Allea

thirty-one

"Why don't you invite your friends this time?"

"David and Mike?" He looked at me with wide eyes, the fork in his hand titled in an odd direction, as he stared at me with -how-did-I-even-suggest-such-a-thing. When I didn't respond and just rolled my eyes with a hum, he yelled, "No! They are a nuisance."

"Kai." I voiced with an edgy scolding tone, "You don't talk behind someone's back and then also associate yourself with them. Where did you get this conceitedness?" I turned to look at him, he had a sheepish look, as he stuffed his mouth with bacon so he didn't have to answer but I still heard the 'you' he mumbled under his breath.

"Let's get this clear, are they your friends or not?"

At my question, he raised his eyes to meet mine, and seeing that I was expecting an answer from him, he reached for the glass of juice to gulp down the mouthful food. Shaking my head at his silliness, I focused on eating my breakfast, giving him time to swallow the food.

"You know how they are, so sticky and just..." He paused, his eyes moving between me and his breakfast plate, on later his gaze paused and I heard him whisper, "Yeah, they are, I guess."

"So, don't be like this, okay?"

"Okay," He mumbled meekly and proceeded to ask or more like changed the topic, "When will Jackson come?"

"Next week, hopefully before your birthday. "

Kai isn't like how he's with me or even Elijah toward others, I know Kai finds it hard to make new people a part of his life, he's afraid of attachments but in previous years he started growing out of his shell and tried to make friends. David and Mike were the first ones who approached him, I could see that in the beginning, he was closed off but through years they stuck with him, and even joined the high school with him so that Kai wouldn't be alone. I have met them, and (excluding the background check I did on them, which I'm guilty of) I could observe the pureness hidden behind their actions, they truly considered Kai their friend. Still, after all these years I could feel that Kai was still wary. Yet at rare moments I could sense his subtle effort in trying to open himself to them, through the way he talks about his friends.

"Don't change the topic. Invite Mike and David to your birthday, okay?" Facing away from me, he gave a slight nod. Earning a positive response from him, I nudged him to eat breakfast, otherwise, he would be late for school.

I don't like to push Kai for anything, but I think five years are enough for him to feel comfortable with others. I agree with what Jackson said last night, seeing me behaving distant to everyone, Kai's picking some of my personality traits. I have tried to educate myself, to teach him proper things and have a good influence on him, I have tried to change myself, my thinking. I have stopped doing and saying a lot of things so that this child wouldn't have those bad habits because of me, but how I deal with the outside world wasn't one of those things and he has to pick this one particular thing. For a long time, I wanted him to invite his friends to the party and tried to say subtly every year but he refused bluntly and insist on having just me, Elijah, and Jackson. Finally, he agreed this year even if it was the result of my push, I hope he just doesn't pull any dumb excuse later to avoid inviting them.

With a sigh, my lips curved into a slight smile, as I peeked at Kai, who was now like myself done with his breakfast as we both made our way out of the mansion. He didn't forget to make me conscious of the experience -once again for the hundredth time- that how bad he still, to this day, was being ridiculed in the school for wearing the custom-made dress with Elijah pictures on race. I, of course, knew he was feigning, just to gain a point of consolation, after building his image of beating up the bullies no one ever again dared to make fun or stand against him.