four

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---Rant with me about Zayn in the authors note if you want.

I step outside breathing heavy. This happened when I get in fights like this. The doctor told me when I was younger that they were panic attacks. I don't have them frequently just when I get in fights, when my dad left, when my mom died, and sometimes when I get bad news.

I slid down the side of the brick building trying to catch my breath. It wasn't working. I just sat breathing heavy panicking even more when I realized this one was out of my control.

The library door opened, I expected it to be a costumer leaving so I didn't even look up until I felt two hands take ahold of mine, immediately drawing my eyes upward.

Kian was sat inform of my with a concerned look on his face.

"Hey, are you okay? Well obviously your not okay, I mean your having a panic attack. I just-" he quickly cut himself off.

He looked at me one more time before leaning in, and pressing his lips to mine. I can't lie, I felt something. It felt tingly. It felt warm. It felt nice. I was shocked he had kissed me, but after I got over my shocked phase, I started kissing him back. I'm not sure why I did, it just felt right yet so wrong.

I quickly pulled back when I realized what I was doing. My eyes fluttered open looking at his already open eyes.

"That can't happen again." I say.

"It got you to get over your panic attack didn't it?" He asks smiling looking down at our hands that were still clasped together, I quickly pulled them apart and stood up, him following.

I didn't even realize I had stopped panicking.

"Yeah so, that doesn't mean it can happen again." I answer looking at him sternly.

"Do you ever smile?" Kian asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I just wanted to know why someone like you, doesn't smile."

"And I want to know why someone like you smiles so much, but I guess we both won't be getting answers." I say trying to change the subject.

"That's not true. I'll tell you just about anything you want to know. And to answer you question I smile because I deserve to, just like you do." He said, obviously smiling.

"Well I don't have an answer for you."

He dropped it after that obviously seeing I didn't want to talk about it.

"Where are your parents?" He randomly blurts, making me go stiff.

"Dead."

"Oh, I'm sor-" I quickly cute of his apology.

"Don't be, I hate sympathy, so don't show me any." I answer before walking back into the library.

He didn't follow, at least not right away.

A few minutes after I had walked in Smiley walked through the door, smiling, he walked up to the counter where I was and leaned up against it again.

"Can I have your number?" He asked.

"No." I answer simply.

"Too bad you left this outside." he answered before sliding my old cell phone crossed the counter.

--BAHAHAHA!! KIAN I LOVE YOU! WHY CANT THIS BE ME? BEA IS SKYLAR. BEA IS QUEEN!

Sorry this is so short, and I haven't updated in awhile, but idk I like this chapter.

So, who else is sick and tired of Zayn's shït? Because i know I am. I mean I will always support him, but he is being absolutely stupid right now. We can all still defend him, but until he defends us, his best friends, and even himself, my respect level will keep dropping. I'm just fed up with him right now.

X Emily

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