Under the Sky of Diamonds | ✔︎

THIRTY-SIX

"HIJA, okay ka lang ba talaga? Ang putla-putla mo. May masakit ba sa 'yo?" nag-aalalang tanong ni Tita habang matiim na nakatingin sa akin, lalo na sa mga mata ko na alam kong namumugto.

I forced a smile at her before shaking my head.

"O-Okay lang po ako," sagot ko. "Si Crinx po?" pag-iiba ko ng usapan.

She smiled at me before answering.

"Hayon at nagwawala parin sa kaniyang kwarto, pero noong sinabi kong nandito ka na at susunduin kita, hayon kahit papaano, huminahon siya," kwento sa akin ni Tita.

Tumango na lang ako sa kaniya at sumunod.

While walking, my mind was wandering and I couldn't keep Xydrien out of my mind. The look he has earlier. How he pleaded. How he cried and asked me to choose him over Crinx.

Namuo ang luha sa mga mata ko at nagkaroon ng bara ang lalamunan ko. Millions of needles pierced my heart. I badly want to choose him. I really do. But I just couldn't. How I wish I could. I cleared my throat before blinking my eyes numerous times to preclude myself from crying.

I've been crying the whole ride and I can't allow myself to cry more. I breathe in before breathing out deeply.

Focus, Eirysia. Focus. Mamaya mo na isipin si Xydrien.

Tita opened the door and a groan immediately welcomed us. Pagkapasok ko ay narinig ko na ang pagsigaw ni Crinx.

"Don't touch me, motherfucker! Don't fucking touch me and don't you dare inject me that fucking liquid!" I heard him scream.

As I entered the room and saw him struggling to get out from the hold of the five male nurses trying to calm him down.

"Sir, 'wag po kayong malikot."

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Fuck it!" He struggled again.

I just stared at the scenario in front of me. I can't speak. I can't utter anything. I can't find my voice. Most of all, I couldn't feel anything. I feel emotionless. I feel numb all of the sudden.

Doon ko nakitang dumalo na rin ang nanay niya para pakalmahin siya.

"Anak! Huminahon ka!" ani Tita.

Noong narinig niya ang boses ng kaniyang ina, tumigil sa pagpupumiglas si Crinx. The angry face he held a while ago changed into an expecting one.

"Mom, you're here!" he exclaimed. "How about . . . where is Eirysia . . ." he trailed before slowly looking at the entrance.

Pagkakita niya sa akin, nanlaki ang mga mata niya. He smiled from ear to ear upon seeing me, but I can't return his smile.

I can't smile anymore.

"Eirysia!"

Mabilis ang naging paggalaw niya at kumawala sa mga nurse na may hawak sa kaniya. He jumped out off the bed before running towards me and hugging me tightly.

"Oh god, you're here. You're really here!" he happily said before sniffing my hair.

I just stood there like a post. I didn't even hug him back. I . . . I just don't have any energy left.

Kumalas siya sa pagyakap sa akin noong hindi ako yumakap pabalik. Nagtataka siyang tumingin sa akin at noong nakita nito ang itsura, agad na kumunot ang noo niya.

"Wait, did you cry?" he asked before cupping my face.

There's no reaction. Wala na 'yong kuryente. Wala ng epekto sa akin 'yong hawak niya.

Umiling ako bago iniwas ang mukha ko.

"You look fine. Kumusta ka na?" pag-iiba ko ng usapan at itinuon ang pansin sa kamay niya.