I Need Help (A Kokichi Oma Angst Fanfic) (Discontinued)

Chapter 9

A Mask That Hides Sadness

Warning
Attempted self harm
Kokichi Oma POV

I bolt up from my bed and cover my mouth. Sweat slowly falls down my face, I slowly get out of bed and head to the small living room.

Walking pretty quickly I head to the balcony we have and try to catch my breath. Tears were falling down my face, sweat as well. It was a so hard to breath...

The nightmare flashes back into my head, which made me cry more. Everything in the nightmare was very symbolic. It hurt to even thing about the things...

My eyes were red and tears stain My face. Tears still fell down my face. Stop crying Oma, Everything is o-okay... E-everything is a-alright... It- was just a nightmare-

..
.

No, it wasn't just a nightmare, it was real. Well, some of it, most of the bad things though... It still hurt after all this time.

I calm down just enough were I wasn't crying anymore, but was still scared. I head to the kitchen and grab a paper towel which I wash my face with. Looking up to see the clock, it read 5:00AM.

Looks like I got up a bit to early... Not my fault because of t-that stupid n-nightmare...

My eyes then land on the knifes. Metal was made to make these beautiful inventions, that was used for lots of things. Mostly for cutting things...
My hands grabs the handle of one of the small knifes and I clench on it. Cutting... Maybe I can...

I held the knife to my skin. The voice tells me to cut.. Voice keeps repeating to cut. Cut... Cut...

I drop the knife on the floor which made a loud noise. Shit! I quickly grab the knife and put it in the block and sprint to the couch and lay down.
I Close my eyes praying that they wouldn't notice.

I hear the door open and then footsteps. The footsteps continue until I couldn't hear them. A voice speaks.

"The hell was that?" I quickly recognized it as Fuyuhiko. Another voice speaks.

"I don't know..." The voice was obviously Ryoma. I then hear footsteps head to me...

"Hm? Why is Kokichi here?" The voice of Nagito says.
"Wait, what- oh..? Weird..." Fuyuhiko says. "What time did he come back? I didn't even see him" Nagito says.

"I don't really know, We went to bed I think at 10? Somewhere around that time..." The voice of Ryoma says.

"Well, let's not leave him sleeping on the couch! Nagito, can you carry him to his bed?" Fuyuhiko pleads.

Next thing you know, I'm being lift up in the hands of garbage. I really wanted to smack him on the face. But hey, at least they care- wait... Fuyuhiko was the one who said that.. But I thought he ha- nevermind..

I feel myself fall onto to the bed and a blanket onto me. Footsteps walk away from me and then I hear the door shut. I stay quiet for a bit until I decide to get up.

That was way to close Kokichi.... You almost got caught! And almost... Hurt yourself? Why did I even want to do that? And why did I stop last second?

Thoughts drifted around my mind as I got my clothes for school. (Maybe I should have mention this earlyer, but they are in their Ultimate Clothes, but with some of the students they don't wear them. They can wear them outside but it's better to wear regular clothes.)

I head to to the bathroom and take a quick shower, do my hair, and put my clothes on. As I got out of the shower, I head to the Living Room. Fuyuhiko, Ryoma, and Nagito were watching TV. "Hey Kokichi, what time did you come back?" Fuyuhiko says out of nowhere.

"Hm? Why you want to know Baby Face?" I questionably say. "Hey! Don't call me Baby Face!"

"Baby Face! Baby Face! Baby Face-" "Oma.. Please stop.." Nagito speaks.

"No~" I then continue to taunt Fuyuhiko until someone speaks up.

"Kokichi, sometimes I wonder why you taunt us. We haven't done anything to you, imagine our point our view. How would you like to be mocked, torment, and mess with for no reason? But... What can I do? It's not like you'll listen to my advice.." Ryoma sounded a little disappointed at the end of what he said. Why is he even telling me this stuff? I mess with people for the fun of it! It's not like I tell people to kill them self, I just play around with them since it's funny!..
..
.

______________________________________

Laughs were heard around me as I stood at the playground. All knew what they were doing... Words were thrown at me "Weak!" "Crybaby!" "Dirt!" The list continue on.. But someone was there that protected me...

"Leave my brother alone! He did nothing to you guys!"

______________________________________

"Yeah Yeah, I know old man!" I angrily say. Ryoma sighs and continue to read the newspaper.

The morning went like any other morning in the dorm. I annoyed them, do whatever else I do, and think...

Soon it starts to get closer to breakfast time and we all head out. Today was one of those day's I HAVE to be careful... My reason was that today I had just experience a nightmare, a bad nightmare that I should stop thinking of. Today... I'm going to have to lay down on the lying. I'm still going to be able to lie just... Not much.

Of course, Fuyuhiko goea to sit with his table, Nagito goes to sit with Hajime and his friends, Ryoma goes to sit with Korekiyo. As usually, I'm left behind. I spot Gonta and Chihiro sitting at a table.

"Hey Gonta and Chihiro!" I chirp while sitting next to them.

"Oh! Hey Kokichi! Gonta wonders how you are doing today?" Gonta cheerfully asks.

"I'm doing good!" I respond. "T-thats good!" Chihiro smiles.

You know, Some days I'm happy I'm a liar, other days I'm not. You can hide sadness, sorrow, and despair. It's basically a mask of Lies, Sadness, and Deception. I know it's bad to lie, but it protects you from the painful truth..
Maybe... Maybe one day I can tell the truth... One day... But that day isn't today..