despite the scars

Chapter 28 - Atelophobia

Midoriya looked up at the man in front of him, immediately recognizing the greasy black hair and baggy black clothes of his teacher. Midoriya smiled somewhat sheepishly at him, knowing that he must've done something wrong for his teacher to make such a weird face.

Aizawa lunged towards Midoriya, engulfing the small boy in a hug, mumbling about how he'd been asleep, and that Eri missed him. Midoriya grunted slightly, patting the man's back slightly, that earned him another weird look from Aizawa.

"I have a lot to explain to you."

Midoriya tilted his head slightly, indicating his curiosity with a silent motion before nodding at Aizawa, the man just sighed softly, he knew that Midoriya wouldn't take any of the news he was about to tell him well.

Midoriya and Aizawa walked together towards Midoriya's and Eri's room, the walk was awkward for Midoriya, he didn't know what to expect from Aizawa, and he had never seen the man to be so open with his emotions. Was Midoriya gone long enough to worry his teacher? The teacher that was notoriously stoic and uncaring?

Midoriya started to overthink, if he'd been asleep long enough to worry Aizawa, what would Eri think? What about Kacchan? He was weak enough to be overcome by stress, he overused his quirk, it was his fault, he left Eri, he was to blame for all of the stress that he put his family and friends through, and he didn't know if he could ever make it up to them. He knew that they would say that he is forgiven, that it wasn't his fault, but he knew it was, he arranged for the media and villains to come, he was the one who overplayed the situation, he was the one who thought he was better and stronger than the villains, he overestimated himself, and sacrificed his family's happiness, the one thing he promised to uphold for as long as he lived, for a goal that wouldn't even pay off immediately.

Midoriya still felt a nagging in the back of his skull, that feeling when you forget something, only this time it was ten times stronger. It pushed down on his mind, forcing him to try and think of what he had forgotten, only for his efforts to be fruitless. Midoriya didn't have any more time to think about the pressure building at the back of his mind, Aizawa had brought them to the door leading to his and Eri's dorm.

Aizawa looked down at his student, the boy had been through so much, and he knew that Midoriya had been withholding information regarding the villain attack, but he also trusted the vigilante with his life. Aizawa trusted Midoriya wholeheartedly, and he knew that whatever Midoriya did had a reason.

Aizawa hunched over Midoriya once more, squeezing him into another hug. Aizawa had missed Midoriya a lot, and he may not show his emotions as much as others, but this child was practically his own son, and Aizawa may not like hugs very much, but he didn't know any other way that he could express himself in the moment. Aizawa let Midoriya out of his grasp after a few seconds, taking one last look at the boy before pushing open the door. Inside was Midoriya's class, with the exception of a few people, but Midoriya would say that he is friends with all of the people gathered.

Aizawa motioned them out of the room, ignoring their shocked looks from seeing Midoriya after he was supposed to be in a coma. Nonetheless, they left when Aizawa said to, some sent Midoriya glances of an emotion he didn't quite recognize.

The only people left were Katsuki and Eri, they were both sitting on the couch that decorated the middle of the room. Eri was laying on Katsuki's lap, she appeared to be sleeping to Aizawa, but Midoriya saw her face of unrest and knew that she was either awake or having a nightmare.

Kacchan was sitting on the couch, looking just as tired as Eri, with dark bags adjourning the underside of his eyes and a slight haze covering them. Katsuki stared blankly at the pair that had just entered the room before the haze covering his eyes lifted. Midoriya could practically smell the relief flowing out of his friend, and knew that the only reason he wasn't being hugged once more was the sleeping Eri on Katsuki's lap. Tears started to well in Katsuki's eyes, they held so many emotions that even Aizawa panicked, he knew that his student was in a bad place, but he was doing all he could to help him, but he hadn't seen Katsuki so emotional throughout the entire situation.

Midoriya ran over to Katsuki, engulfing the larger boy in a hug. His shoulders shook as he sobbed silently, tears ran down his cheeks and landed on Midoriya's shoulder, staining the material a shade darker. Aizawa moved over silently, hoping not to disturb their moment, and took Eri off of Bakugou's lap, trying to gently wake her so that she could see Midoriya again.

Midoriya moved to a more comfortable position, sitting on the couch so that he could continue the hug. Katsuki wrapped his arms around Midoriya tighter, practically moving the smaller boy onto his lap, but Midoriya didn't mind, it was his fault that his family felt like this anyway, the least he could do is let them hug him. Mumbles started to leave Katsuki's lips, blocked by the thin hospital gown on Midoriya's shoulder, Midoriya only squeezed his friend harder, trying to console him as best as he knew.

Midoriya felt a weight against his shoulder, heavier than it was before, while the shaking of Katsuki's shoulders also stopped. Midoriya assumed that Kacchan had fallen asleep, his suspicions were confirmed when a voice spoke up behind him.

"Bakugou hasn't slept in a few days, he refused to."

Midoriya nodded silently, knowing deep down that it was his fault that Bakugou refused to sleep, he knew that the boy had a streak of insomnia when stressed.

Aizawa sat down in the chair opposite of Midoriya with a sigh. "We still have a lot to talk about." Midoriya nodded a confirmation, knowing he had no right to try and avoid the topic. Aizawa stood up gently, handing a still sleeping Eri over to Midoriya before sitting down again.

"What do you remember?" Midoriya shrugged, trying to communicate that the explanation was too complicated to repeat without words, the motion seemed to pain Aizawa, if the pained grimace was anything for Midoriya to go by.

"I'll start at the beginning." He paused slightly to look up at Midoriya, making sure that the boy was following, when he received a nod of confirmation he continued.

"You were running around the campus, letting out a lot of energy, You were exhausting yourself, I could see it, so Glenda went out to fetch you. At least that was what I heard from the students that were watching you two." Midoriya nodded his understanding, the memories had started to become more clear.

"That was when she called me into her office, she knew you would resist her." Midoriya's eyes widened at the words, tears automatically started to fall, though Midoriya didn't notice. All of his memories came flooding back, he remembered Glenda, how he couldn't stop her from sacrificing herself to him. Midoriya's posture crumpled as much as it possibly could with two people sleeping on him, but he wasn't aware of them being there.

Midoriya knew he had failed, but he didn't remember her, his failure spread so much further than he thought it had, but now he knew how much he truly did. He not only let an innocent die for him, but then forsake their gift by fighting an impossible battle. Midoriya couldn't believe himself, there was no possible way that he could fix his mistakes now. He thought that even Glenda would be angry with him, he had, after all, wasted the one thing she fought so hard to give him. Maybe if Midoriya had resisted harder if he was stronger, then Glenda wouldn't have died, she could've used her quirk on someone useful, her life wouldn't be wasted on a mistake like him.

Midoriya started sobbing, his shoulders shook and hunched over with pain, but it was all silent, he refused to make noise and wake his family, he had caused them so much pain that waking them up now would be unacceptable.

Aizawa laid a hand on Midoriya's back, he looked up at his teacher and he saw Aizawa's mouth moving, but he couldn't hear the words, it was muffled, and annoying. Midoriya wanted it all to stop, he knew that Aizawa was probably saying that it wasn't Midoriya's fault, that was only because Aizawa is his teacher, he had to say those things, but Midoriya knew they weren't true.

Midoriya lowered his head once again, ignoring the muffled words of his teacher and the comforting hand stroking his back, instead focused on stopping all of his tears from reaching any of the two sleeping on him.

Aizawa sighed softly, he knew that he had to find a good way to stop the boy's panic attacks, but at the moment, all he knew to do was call Recovery Girl, she always knew how to calm his students.