The Usual Rules

Chapter 34

Rachel did not meet Dr Yang's eye. She knew that the woman was waiting for her to look up but she didn't. Emily and JJ were sitting in on this session and Rachel did not feel like talking right now. She snuck a look to her right and saw JJ and Emily watching her. Rachel quickly looked away.

"Shouldn't we..." JJ started.

"No." Dr Yang interrupted the blonde. "When she's ready, she'll talk, in the meantime you two are welcome to speak."

JJ nodded and sat up straighter in her chair. Rachel glued her gaze to the ground and picked at the pink nail polish Garcia had put on the day before. JJ had her first day back at work and Rachel had panicked again, Emily picked her up after lunch. She had a panic attack almost everyday in the last week and a half. She'd only lasted past lunch twice. She had gone and seen Dr Yang every single day since they had come back to DC. Rachel felt a lot better, she lasted longer and longer at school with every day, but there was still always a moment of sheer terror when she thought she would never see Emily or JJ ever again. She knew it wasn't rational, Dr Yang had told her so many times and in the back of her head, Rachel understood, but it was hard to remind herself in the moment.

"I guess I'm not sure where to start, or what to say really." JJ admitted, looking back and forth between Dr Yang and Rachel. "I...its just we've told her over and over that we love her, that we aren't going anywhere, I don't know how else to make her believe it."

"Rachel, what do you think about that?" Dr Yang asked. Rachel shrugged. "Can you use your words?"

"No thank you."

Emily smiled across JJ at Rachel. At least their kid was back to being polite.

"Rachel, please?" Dr Yang asked. "Why don't you tell them what we've been talking about?"

Rachel sighed and flicked some more nail polish to the ground. "I know you love me. I know you won't leave unless something bad happens like you die, I already know it, you don't have to worry." Rachel refused to look at either of her mothers or Dr Yang, it was too embarrassing. "I just...I just get scared."

"Of what Rachel?" Dr Yang prompted.

"Lots of stuff." Rachel said with a shrug. Dr Yang frowned at her and she groaned. "That a bad guy will kill you and I'll be alone again, but I know I can't worry about it and I know you'll try to come back it just takes me some time to remember."

Dr Yang watched Emily and JJ's faces as they listened to their daughter. Truthfully, the little girl was making a ton of progress and Dr Yang was sure that the three of them would be just fine. She was going to recommend that this be their last session unless it was an emergency further down the line. After talking to Rachel almost everyday, she knew that Rachel was alright. At this point it was more of a routine for Rachel to panic, than her actually panicking. Her lists had been helping quite a bit. Dr Yang was amused when Rachel told her of Spencer's idea. She simply wanted Emily and JJ to see that she was alright, once Rachel saw it clearly in their eyes, she would begin to believe it herself and things would go back to normal.

Emily and JJ listened closely to everything Dr Yang explained to them and breathed sighs of relief. If the professional said Rachel was fine, then they were going to trust her. Shaking her hand and thanking her more than they could ever really convey, the three Prentiss woman bade her goodbye.

"Can you see him?" Rachel whispered.

"Yes. I have him in my line of sight Rachel."

"Scarecrow! Code names Spence or will be found out!"

"What's my code name?" Reid asked.

"You're the Cowardly Lion." Jack explained.

"What! I am not cowardly I demand a different code name."