spine. He should be here, he should be sitting at his office desk not lying dead in some graveyard. I walk over to my room and I start to pack everything in a few bags. I hope my mother is happy to see me because I need somewhere to live or I know I'll be back on the drugs straight away. I pull my bags over my shoulder as I look at the empty house one last time.

I drive my motorcycle down to her house, when I arrive I feel sick. I don't want to be here but I really have no choice. My dad was all I had left and now he's gone so what the point. I knock the door and he opens it.
"What are you doing here? Annette come here!"
He walked back into the house and I watched my mum come out, she looked like she'd been crying.
"Aw Dear come here."
She pulled me into a hug,
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."
"...it's okay..."
"I'll talk to John, I'm not going to let you go on the streets like this."

1 month later...
"You're too quiet you should speak up!"
That's all he seems to say to me nowadays, I don't feel like talking, I'm still not over him. I don't know if I'll ever be over him, he was my dad, my rock, he was the one person who actually helped me to stop my addiction...
"...i'm sorry..."
"I said speak UP!"
"I said I was fucking sorry alright!"
I can normally keep my cool but not tonight, he's been picking on me all day and I've reached my breaking point. I slammed my hands down on the table before swiftly leaving, I made my way up to my room and cried my eyes out. I'm so tempted to just slip out and buy something just to ease the pain...

2 hours later...
I'm still crying about earlier, I feel so sad. I can't talk to my mum or anybody else for that matter. I don't have any friends, I don't really have any family...I was listening to some music when he burst in, no knock. I could've been naked...
"Rebecca what you did today was unacceptable, you can't talk to me like that!"
He moved closer to me on my bed and I felt so uncomfortable.
"So I say I punish you and we forget it."
He dragged his hand up my leg and I felt myself starting to feel sick.
"...no..."
"Don't disobey me girl!"
He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down onto the bed, I started to scream and to cry.
"Get off me!"
He forcefully ripped my shorts off me and felt myself going numb, the pain I felt when he pushed himself inside me made me scream even louder. I know my mum can hear me so why isn't she helping me.
"Stop...please...please..."
My tears were streaming heavily as I pleaded with him to stop.
"PLEASE!"
He continued to punish me and all I felt was pain, he leant down and whispered into my ear.
"Naughty girls get punishments..."
I felt my whole body ache at that, I just wanted it to stop. For it all to be over, I want him to get off my body.  After he finished he left me feeling sick and cold and more alone than ever...

1 month later...
Whenever he's in the house, I'm not. I can't look at him, it repulses me. I've never felt so isolated in my entire life, I don't have my dad, I don't even have my mother anymore. I just want to run away, I never thought that my life could get worse but it did. I started to feel sick a few days ago, I thought it was just my normal pre-period sickness but when I checked my tracker I saw I was two weeks late. I've never been two weeks late in my entire life, I'm currently sitting in the school bathroom waiting for the test result of my pregnancy test. I hope I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant...I know it's been two minutes so I look down at the stick.
POSITIVE+