The Influence | Colby Brock

Chapter 10: False Negative

A/N: this chapter will include graphic comtent of self harm and suicide. Trigger warning to all my fighters and survivors. I love you all and we got this ❤️ I will put an end trigger at the end of the scene

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I stare down at my wrist in disgust. The water from the shower washes over my body as I sit in the floor, trying to retain from my addiction.

I deserve pain. I deserve to feel hated. I deserve to bleed.

It's cold enough outside for me to wear long sleeves without suspicion. A couple won't hurt me. I open my shower curtain, looking at the drawer across from me. Nobody would notice small ones.

I pull myself up, leaning out the shower. I open the drawer and grab a face razor. My one exclusively meant for cutting. I close the curtain behind me. I grip the razor in my hand, balling my opposite fist. I apply pressure to the top of my wrist, slowly moving down my arm. Only a couple inches, not too deep either. If I do them without a theme, making sure to make them random, nobody will suspect it. I can say that Imani's cat did them. Or even say that a twig cut me while I was outside. It's easy to hide when you have experience.

I feel the stinging start, blood slowly creeps out of the small slice. I sigh in relief, putting my arm under water.

I make another small cut, this time on my hand. I'll make it seem like I reached down to grab something, and thorns caught my hand.

I make another cut, right below my thumb. I get carried away, going farther and deeper than I would like. I bite my lip when the pain begins. I deserve it though.

* end TW *

My phone starts ringing, causing me to drop the razor at my feet. I groan and roll my eyes, putting it on a shelf in my shower. I turn the shower off and quickly grab a towel, picking my phone up at the same time. Colby is trying to FaceTime me, I'm not surprised but it was the worst timing possibly. I hold my arm close to me, then answer the call.

"Sorry I just got out the shower," I give him a fake smile. He smiles back, I can tell he's high. His eyes are glassed over, red and squinted. I open my door as he begins to speak, "Without me?" He chuckles.

"That's such a fuckboy thing to say." I giggle. I put him down on my bed as I grab clothes to sleep in.

"At least let me see a little something." He begs. I roll my eyes to myself, ignoring his request. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry." He laughs

"Anyways," I say avoiding the subject, "Are you still coming over tomorrow?" I pick the phone back up after dressing.

"Yeah, as of right now the plan is a-okay." He smiles.

"Your parents are still leaving?" I ask him curiously. Not because I want to have sex, but because I was genuinely curious.

"Yeah, some family reunion thing." He shrugs, "do you want to come here or me come to you?" He asks.

"Well, it's Friday so you know, Ethan will be gone with football and my mom will be out with her friends. So it doesn't matter." I tell him.

"I'll just come to you." He tells me, eating some chips.

"Okay," I sigh, "I'm about to go to sleep, I'll talk to you tomorrow?" I ask him.

He nods, "goodnight, baby." He smiles, kissing me through the phone. I laugh and do the same.

I press end and climb into bed, smiling to myself. Colby never fails to make me happy. We've been together for two months and it's been great, other than the incident from a couple weeks ago. Thankfully, I did get my period. Well, kind of. I spotted for a couple days and then it went away. A period is better than no period.