Behind Your Walls

05 | the girlfriend

A circus and the raindrops falling around us are the audiences.

It is like the world is a circus and he and I are its greatest act. He stares at me like he is perplexed and doesn't know what to say. I don't blame him for his doubts; I don't know myself either. I can only feel the present — him and me under the pouring sky, both drenched. I thank the rain for its blissful sound because the silence would be worse without it.

Carter squeezes his eyes shut and breathes a sigh that appears to be a torturous one. When he opens them again, his dark sight fixes on me.

"Get up."

He gestures to the backseat of his motorcycle.

"What?" I ask, assuming that I have missed some of his words.

Is he scolding me for blocking his path?

"I said get up," he says louder this time and my eyes widen when I understand what he means.

He wants me to get on his motorcycle.

"But why?"

The question feels stupid on my tongue. The raindrops have weight and the words are difficult to be spoken.

"Get up. I'm taking you home."

I stand still at that offer. Home is the last place I want to go to. My mom's there but Panther is there too and Panther wants me. If I go back, it will be the end of my life. I can remember vividly every time he has ever thrown me a dirty look. I never pondered over it for more than a second but this time, he has declared it himself.

"No...no, no, no...please. I can't go home—"

"I know. I'm taking you to my house," he cuts me in between.

I blink, his appearance becoming blurry with the rain.

"To your house?"

He nods and then signals to his backseat again. I look between the seat and him, confused. He gestures again, slowly like I am not his classmate but a stray he has found on the road, and this time, I feel a rush of adrenaline rise through me.

"C'mon, snippy, I don't have all night. Get up. I can't leave you alone in this street now. If something happens, your soul will haunt me forever."

I hear a little bit of amusement in his voice.

He almost sounds happy to give me a lift. I hesitate but walk over, not knowing what else to do. He helps me by holding my arm as I climb over the seat and settle myself behind him. My hands shake with the serial number of rash decisions I am making and I wonder where I should hold to prevent myself from toppling over.

He starts the engine before I can decide and I fall forward, my chest pressing on his back. He takes his time wearing the helmet while I adjust myself.

"Hold me tight, snippy. You'll fall."

"But why are you taking me?"

His chuckle resonates in the air as his gloved hands take hold of my cold ones. He wraps my arms around his waist and I feel a blush on my cheeks. His body is so firm under my touch. It is all hard abs and sculpted muscles.

"This ride's gonna be long, snippy. Don't fall."

"I'll not," I say to myself as he turns the motorcycle around and it starts heading back in the direction where he came from.

"Where were you going?" I shout so that he can hear me over the sound of the rain.

"None of your concern," he shouts back and for the rest of the ride, we both stay silent.