Far From Perfect || Tronnor

5: Elementary Girls

I didn't get my English essay done. I literally could not focus after what had happened with Connor and his friends. Maybe I was making it to be a bigger deal than it actually was, but for me, it was life changing. I didn't like people, and for the one new person in my life that I actually tolerated just being gone, I had lost a lot of confidence for myself to find a friend/boyfriend. I mean if I couldn't go out and actually meet people because of this goddamn 'Safety Zone" rule, how the hell was I supposed to find 'the one'?

Instead of getting the essay done the day after, I decided to spend some time with my actual friends. I knew that I should've got the damn essay done before, but that was obviously not going to happen with my thoughts running around wildly. I thought that if I spend some quality time with the people in my life that truly mean something to me, I might be able to distract myself from Connor and his clique. Boy was I ever wrong (like always).

Zoe and I had finished our English class on the Thursday morning. She and I walked out of the classroom and hallway in silence. When she finally spoke up she said, "Hey, today we are doing dance in Phys. Ed so maybe you wouldn't mind coming to it?" And the way she said it, so hopefully like a little kid, made it impossible to say 'no'.

I smiled at her innocence. "Okay, I guess. But if I have to do a lot of physical activity, you owe me the most expensive starbucks drink I can think of," I negotiated.

"Thats fine," She responded, "And Troye? I don't know why, but you seem kind of distant today. Is there something on your mind?" Damn Zoe and her friendship skills; she is way too good at this, it makes me look bad.

I scratched my head, trying to come up with a way to explain the situation to her in the middle of the school hallway. I decided on my best option. "Ya, something like that. Look Zoe, how about you, me, and Tyler just hang out or something after school that way I can tell you both at least in relative privacy," I said.

She looked at me with knowing eyes. "That sounds good. We will meet at my place and watch movies or something. After you can tell me about this certain thing," She informed. I loved Zoe because her assertiveness was perfectly balanced with her timidness. "But for now, TroyeSivan, I believe you and I have a class to get to."

Phys. Ed was actually not that bad. I mean it was still quite bad, but not nearly as bad as it usually was. I didn't have gym clothes, but seeing as all we were supposed to be doing was dancing, I figured I wouldn't need them that bad. It didn't really matter because even if I did have my gym clothes, I would've never worn them. I have enough smarts to know that my unathletic, skinny legs don't go with baggy basketball shorts.

When I walked into the gymnasium and saw the gym teacher, I realized that I've missed so many classes that I haven't even bothered finding out what her name is. She was always just "teacher" to me.

The teacher was quite surprised to see me.She mumbled something about this being the first time in Phys. Ed with me since last year's dance unit. I might not enjoy dance like some people, but I did take pride in being able to do it better than most people.

We started off with the ballroom dances that we learned the year before. I saw a group of newbies trying to understand the basic footwork of the dance. I laughed under my breath because they looked so damn awkward. And then I thought, really? Who am I to be judging who is awkward?

Zoe and I danced for the most part. The teacher might have been a bitch, but she was at least a nice enough of a bitch to let us choose our own partners. Unfortunately, however, it had to be a straight pairing. She said that people who dance with the same gender are weird and improper. I literally cannot stress the density of homophobia in this school. The rudest part was how she was practically looking right at me the whole time she said that. Her glare just made me want to curl up in a hole and die. That's what hate and bullying can do to a person. It can make them ashamed of who they are; something that they have literally no control over.