Fatal Flaws

chapter 17

By the time I wake up the next morning, it's already almost noon. It takes several minutes for me to fully wake up. I had forgotten how good it felt to sleep all night. Last night was the first night in over two years that I did not have any nightmares. Not one.My body feels so rested, better than I have in a long time.

I let out a low moan as I stretch. Looking around beside me, I realize that I'm alone. I'm surprised. I had expected to find Hayden next to me, or at least in the room. But he's not. It's only me.

I don't know why, but I'm upset. What did I even expect? I mean, it's not like we're in a relationship. Or even friends. But waking up alone was not what I had wanted. I can't help the small twinge of sadness that is building in my stomach.

Trying to get my mind off of things, I spend the day doing laundry and catching up on my notes for tomorrow. I have an English test which I'm dreading. I have been attempting to put off studying all weekend.

Sighing, I flip through the pages of my notebooks. Skimming over my chicken scratch writing. I like to organize my notes, separated by dates and classes. Each class has its own personal folder. I've divided each folder into chapters labeled by individual tabs. I also like to use different-colored highlighters. Yellow for dates, green for names, and pink for anything else I think is important.

I wish I would have tried this hard before. Maybe I would have been more successful in life. Instead of being eighteen with nothing to my name.

A ding from my computer across the room catches my attention. As I'm folding my clean load of whites, still skimming my notes. I match the last two socks in my basket, rolling them up before tossing them back into the basket. Before the call ends, I quickly rush over to the desk and open my laptop.

"Hey mom" I smile at the screen when her face appears. I hadn't realized until now how much I miss her.

"Bex, I miss you so much. You look amazing, honey. How are you liking all your classes? How have you been? Have you made any friends?" My mom eagerly starts bombarding me with questions. Not even giving me a chance to answer the first one before she asks the next one.It feels so good to see her face, but she looks different. I'm not sure what it is. I can't quite put my finger on it.

I know it's only been a couple of weeks since I left, but she has changed. She looks older, maybe even sadder than I remember. Or has she always looked like this and I never took the time to notice? I sit there taking her appearance in. It feels like I haven't seen her in ages, a lot longer than a couple of weeks.

She's wearing her favorite green sweater. The one that my nana had bought her last Christmas. As usual, she has her hair pulled up. I can't help but notice that she has a significantly larger amount of grey streaks through it. Or perhaps she hasn't dyed it lately.

"I'm doing good, Mom. You would be proud of me. So far, I am keeping all my grades up," I inform her. While holding up my notes to show her.

"Ask her the actual questions you want to know" April's screechy voice pops up from the background."How many guys have you fucked? Have you found any new college drugs that you like?" Her pudgy face appears smashed next to my mom's.

Her bushy brown hair is wild and matted against her chunky cheeks. Which are redder than usual. I'm assuming it's from the large break out of acne she has.I wish I could reach through the screen and slap that smug look off of her face.

"April!" my mom scolds, pushing her away. She smacks at her off of the screen. I know it's all for show. April never gets punished for real. That was always my department. I can tell by her face my mom is secretly wondering those same questions. But she doesn't want to ask them out loud. She's probably afraid of what my answers would be.