Tidal Moon (Renesmee & Jacob)

Chapter 26: Restless

"Renesmee, you aren't focusing." Mom grumbled as we stood in the field behind Jacob's house. It had been two weeks since he got hurt, but Jacob still wasn't fully healed. He was walking around but shifting still caused immense pain, so the pack insisted he refrain for a few more days and stay home, which was completely fine by me. I think he needs to rest as much as he wants after what he's been through.

"Mom, I am doing my best." I snapped, attitude seeping through my voice. Rosalie smirked and looked away to hide her laughter from mom, who had already noticed. She shot Rose an angry look before glancing back at me.

"I'm beginning to regret having Jacob open up the reservation for all of us." Mom muttered under her breath, referring to Jacob amending the treaty line and allowing my entire family to come and go as they please.

"You just don't like that her attitude takes after me, Bells." Rosalie winked at me before looking over at mom with a cocky expression. I couldn't help but laugh which resulted in mom looking like she was ready to rip the entire forest apart.

"Renesmee Cullen. I know you are a shield. I can feel it. So if you don't start taking this seriously." She growled.

"Excuse me? I am taking this seriously. I've taken it seriously for weeks. You have been here every single day and every single day I give it my all." I snapped, taking a few steps towards her.

"Maybe she needs encouragement." Rosalie said to mom, causing me to stop in my tracks.

"What?" I snapped in confusion. Mom smiled at Rosalie as though they were both in on some secret that I was unaware of.

"Maybe you're right." Mom grinned.

"What's going on?" I heard Jacob call from the porch. I glanced behind me as he began walking down the stairs and across the wet grass towards us.

Time felt like it began to move in slow motion as I realized what was going on. Rosalie and mom began to run at Jacob from different angles. There was no way I could stop both of them. Panic began to rise in my throat as I yelled the word 'no'. Suddenly it sounded as if a volcano had erupted and a cloud of red bubbled out and surrounded Jacob and I. Mom and Rosalie both slammed into the red forcefield I had created and flew back at least 20 feet. Jacob's eyes widened in shock.

"Holy shit, Ness." He breathed.
"Oh my god. You did it." He laughed in exhilaration. The red forcefield stayed intact around us as he approached me and lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist.
"God, you're amazing." He whispered, kissing me softly. I heard a whooshing sound as the forcefield slowly faded away. He sat me down and looked down at me proudly with a large smile on his face.

"Was that the plan all along?" I asked breathlessly, looking at mom who looked thrilled and shocked at the same time.

"I think you blew the plan out of the water." Rosalie said, picking leaves out of her hair as she laughed.

"I knew you could do it." Mom said, throwing her arms around me and hugging me tightly. I hugged her back still slightly in a state of shock regarding what had just happened. I never really imagined a world where I could harness that much power, but I guess we never really realize how strong we are until we test ourselves. 

Mom pulled away and let me know that she and Rose were going to go inform the family of today's revelations. I happily said goodbye, thrilled at the thought of finally being able to rest and spend some alone time with Jake.

"You amaze me everyday, you know that?" Jacob said, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and kissing the top of my head. I couldn't prevent the smile that lit up my face as I turned to look at him. I think his beauty will always catch me off guard and take my breath away. His jaw was relaxed and the dark circles under his eyes had disappeared, revealing the tan skin beneath.

"Sometimes I just want to run away with you." I sighed, squeezing the muscles in his arm slightly. The sunlight cast a strong beam between the two of us and my skin began to sparkle brighter than ever before.

"I've never seen it that bright." Jacob whispered, examining my skin slowly. He didn't look frightened by it, instead he looked both mesmerized and fascinated. 

"I worry that it might mean I'm losing my humanity." I breathed out shakily as I sat down in the thick grass. I felt him sit next to me and grab my hand.

"Why would you ever think that, Ness?" He questioned, concern evident on his beautiful face.

"The stronger I get, the more abilities I discover, it feels like I'm losing touch with who I was. Who I used to be before I left." I gently twirled a blade of grass between my index finger and thumb.

"Who ever said change was a bad thing, Renesmee? Nobody comes out of the other side of trauma completely fine or completely the same. You grew up protected. You had me and your family. When you were gone, you were in charge of protecting yourself, of course that changed you. You had to tap into your strength." He rationalized. I could feel his gaze resting on me intensely, but I refused to look up at him so I instead kept my focus on the little piece of green grass.

"That's not all, though. Jake, I'm angrier than I've ever been before. Even when I'm happy, I'm so angry and I just want to rip things apart. River killed my best friends. He killed Candace and Ty like their life didn't even matter. He just wiped them off of the face of the earth like they were nothing and I hate him. I can't wait to kill him." Tears were flowing down my cheeks like a steady stream, which only added to my frustrations. What is it in my DNA that makes me cry when I'm angry, because it's the most annoying thing ever?

"I'm sorry." Was all he could say. He squeezed my left hand tighter and I just sighed softly as I closed my eyes.

"Jacob I need you to make me a promise now. I know it's going to irritate you, but I need you to promise." I looked up at him finally. His brows were knitted together in confusion and he had a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite place.

"It depends." He finally said. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to kill him." I said sternly. Jacob jumped to his feet immediately and looked at me in shock and anger.

"What do you mean?! You are not going anywhere near him, Renesmee. I forbid it." He shouted. I sprung to my feet instantly and shoved him backwards. I didn't realize how hard I pushed him until I saw the look of anger in his eyes.

"You forbid it?" I laughed angrily.
"Let me clue you in! You don't forbid me to do anything. I am going to do it with or without your help. And so help me god if you even make an attempt at trying to stop me, I will finally settle the debate about which one of us is stronger-" I stepped forward but felt weakness wash over my body. Everything went hazy and I could see a million colors at once. My vision seemed to turn into a kaleidoscope and I could feel my breathing slowing down and getting caught in my chest. My chest burned and my knees buckled causing me to fall to the ground. 

"Renesmee!" Jacob's voice was distorted and sounded almost robotic, but somehow I could still hear the panic in it. 
"Renesmee, can you hear me? What's going on?" I nodded in and out consciousness. My head was pounding and I imagine that this is what dying must feel like because I've never experienced internal pain like this. I tried so desperately to speak to him, but the bubbling acid sensation in my throat kept my lips tightly sealed. 

 I tried to communicate with him mentally, but before I could even make an attempt, everything went black as I fell completely unconscious. For the first time in my entire life, everything was silent. No dreams, no background chatter or static. Just complete silence.