Rantman

22

As a nihilist, I found it strange that I still get nervous around others, still care about my impression, still care about the things I do and whether they are right or wrong, even when nothing matters in the end. And then I realized, it may not matter in the end, but it matters today. And tomorrow.

Animals leave a much worry-free and happy life than us, because they don't have the capability to think of the very far off future, and very far off space and lands. The fact is that we humans bit off more than we could chew when we thought there could be a purpose to life, a purpose that goes beyond living life itself.

I'm not sure if I'm able to convey what I realized earlier. I'm trying. But despite our knowledge that in the long run there is nothing we can do that'll be memorable and impactful, we still care about our day to day life, still keep our present situation in mind and try to improve and enjoy it. We still listen to a new song, even though it'll be forgotten soon enough. We still enjoy a movie or a show even if it is just a slapstick comedy of no significance. If that moment doesn't need a purpose, a significance in the long-term, then why can't we accept the same with life??

I feel that life too is an everlasting moment. Yes its long, and many times it feels meaningless, boring, despairing, terrible, hard etc. But the purpose of life is not some grandiose goal or achievement to accomplish, it is the experience of life in itself. It is to live and enjoy the song of life that you are trying to make, along with others making their own song. And sometimes the notes may clash with others, but other times it will form a rare symphony. But even alone, you shine and play out your masterpiece. Because this is not for any audience, but for yourself. For your own pleasure or pain. Many of us were given broken instruments, many of us have a bad ear or no training in the music this song needs, many of us have notes that clash too much with the world's cacophony. But, you have time. And as long as you manage to survive, one day you will be satisfied with the song you composed, and enjoy its melody till its inevitable end.