"Cause if you let me,
here's what I'll do
I'll take care of you"
Allaya is just a girl from the Caribbean trying to make it in NYC. She's too busy going after everything she's ever wanted to be bothered with the drama that comes with love and relat...
I try to do right, but everything I do seems to go wrong
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My pulse pounded in my ear, while my eyes remained peeled open within the darkness of my room. I rolled over and tucked the crisp white sheet under my arm to view the neon green numbers from my alarm clock.
4:23 am.
Not a wink of sleep since I crawled into bed at midnight. Between the loud ass crickets and my even louder thoughts, my brain was working overtime.
What if I did leave?
Did I trust my employees enough to hold things down? I wouldn't be gone completely, I could manage the logistics and admin work from a remote location and do bimonthly visits. It wouldn't be the same though - as walking around, touching things, and talking to people.
Lilo was already use to this lifestyle too, a little raggamuffin at heart. The beach was her favorite place to go, a stray dog was her bestie, and her favorite food were the mangoes that grew in her Gigi's backyard.
It was rather difficult to process anything. Torn between being a good mother and remaining true to myself.
Sitting up, I placed my face in my hands and held it there. Angry stinging tears formed in my eyes, I refused to release them. I didn't even know who I was angry at. It shouldn't be Dave, he had a right to be upset.
Still though.
That didn't excuse how he talked to me. Ordering me around, telling me what to do with my life.
No one - man or woman, would ever dictate what I built.
I got up slowly and stretched my back. Then slipped on my robe over my pajama shorts and tank top, to go check on Lilo. She slept peacefully, surrounded by the white crochet blanket that her Gigi made, and protected by her best friend who snored loudly on the floor.
Looking down at her, I smiled. She would always come first. I'd giver her the moon and the stars if she asked for them. I can't believe I never wanted kids, now I couldn't imagine my life without her.
My lips touched her warm forehead briefly, then I left her to rest.
I turned on the hallway lights downstairs and opened up my back door to sit on the patio. Almost immediately the warm, salty air surrounded my face while the inky sky littered with thousands of stars and the large crescent moon stared down at me. Lilo and I spent a lot of nights out here. She was a night owl like me, and often times the only way to get her to sleep was to walk the beach with her in my arms.
