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✧*。
Dear Jimin,
I sat by the window of my room, the other hand holding my notebook and the other is holding a pen that became the way of expressing the ecstatic feeling overflowing within me.
It's been a long time since I stared lovingly at the shining stars that spread through the darkness of the night wearing the smile that can't seem to leave my lips for a while. It's the first time that even the harsh words from my mother and the drunk form of my father didn't even affect me a bit. It's the first time that this house I called hell became as beautiful as those mansions in a subdivision for wealthy families.
It's like I've been saved for being blind in appreciating the creations of the world, opening my eyes to see the light after a whole lifetime of walking in a dark path.
This seldom happens. First, when your gaze first bore on me. And second... Of course, it's because of you again.
After the last class in morning classes, I headed to the back of the College building. The bruise on my cheek is still evident the reason why I wore a hoodie to at least cover my face. Not that anyone cares anyway.
There's a two-meter cement at the back of the building and I usually eat my lunch there. I didn't really feel like eating so I just sat there, earphones on my ears. I removed the hoodie that's covering my face and let my long, black hair dance with the wind.
This is one of those times that I get really emotional. Being jealous of the group of birds chirping or the trees and flowers who face the strong wind together. Getting jealous of the fact that they're just a creation who can't even think and talk like me but at least they face uncertainties together while I'm here, have no one to talk to or a person who can be with me just to let ourselves be drown into a peaceful silence.
I wish to be just like them. Free.
I picked a flower in front of me and put it in my left ear. I cracked a small smile thinking that at least I feel like I'm one of them when I'm here. I can see how beautiful their life everyday. They stay in one place but they're together.
But again... How can I be punished like this?
Tears started following down my cheeks as I recalled all the times the world turned its back on me. Noisy sobs escaped my lips. My heart is burning with pain and regret. Regret that I have to live and suffer like this. It would be nice if didn't exist.
Long minutes have passed when I managed to pull myself together. And that's when I heard a sweet voice.
"This is really a good place to cry, I see."
I roamed my gaze around and that's when I see you. Just a few meters away under the tree, your back is leaning against it and you're sitting on the grass. My heartbeat quickened and my feelings became as messy as my mind.
I was about to stand up and gather my things when you talked.
"And sleeping here is not a good idea when someone's here crying herself out." You said. I became nervous. Did I irritate you? Did I wake you up?
"I- I'm sorry to d-disturb you. I... I'll just go so you c-can sleep..." It's almost like a whisper but loud enough for you to hear. My lips quivered as I thought about you hating me.
"No... Stay." You said, now seriousness painted on your face. I was taken a back. I avoided your gaze. I sat back at the cement. Silently obeying you.
Silence stretched between us. Only the dancing of the trees and grass and the delicate touch of the warm wind is keeping me from being aware that I'm conscious.
It was a great and the most precious silence I've ever experienced. You under a tree and me, feet on the grass with flowers and hands clasped together as my heart created a rhythm of it beating fast.
♪ All this is no coincidence Just, just my own feeling
As your angelic voice lingered on my ears, I felt myself relaxed as I slowly looked at you. You were staring with a smile on your face.
♪Just, just from your happiness When you called me, I I am your flower Like I've been waiting for it, We bloomed dazzlingly ♪
I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. I tried to forget the warmth that slowly covering my entirety. I tried to not awknowledge the familiarity I felt when I heard your voice. But I failed. Because right there... I saw myself falling deeper. I saw myself letting me fall into the trap.
It is almost like the destiny of the universe It's just how it is, you know I know You are me, and I am you ♫
I looked down and played with my fingers that's sitting on my lap. I gritted my teeth as I stopped myself from thinking to much. Before this moment will end, I will cherish it. Because I know, after this... I will wake up.
"You know... It's okay to feel the pain. It's okay to cry. When you're alone and you needed someone to talk to... Just remember that you have yourself. Don't fail it. When you feel like the world is against you... remember that stars won't be as beautiful as it is without darkness. Remember that in order for a flower to bloom, it must be watered. In order for you to distinguish the light, you must know how darkness felt."
That's the last thing you told me before you close your eyes and let the moment sway you to sleep. I sat there still stunned.
And that's when I realized... Every pain I received... Every tear I shed... It all end up with happiness. The world that's giving me hard time also gave me you who keeps me sane.
Jimin... Tell me... Is there a reason that I know your name?
Yours Truly, Rosie
__ hi. I'm sorry, my head's kind of messy. I have so much plan for this chapter. I wrote half of this yesterday but I got distracted with the news of Yoongi. I can't take it off my head. I really want to publish this chapter hoping that it might also be of help for you to feel better. again, I'm sorry for this. I really suck at managing my emotions. please take care. love lots.
this is not edited and this is probably the longest chapter yet, sorry for it. I hope you still enjoy. I apologize for all the errors.
