A Wolf's Desires

13.

Andrew.

"No let me go!"  Those were the first words that rung out in my head, I didn't know what happened after, it was a hazy memory but I could feel it in my bones literally, I fell down the stairs, I broke my leg, I hit my head then nothing.

The memories were playing out in my head like a movie, I wondered what my father thought would happen when he said he would beat the gay out of me, was I supposed to feel differently, to love differently, or rather be a different person altogether, would it even make sense though, conversion therapy has one in hundred chances of working.

So maybe he thought he would apply it on me and have results, I chuckled bitterly to the thought, how could he easily push me over, easily let me go, and not feel an ounce of guilt, was I even worth anything to my parents now that they knew I was gay, would it even matter anyway, I hated them, and I wished karma the old hag would visit them.

My hatred stemmed from a lot of things, my childhood, up until now was orchestrated by them, I did everything they wanted and for once when I didn't do what they wanted, when I chose to follow my own heart and love who I wanted they tossed me to the side because I wasn't the chess piece anymore.

.
It hurt deeply but I couldn't do anything about it, I was too powerless for it, the only thing I wanted was to just be in my mates arms and hold on to him for support, for reassurance that life would get better, for the love I knew he always had for me, that's all I wanted and nothing more.

                                "Hey sweetheart how you feeling?" The voice in my head spoke and it creeped me out, I could hear Mrs. Everlin in my head. I began to recall what Linden told me about the pack, a mind link was in place that connected everyone who was part of the pack, but how was I part of it.                 "You're Train's mate, sweetie, remember that." She reminded and I mentally facepalmed.

If I could hear her did it mean I was awake, had I survived my fall, and where was I, I began to panic, I wanted to know where I was if only I could open my eyes and see where I was, why was it so hard. "Andie calm down baby, calm down sweetheart, the doctor is removing the bandages don't worry calm down." Mrs. Everlin soothed me like a mother.

Was that how it felt to have a mother care for you, did it feel warm and protective, did it make your insides warm and fuzzy, like you could depend on her to be there, to love you unconditionally, that's how I felt like when she calmed me down, I felt safe and perfectly okay like she would chase the bad things that haunted me away.

                                "Where am I?" I focused my thought on Mrs. Everlin. "The pack infirmary, the doctor is just about done so don't fret." She replied and I waited as I felt the weight lift from my eyes, I opened them all too soon, my senses were overwhelmed. It was too bright, so I closed my eyes and groaned looking to the side.

"Lex darling close the shutters." She spoke sweetly to her husband. "Yes, dear." Mr. Everlin replied and they reminded me of Linden and Emric, they were always so loving and caring, it was sickeningly sweet and I loved every moment of it because Train and I were sickeningly sweet as well. 

Where was he, where is my mate, I called out to him, he had come to rescue me that was obvious since I was at the pack infirmary, but then shouldn't he be by my side. "Train." I mumbled through the link focusing on him but it seemed I couldn't get through, did he close our link again.

                                    "Train?" I directed my thoughts to Mrs. Everlin and she smiled. "He's asleep in the next room honey, he was restless and tried to keep himself up but between healing you and all that happened, well it caught up to him so he's sleeping." Her response made little sense, how was he tired from healing me.

                                      "What do you mean, healing me, and what happened?" I questioned looking at Mr. Everlin who smiled making me blush, he was just as beautiful as his sons, damn come to think of it the Everlin family was a seriously beautiful family Linden included, he looked like a supermodel, I mentally banged my head for going off-topic.

"Oh don't worry Train will tell you when he wakes up, but why don't we talk about wolves, do you know anything?" Mr. Everlin asked looking charming as always.     "Yes I do know, Linden and Emric told me and gave me through wolf 101, and I read everything from the books he gave me, this is Ryeland Pack territory." I replied through the link feeling proud of myself for learning and also because my throat was dry.

"Well it seems the boys got you educated on wolves then, thank the Goddess for that because the speech about wolves is long and hard and honestly boring if the person decides to panic and faint over and over again, really stressful stuff." Mr. Everlin rambled on making me smile and his mate chuckle.

"It's okay sweetheart, I know." Mrs. Everlin placed a kiss on his cheek, they were so in love it was practically rolling off them. "What I meant by healing you, it's more of a connection between the two of you, honey you had a broken leg and well you hit your head several times on the stairs causing major damage to your head, the fall you had would've resulted in you being in a coma or death." She sighed and I knew she was trying to get rid of the thoughts of death.

"But luckily you called out just in time for Train to hear you and come rescue you, though you had already fallen the healing kicked in quickly because he was close to you, what I'm trying to say is, Train is a wolf right, he heals at an astonishing rate, you being human well you heal at a slower pace, when you mated with Train, yeah the whole process, you share his healing and reflexes, and at times more but it depends on the mates most of the time." She explained and everything suddenly made sense.

                                 "So he's drained and asleep because he's healing me, my leg and my head, almost all my injuries " I questioned and she nodded. "Yeah, it's why your leg has already healed halfway through, you just need to stay off it for a day or two for it to completely heal, plus with the surgery, you underwent the doctor confirmed that your head was already healing by the time they finished." Mr. Everlin was the one who responded shocking me but it was true.

My body was sore that was for sure but my head was perfectly fine, and when I should've felt pain, it wasn't there, tears began to well up in my eyes as I remembered why I was in that bed, and why I didn't feel pain, Train had rescued me from my parents who didn't care about me and now he was taking my pain away, I felt undeserving of his love.

He had been through so much and here I was adding more to the pile, I didn't want to hurt him anymore, I loved him, I truly loved him, and him taking the pain I was supposed to feel made me feel so guilty. We were supposed to share this pain, he wasn't supposed to take it all on himself, that's what mates did, they shared in everything.

"Oh, honey." Mrs. Everlin hugged me from the bed and I let out all my pain and fear, the fear of never seeing Train again, of never seeing Linden and his kids, the fear of not growing old with the man I loved, I had felt that fear rolling down the stairs but now I was safe, I was okay and all I wanted more than anything was Train.

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LMJ