When You Smile (Engineering Student #3)

Chapter Nine

Chapter 9

My lips parted while looking at her. I am more concern at her now that she heard everything, yeah I think she heard all of it. Base na rin sa mga luha niya.

After few seconds, she started walking away from us. Agad ko siyang sinundan, hindi ko na rin binalingan pa ang gagong si Thirdy. Mas nag-aalala ako kay Lei.

I witnessed how she's serious with her past relationships. Oo, seryoso siya sa mga ito pero nagagawa pa rin siyang saktan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Marahil ang mga lalaki, pare-pareho lang talaga—manloloko. Sorry to generalize but that's what I think as of now.

She's serious with all of her relationship but this is my first time seeing her like this. She's totally broken and devastated. Mahal na mahal niya si Thirdy.

"Lei..." I called her. Dumeretso siya sa room namin at agad na inayos ang bag, handa na ata umalis.

I heard her sobs. Mariin akong napapikit.

"Lei, I'm—"

"Pagalitan mo na ako. Sabihin mo na sa akin na sana nakinig na lang ako sa iyo noon. Tell me that it was so wrong to love him..." she said. "Tell me that I did the wrong c-choice."

"Oo na. Kasalanan ko na," she added.

"Hindi mo kasalanan, Lei."

She shook her head.

"No, it's my fault. Masyado akong umasa. Masyado akong umasa na... m-mamahalin niya rin ako kagaya ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya." nakatalikod siya sa akin ngayon. Gustuhin ko man na yakapin siya, hindi ko magawa dahil maging ako, nanghihina na rin para sa kanya.

"I thought... he loves me. Cas, he told me he loves me. He's so very sweet to me. But then, why? Why all of a sudden, ayaw na niya? He told me that he is guilty. Guilty? Saan? Bakit? Kung guilty siya, ibig sabihin... h-hindi totoo? Hindi totoo na mahal niya ako? Was he lying when he said he loves me?"

Now that I can see her face clearly, and I can clearly tell... she's really broken.

"Ibig sabihin noong una pa lang... hindi niya talaga ako mahal?" she almost whispered.

I remained silent, looking for words.

"Bakit? Hindi ba ako kamahal-mahal—"

"No," agap ko.

"But why?!" she shouted.

"Bakit... palagi na lang ako nasasaktan? Bakit palagi na lang nila ako sinasaktan? Palaging niloloko? Gusto ko lang naman magmahal at masuklian din ng pagmamahal. Ano bang ginawa ko sa kanila at sinasaktan nila ako?" Lei ranted.

I immediately hug her. I am lost for words too. One thing I want to do, I want to protect her.