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✧*。
Dear Jimin,
It's been a few weeks since your angelic voice filled my wounded ears. It's been weeks since you put words in my head, helping me to cope up with blurry things that might come ahead.
And I am thankful that there's no drop of tear left my eyes since then.
It was clear. You became my healing sanctuary. You became my escape to reality. You became the rainbow to my black and white life.
It's horrifying thinking that my feelings, my calmness and my happiness depends on a person who might disappear anytime. It's scary that I can never tell if you'll leave because you didn't even stayed in the first place. I'm scared but it also made me feel safe.
I was enchanted by the way your eyes hid everytime you smile, the way you push your hair up and lick your lips as a habit made me adore you even more.
While my world began to be drown to the music in my ears, I let myself completely lost just by watching you from a far while playing your favorite game. I hope I can come nearer and cheer for you without thinking about anything else.
Another sweet smile stretched on my lips. I looked at my hands and pinch it, reminding myself to not cross the line. I took a last glance at you before turning my back to leave.
As I walked slowly heading home, I sighed thinking about what's ahead of me. It was like a routine in my being to worry about bad things that might happen whenever I see myself walking on my way home. Pain tends to visit me the second I start smiling. Storm tends to mess up with my already messed up life after I was given a chance to take a glimpse of my rainbow.
And oh, I was right.
After I watched the beautiful sunset, darkness welcomed me to another frightening starless night.
And my shaking hands proved it as I hugged myself, trying to erase the memory of a dirty and disgusting hands caressing my body with lust.
