The Influence | Colby Brock

Chapter 9: Heart to Heart

I lay across my bed, trying my best to keep my mind off of Colby. I haven't spoken to him in a week. I feel bad that I'm leaving him in the dark, but how am I supposed to look at him. He isn't good for me. Especially if he's popping pills. I just can't look at him and see him the same.

A knock at my door breaks me from my thoughts. Ethan walks in with a piece of pizza. He smiles at me, sitting down next to me. I lean up and take the plate from him. "Have you-"

"No," I say quietly, biting into the pizza.

"Kat, I know you're probably all moody and shit because of lady issues, but you have to talk to him." I roll my eyes at Ethan's response.

"Actually, no I'm not in my lady feels, I'm just-" I stop talking, looking at my phone. October 26. I missed my period. My eyebrows furrow for a moment, before I realize what it could mean.

"What?" Ethan asks me. I put the plate down, opening my period app. 6 days late reads across my screen.

"I- I missed my period." I whisper. My heart begins to beat faster. My mind goes back three weeks, remembering that we didn't use any protection, he didn't even pull out.

"You're not," he trails off.

"I don't know. I've always been regular and I- I mean, we didn't use protection. What if-"

"I'll go get you a test. Stay right here, make sure mom doesn't know anything. It'll be okay," he hugs me, kissing my head softly. I can feel my hands shaking as my heart pounds harder.

Ethan leaves my room, shutting the door loudly as he leaves. I push the pizza away, wiping away a tear that had fallen.

***

Thirty minutes go by in a flash, my door opens again, this time it's not Ethan. Colby peeks his head into my door. I lean up from my bed, turning my head away as I wipe all the tears on my cheeks. "Kat?" He says softly. He walks in, standing above me.

"Why are you here? Did my mom let you in?" I ask him, turning my head to him. His face drops when he sees me.

"She did, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have came-"

"It's fine. I shouldn't have ghosted you like that," I look down.

"It's my fault. I yelled at you, for no reason. I know you just want to help me, I know that. I just can't-"

"Kat, why is Colby-" Ethan walks into my room, stopping when he sees Colby.

"I came by to," his eyes fall to Ethan's hands, where he is holding the pregnancy test. "Oh," he says in whisper. I get up, getting the test from Ethan. I glance at Colby before I go into my bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I can hear mummers through the door. I lean over the sink, taking a deep breath. I open the box, grabbing one of the tests, reading it open. I sit down on the toilet, putting the test below me as I pee.

I finish, putting the cap on the test, setting it on the bathroom counter.

I wash my hands quickly before I open the door. Both of the boys are sitting on my bed, staring at me. "What?" I ask nonchalant.

"What do you mean'what'?" Colby asks.

"I mean, why are you staring at me." I roll my eyes.

"Are you pregnant?" Ethan asks me.

"I don't know, I have to wait a few minutes." I set my timer on my phone for five minutes and sit down in my vanity chair.

"Kate if y-"

"I'm not, Colby." I glance at him through my mirror.

"I'll kick your ass if she is," Ethan whispers to him. His eyes widen slightly as I roll mine.

"I'm not, so everyone just take a chill pill while we wait." I tell them. Colby sighs, laying back on my bed. Ethan keeps his eyes on the bathroom door, his leg bouncing with anxiety.

I keep myself distracted by braiding my hair over and over again. I don't need a baby, especially not with Colby. I'm not even sure if I still want to be with him. The anger, drugs, and his bad boy demeanor isn't attractive anymore. It just worries me. What if I'm pregnant? He won't want a baby. He won't stay with me. He'll probably just run. Far far away.

The timer goes off. I jump from the noise, both Ethan and Colby jump up. I get up slowly, walking back into my bathroom. I pick the test up, studying it. I sigh in relief when I see only one line on the test.

"What? What is it?" Colby asks, leaning over my shoulder.

"I'm good." I laugh. My heart slows down as my nerves calm. That was a close call. I still don't understand why I'm so late. It definitely could of been stress. But, I doubt Colby made me stress that hard.

"God that scared me." Ethan laughs beside us.

"Now that that's over with, can we talk Katelyn? Alone," Colby glances at Ethan.

I nod my head, looking at Ethan, mentally telling him to leave. Ethan nods at us and leaves the room, shutting the door quietly.

I sit on my bed, Colby following me.

"Look, I know I fucked up, okay?" Colby takes my hand soft, caressing the top of it with his thumb as he looks down at them. "And I know you probably don't understand why I did what I did." He looks at me, his eyes are watery.

"Colby," I sigh.

"No, wait, let me finish," he stops me, "You're the best thing that has happened to me in a really long time. And I know that it sounds cheesy, but you made me remember how it felt to be happy. I use the parties and all the alcohol and drugs to push away everything else I feel. The truth is that I'm a weak person. And that's so embarrassing. I don't want to be weak, I don't want to play some dumb role of a boy who doesn't do shit. I want to be," he pauses, "normal." His eyes stay away from mine as I watch him.

"But why the pills, Colby? I don't care if you have a few drinks and smoke a blunt, but everything else can lead to so much worse."

He looks at my window, before bringing his head back to me, "I just wanted to feel something. Now, I know it's dumb and I know that there's more to life than meds that aren't even mine. And I don't want to risk our relationship just to get a rush. I don't want to risk losing you." A tear falls from his eye. I start to feel my own welp up. I bring his into me, hugging him tightly. His head stays on my shoulder as he sniffles quietly.

"I'm not going to give up that easily," I tell him, "you don't have to give up that easily."