Chapter 4: Argument

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As nighttime came, we made a fire and tried to warm up and get some sleep. I sit somewhere by myself.

"I thought we were immune." Minho says.

"Not all of us, I guess." Teresa says.

"If Winston can get it, then so can we." Newt adds.

"I never thought I'd say it...but I miss the Glade." Frypan admits as a tear streams down his cheek. He's right. I miss the Glade, too. We were all happy and not running away from danger that much. It was all peaceful. Now this.

I turn my head and see Newt looking at me. I look away cuz I know what he's thinking. I turn my head to him slowly and see him talking to Teresa. As they were talking, they looked at me for a few seconds and then kept talking. I could tell they were talking about me. I act normal and pretend that everything's okay.

I hear footsteps approaching. Newt walks over to me and sits next to me.

"Hey." he says to me.

"Hi." I answer, trying to keep a brave face.

"You doing okay? You haven't slept a wink since we've left the maze, have you?" Newt asks me in concern. God, I was tired of hearing that.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answer, almost snapping at him. I hated snapping at him, but this emotional pain I'm going through got the best of me. Newt wasn't buying it, he knows something's wrong.

"Are you sure? You've been isolating yourself, you haven't been getting anxious, you haven't been clinging onto me as much you did before, and you're keep saying that you're fine, but...I can see that you're not. If there's something wrong, you can talk me. I need you to be honest with me and trust me. Just like I was with you. And remember it's okay to cry. If you need to let it out, I'm here. Jacqui, come on, talk to me." Newt says as he tries to get me to talk. That was the last straw, I can't take it anymore.

"Newt, please stop that!" I snap at him.

"Stop what? I'm trying to help you and at least have a conversation with you. We haven't been talking to each other since everything that happened." Newt says to me in shock since he knows I would never act like this.

"Stop treating me like I can't handle anything on my own! Stop asking me if I'm okay. I am fine. I'm fine." I lash out.

"Jacqui...you're not fine. I can see it in your eyes that you're going through something. Remember you told me that we need to be honest with each other and trust each other. I trust you. And I was honest with you when I told you about my leg. I know you're not being honest with me. It's better to let your emotions out than bottle them up or it's gonna keep hurting you." he says to me trying to get through me. He's right. But I still can't admit what I'm going through.

"I...am...fine." I say to him while still keeping a brave face. Newt still wasn't buying it.

"Jacqui, you're not being honest with me. I'm trying to help you. Don't you trust me?" he asks me. I can see in his eyes that his feelings are hurt. I feel a wave of guilt over me.

"Newt, I do trust you. You know I do." I say looking in his eyes.

"Then why won't you talk to me? All I'm trying to do is help you and all you're doing is pushing me away." Newt has a point.

"I don't need help! I don't need any protection! There's nothing to talk about! Why are we even talking about this? I don't wanna argue with you!" I lash out.

"I don't wanna argue either, but all you're doing is pushing me away and I just wanna help you. If you keep avoiding me, I...I can't live without you. And you're not being honest with me. I'm asking you...for your honesty, Jacqui. I ask are you okay, you say you're fine. I offer to help, you say you don't need help. I try to hang out with you, but you push me away. When it comes to bad situations like Ben, the maze, Gally, the Griever attack, Chuck's death, you needed a shoulder to cry on. And now we're dealing with the same situations, and now you don't need a shoulder to cry on. It's worrying me. You're not being yourself. The Jacqui I know was always honest with me and always been clingy to me and always needed a shoulder to cry on. Now you're not you. You're taking everything okay and not accepting help. You're even holding back tears. Bloody hell, stop trying to be someone else. Please, bring back my Jacqui." Newt says wholeheartedly and trying to get through me. His words literally touched my heart, but I couldn't do it now.

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